The Sharpest Lives.

Chapter 1: When Your Heart Stops Beating. (Gerard's POV).

I usually found myself wondering what the meaning of life was. What kind of superior power brought us here only to let us die? Not only from disease and natural death, but from the pain we inflected on ourselves. Cruelty was our nature, as greed and selfishness. Humans are incapable of loving someone.

I don’t know why we are here. I don’t know what kind of heartless creature has put us on this planet only so we can kill each other, only to watch us die.

I also found myself looking at the sky searching for answers rather too much for a normal person. But I wasn’t normal. Paranoia and suicidal thoughts consistently hunted me, crept inside my head and made me want to die.

Then, I also knew I was different, and I loved being different. Hell, I was the smartest person I knew. I had also accepted that my intelligence and self-deprecation would one day be the reason of my death, but before that I needed to know why. I needed to know who had put us here and why we were born to die.

As I brushed my outrageous red hair off my face, I noticed Frank Iero looking at me from the corner of the café. He didn’t know who I was, but given my need to know stuff, I had tracked him down since he first arrived to Belleville. I knew he was an only child, his mother was abusive and his father had left. I also knew he played guitar and liked more or less the same stuff I liked. I didn’t care about his problems at all, I am human and therefore I am selfish. I was keeping an eye on him because he seemed to be suffering for a secret.

And I hated secrets. At least, the ones that weren’t mine. It was irrational how much anxiety and doubts clouded my head if I didn’t know something, I was well aware it was incoherent, but I couldn’t change the fact that I was how I was.

If I was normal, I’d have approached him and try to become friends with him because we were both interested in the same things. But I didn’t want a friend. I didn’t need a friend. I was good on my own. But I could also befriend him so he would tell me his secret and then disappear from his life, as the asshole I was.

I decided to stand up and talk to him, since he couldn’t take his eyes off me it wasn’t going to be a difficult task. Before that, I had to write my plan down in the little notebook I kept with me at all times, it helped me deal with the many things that were going on inside my head. Once I was done with that, I proceeded to approach him and couldn’t help but notice the subtle blush that was starting to cover his cheeks. This was going to be a piece of cake.

‘’Hello, Frank’’

He looked at me widening his eyes to a point it looked funny. I knew all the little doubts that were inside his head now, ‘’why does he know my name?’’ ‘’do I know him?’’. Much to my surprise, he answered.

‘’Hello, Gerard’’

Well, that was unexpected at least. How did this fucker here know who I was? No one knew who I was without my consent, that was the way things worked in this town.

‘’Are you wondering how do I know who you are?’’

Well, obviously. He probably just asked for personal amusement and I wasn’t up for being the little distraction of a dumbfuck like him. To my bewilderment, he kept talking.

‘’It has been a pain in the ass seeing you following me around with that mop of gorgeous red hair you have, you know? I thought I should return the favor’’

He had been following me. No one had followed me before. Jesuschrist, who was this kid?

‘’Well, I hope I have fulfilled your necessity for amusement, Frank’’

Sass was always the best option. Sass, irony and sarcasm were my best friends, mix them with a bit of bitterness and there I am.

‘’Oh, you have, Gerard, you have’’

I raised my eyebrow. He might have seen something weird. Christ, for all I knew he could have been standing outside my window while I was jerking off.

‘’You sing really well, by the way’’

Oh. That. I only sang because my grandma had leaded me into it, and I didn’t let anyone hear me singing. He had no right to do that.

‘’I know, I have also heard myself. But I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t do that again, I do not like people hearing me sing. I don’t like people, for that matter. So stay the fuck out of my way, Iero’’

Well Gerard, there goes your attempt of befriending someone. Wave at it as it passes by, say goodbye.

But the motherfucker grinned. He was having fun with this, I could tell.

‘’So you can spy on everyone but no one can spy on you? Is that how this works?’’

I just stared at him defiantly.

‘’I don’t know what do you want from me, Frank. But stay away from me, it will make your life easier’’

‘’No, Gerard. What do you want from me? You were the one following me in the first place, so I won’t stay out of your way’’

Ha. This fucker thinks he can outsmart me. Well, try me motherfucker.

‘’What I want from you is something I will not share with you, Frank. But I will take what I want from you, it doesn’t matter if you are willing to dispense it with me’’

He smirked. I didn’t like that our little conversation was amusing him, he was supposed to be scared of me as everyone was and let me manipulate him the way I wanted so I could discover that little dirty secret and screw him up. I knew I was a bad person and I didn’t give the slightest of fucks about it.

‘’Then, let me help you. I think you are interesting, so you can follow me closer if you want to and try to discover anything you want’’

He winked. That made me think he was flirting with me and surprised me. He seemed to be straight, it was the vibe I caught from him. Maybe I was wrong.

‘’Thanks, but I think I am smart enough to not to have to follow you around like a puppy to discover anything. We are only ourselves when we are alone, Frank’’

‘’Let’s see how long it takes for you to start hanging out with me, Gerard. The first time we’ll share a cigarette. The second time we’ll maybe listen to our favorite Iron Maiden song. And then, even before you are able to realize about it, you won’t be able to live without me’’

I laughed. As if. I didn’t like people, I didn’t need anyone. That’s why the therapist my mother made me visit labelled me as ‘’sociopath’’. That’s why everyone in this town was scared of the weird emo kid with red hair and far too much intelligence for them to comprehend the slightest bit of me.

‘’Sure, Frankie. Stay out of my way’’

I stood up from the table and walked out the diner. This kid could talk all he wanted, he could daydream all he wanted about me. The fact was that I didn’t want to be friends with him, I didn’t even want him to know who I was. My plan now was to make myself forget about this Iero guy and his secret, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of following him around.

I arrived to the woods that were near my house and took my cigarettes out to start drawing and forget about him, but his words kept haunting me, clouding my head and all that I could bring myself to draw were his hazel eyes. I was starting to get mad at myself for letting another human being control me. I was the one to control all my moves and feelings and I was smart enough to not to let him interfere with my solitary life.

At least that was what I thought back then.

****A/N: Hey guys! This is my second frerard fanfic and it's going to be different from the first one which is more teenager-ish and stuff :) I want to make clear that none of the characters that I am describing here are that way in reality, so if you read someone being mean or someone being an asshole it doesn't mean they are that way or that I don't like them, I just write them that way for the story. I'll add another chapter later, hope you like it!****