The Sharpest Lives.

Chapter 3: Millions (Gerard's POV)

I watched Frank disappear between the trees and wondered why he would say that. Damn it, now I was more curious than ever. I sighed and looked at the sky again feeling the soft breeze caressing my cheeks and craving for a cigarette and maybe a coffee. Frank was gone and with him the cigars were gone as well. Fucking Frank.

I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed the number I had dialed a million times before, knowing that it was a mistake and that it will probably lead to a few days of feeling bad with myself and some auto-destruction as well, but hell I needed a fuck and the person who was going to fuck me will have cigarettes for sure.

‘’Bert?’’

‘’Hey, Gerard. It’s been a while, sweetie’’

‘’I know. Uh… can we meet? I need a cigarette and maybe something else… you know’’

‘’Sure, baby. Let’s meet at mine in an hour, is that okay?’’

‘’Yeah, that’s fine’’

‘’See you later, slut’’

‘’Bye, Bert’’

The fact that he was calling me a slut and that Frank had assumed earlier that I was, made me feel bad. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want Frank thinking badly of me… even though I was. I had let Bert do to me whatever he wanted in exchange for drugs, booze and just the feeling that someone found me desirable. I brushed those thoughts off my mind and without hesitating, started walking over to Bert’s, a route I knew way too well to not to be ashamed of myself.

I thought about Frank the whole time I was walking to Bert's. Why would he say he was dangerous? Fuck, I hated secrets. I needed to know why, it was driving me crazy. And probably that was what Frank wanted. Obviously he wanted me to think about him so I'd come for him like a lost puppy. Well, I was smarter than that. I smiled proudly for having discovered his plan... but that smiled faded a bit. What if it was the truth? What if he was hiding something and he was in fact dangerous? For god's sake, it was driving me crazy.

45 minutes later I was standing on Bert's driveway and decided to knock on his door even though I was 15 minutes early. I stood there awkwardly until some guy with blondish hair and obviously stoned opened the door.

‘’Hi’’

‘’Uh… hi. Is Bert here?’’

‘’Bert? Sweetie, there’s a kid looking for you’’

Sweetie? A kid? Who the fuck was this man? I knew Bert and I weren’t exclusive, but I didn’t fuck anyone else. I didn’t talk to anyone else, for the matter. I had thought he was doing the same and now I was embarrassed for being so stupid. Bert appeared on the door, with a crooked smile and his greasy black hair all over his face. I didn’t find him sexually attractive at all, but he was providing me with dope and alcohol, so whatever. I just pretended I liked it and let myself go for a few hours before returning to my life as a loner.

‘’Hey, Gerard. It’s been some time since the last time I saw you, you little bitch’’

‘’I know… uh. Do you want me to leave? Are you busy?’’

‘’No, Alex was just about to leave, right honey?’’

‘’Yeah, I’m leaving now. See you guys later’’

Alex gave Bert a peck on the lips and left, trying to walk in a straight line and failing miserably. I shook my head as I followed Bert inside and took the cigarette he was offering me. Damn, I was fucking addicted to those things.

‘’So… how’s it going?’’

‘’Fine. Who was that?’’

‘’Alex. Just one of my other fucks, you know’’