Chapter 5: Falling asleep on a Stranger (Gerard's POV)

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I handed the tank top to Frank as anxiety took a seat on my chest and started drinking a cup of tea while telling me ‘’son, I’m here to stay’’. I didn’t know what had pushed me to invite Frank to stay the night. I was feeling sympathy and that was against everything I believed in. Sympathy wasn’t a feeling, but a social convention. Since we live in groups and have the necessity to get along with each other so we don’t get our throats slayed during the night, we had created sympathy, something to create the illusion of kindness and consideration for another human being during their suffering, and again it was something motivated from our own interests. Selfishness.

I glanced at Frank as he got rid of his own t-shirt and tossed it on the floor. Damn, he had even more tattoos. He took his pants off and with that I lost all my morals, ideas and a bit of my heart. Well, the kid was hot, sue me.

‘’Are you going to stop looking at me with that silly face any time soon?’’

Oh. Mockery. He was using the words I had used earlier that very same day, and I felt blood running to my cheeks again. I was blushing way too much since I had started talking with Frank and I was yet to decide whether I liked it or not. For the time being, I was feeling embarrassed as fuck.

‘’Sorry…’’

I changed into my own pajamas, which consisted of an old tee and my boxers and slipped into bed, facing the wall. I felt the mattress sink a bit under Frank’s weight and shivered. How was I supposed to get any kind of sleep when there was a hot as fuck short guy who I didn’t know if I hated or liked in the bed with me? This was going to be a long night.

‘’Gee?’’

‘’Gee? What the fuck is Gee, Frank?’’

‘’You call me Frankie all the time, princess’’

I rolled my eyes and turned to face him pretending to be pissed off, but the truth was that I liked the way he shortened my own name and rolled the G on his tongue only to let the E take his mouth by storm.

‘’What do you want?’’

‘’I told you about me, tell me about you’’

Oh, hell no. That wasn’t going to happen. It was my privacy and to be fair, I didn’t harass him at all in order to learn about his parents… there it was again, that stupid sympathy feeling. As he looked me in the eye with those beautiful hazel gems of his, I decided to tell him something small and save the big creepy facts of my pathetic little life for myself.

‘’I’m 19 years old, I work at the record shop, I don’t have any friends and I like being alone’’

‘’Bab… Gee, I already know that, I have been following you around too. Tell me something no one knows’’

‘’Frank, I swear to god if you even try to call me baby again I’m gonna punch you right in that stupid cute little face of yours’’

‘’You think I’m cute?’’

‘’See? There’s the thing that no one knows about me, I do find you cute. Now, sleep’’

‘’But…’’

‘’Frankie. Sleep. Now.’’

I faced the wall again and closed my eyes sighing. I could feel his eyes on the back of my fucking head and as much as I tried to ignore the sensation that he was observing me, I couldn’t. I rolled my eyes and faced him again. The motherfucker closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, so I did the same. His hand was resting on the pillow near my face and I wanted to grab it. I wanted to take his hand in mine, and feel his fingers curl up against mine, the warmth of his grip. I doubted for a few minutes, this wasn’t me. Even with Bert, I didn’t do this. I didn't care about holding hands or just sleeping with another human being. I did like sex from time to time, but I was better off on my own. Yet Frank seemed to have arrived to make me question everything I believed in and maybe made me realize that I was maybe wrong. Maybe some company would do me well. And let’s face it, he was cute and intelligent and we were both into the same things. I could try to tolerate someone for a change.

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