Three: Weddings and Confessions
(UNEDITED)
I was shaking. I was shaking like a coward.
Then I realized how scared I really was. How I was holding myself together with the thinnest of threads. I tell myself it doesn't matter what people say you will make it out alive.....and that is all that mattered.
But, I was wrong, they had gotten to me, that was obvious. Sure, I wasn't dead but I knew that I wasn't the same, they had made me wish death was an option. And now, this man, with one single sentence, is asking me to face my demons. All at once.
He was breaking down a wall in me that I had of no idea, a wall that was built so careful. A shelter for me, for what was left of me.
I was a coward. A fucking coward....who was scared out of her mind.
*~*~*~*~*
"Oh, It's just an inside joke." I looked out the window, as if I was staring at the crescent of a moon. In reality I was avoiding his beautiful yet terrifying eyes. I knew if I even glanced at him, I was done. I would tell him everything..... I would cry, but most importantly I would let him see the coward I was.
"It didn't seem like you were happy to hear it. Actually, you looked like you were going to cry." His voice was gentle, he was being so different. I closed my eyes and let the gentleness of his voice sink in. This man wasn't as cold as I believed.
"Well I never said it was an inside joke that I liked." My voice was a bare whisper. I turned to my face toward him and a tear slipped down my face. My mind didn't seem to work, there was nothing but emotion.
His cold eyes remained on me for a couple of seconds and moved away. Then my thoughts started to process and move.
Stop it Nandhi, don't open up to the beast.
I quickly turned my head back toward the window, my hand raising to wipe away the stray tear.
"But, I'm used to it." I let out a forced chuckle. "It's not like it's hurting anyone." My voice started to fail towards the end of my statement. Lying, it was much harder then it sounded. I let out soft sniffle.
Then there was silence.
Complete, deafening silence.
Warmth filled me through the ice cold of my skin A sharp gasp left my lips. My eyes wide as the warmth of him slipped through.
His hand placed ever so gently on my own.
"Is it?"
" Sorry, we took so long. You would think I knew my way around this place, but we might of gotten lost." Fel ducked her head into the car, peering at us. Braxton moved quick , yanking his hand back and sliding to the other end if the seat.
"So we were like, walking and I was just like 'where the hell are we going!'......". My sister's voice was just a soft hum, as she placed herself next to me. Her endless chatter barely being acknowledged. I kept my eyes focused on Braxton, the gentleness of the person before lost. He was back to cold eyes, talking intently with Alexander.
As I closed my eyes a drifted in to sweet slumber; there was two words drifting through my mind.
Braxton Blackwell.
~*~*~*~*
"Five more minutes, I promise!"
"No Fel, you said that ten minutes ago. You're going to never make it to the alter in time, if you don't walk up." I was just as sleepy as my sister, but it was her big day and she had to be up and ready for the alter in a mere eight hours.
