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Our Status

"Yes. May emergency kasi eh, sorry talaga. Babawi na lang ako bukas, okay lang ba?" Napapikit na lang ako habang pinapakinggan si Kyle sa kabilang linya. I prevented myself from telling him na hindi na niya ako nabibigyan ng time dahil sa pagkabusy niya. My fiancé is a doctor, kaya pilit kong iniintindi ang pagkabusy niya.

"No it's okay. Babawi ka naman bukas di'ba?" I replied. Narinig ko ang tawag ng nurses sa kanya sa kabilang linya. He looks so busy this past few weeks. Ilan na rin ang dates na namin ang hindi siya sumipot.

I ended up eating alone and being sad. And somehow, hindi ko alam kung bakit minsan ay wala akong gana kumain, I can't fully taste the food. Is it because I'm just sad?

"Yes yes. I love you hon, I'll hang up now." hindi pa ako nakakapag-I love you ay pinatay na niya ang tawag. I smiled bitterly before calling the waiter.

This is our seventh date, our anniversary is coming soon. Natatakot akong baka makalimutan niya iyon sa sobrang busy.

Pagkalabas ko sa restaurant ay nagring ang cellphone ko. I picked up the call, its my gynecologist, nakalimutan kong may check up pala ako.

"Althea, you've missed your check up last month, sinabi mong pupunta ka the next day di'ba? Pero hindi ka rin pumunta." I sighed. That's the time na nagready ako for our monthsary. Pero katulad ng dati, hindi pumunta si Kyle.

"I'll go to your clinic tomorrow, magpapacheck up ako. I'm not really gaining my appetite these days eh." sagot ko. May ilan pa siyang sinabi bago nag-end ang tawag.

—

The next day, I went to her clinic. Doctora Romero did some tests, I patiently waited and when the results came... she eyed me worriedly.

"How's your relationship with Kyle doing?" she asked. At this time, alam ko nang hindi na si Dr. Romero ang kausap ko, I'm now talking to a concerned friend, Janine.

"He's busy and all. Pero may times na dadalhin niya ako sa labas para makabawi."

"Are you two engaging sexual activities lately?" tanong niya.

"Hmmm, the last time we did it, I think it's in the first week... of the past month." I answered. I don't know why but I'm being nervous.

"You're taking contraceptives regularly right?" tanong niya, and I nodded.

"Here," inabit niya sa akin ang test results, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko nang mabasa ko ang resulta kanina.

"Althea, you're pregnant."

—

"Kyle, may importante akong sasabihin sa'yo, but I'll tell it to you in our anniversary." sabi ko sa kanya sa tawag.

"What is it? I can't wait to hear it." napangiti ako sa sagot niya, even though he's busy, he still makes sure to call me everytime. I love him, more than everything.

—

"Kyle..." I'm standing alone at the middle of the restaurant. It's our anniversary, but he won't come. I can feel my heart ache. I unconsciously touched my womb, tears streaming down my cheeks as I cry.

"Shh, don't worry baby. We'll go to daddy, right now." I whispered, hindi na ako nag-aksaya ng oras. I drove my car to the hospital. Tears prevented me from seeing the road clearly, my vision is blurry.

Just when I'm about to steer to other side of the road to stop myself from driving, blinding light approached me fast. And the last thing I knew, I was at a hospital, staring at the white ceiling.

—

Napatingin ako kay Kyle na nasa pinto ng kwarto, hinihingal niya akong tiningnan. I avoided his gaze. Naalala ko ang nangyari, napahawak ako sa tiyan ko. My baby...

"Hon, I'm so sorry..." he immediately went to my side, kissing my forehead as he say sorry to me a thousand times. My eyes watered, tears are about to fall down my cheeks but I didn't cry.

"My baby's not gone right?" My voice cracked, ang sakit-sakit ng katawan ko. Pero hindi iyon maikukumpara sa bigat na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"I'm so sorry hon. Wala akong kwentang doktor, hindi ko nailigtas ang anak natin. I'm so sorry." Niyakap niya ako. Hindi ako nagsalita. Niyakap ko rin siya ng mahigpit. I cried and cried. And he keeps telling sorry to me. Pareho kaming nasasaktan ngayon.

Pero kahit anong gawin namin, our baby's life won't come back.

—