Bensler 2

Refusal

Elliot and Olivia were gonna be parents they were so happy. Kathy kept bothering them, but she knew Elliot didn't want to pick her. He proved he loved her everyday.
Down at the precinct they were working on more cases. Olivia was very moody, she just wanted to leave work but she didn't want to. Olivia was working on my computer as she was researching, she heard Kathy's voice. Olivia rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom, she felt so sick.
-Olivia's-
POV
I know I shouldn't be upset or jealous because there is no reason for it..Elliot is staying with me. But I know I'll see something I don't want to that wasn't even suppose to happen. Kathy seems to really want him back. She doesn't know I'm with Elliot and I'm not sure if Elliot told her. I'd actually hope she does know. I'm 2 weeks pregnant with Elliot's child. I'm happy I really am but just like always something will go wrong. I don't know how I can sense that..
As Olivia threw up in the toilet she was finally done, she rinsed her mouth and left. She went to the cribs to her locker to get her purse. As she got in there Kathy was kissing Elliot. Olivia looked and both of them stopped. She turned around to leave but the baby kicked.
"Liv..it's not what it--" Elliot said but was cut off.
Olivia was holding her stomach "you know it was exactly what it looked like" she said. Elliot tried to touch her arm.
"Don't touch me" she said moving her arm. Elliot rubbed his face and whispered.
"She kissed me first Liv I tried to push her off" he whispered.
Olivia rolled her eyes "right.." She said walking away.
Elliot yelled. "You think id cheat on you? You're the only one I want Liv, your to quick to assume" he said.
Olivia turned around in fury "Oh so Jackie and Stephanie?!? I was to quick to assume that?" She yelled back. Olivia felt dizzy she sat down holding her head. Elliot walked over to her and touched her. She had tears. She got up and went to captains office and opened the door madly.
"I want to turn in my papers" she said putting her hands on his desk. Elliot over heard at the door.
"Liv you can't turn your papers in right now 1pp has no new detectives or that can be transferred you'll have to wait next month." Cap said
Olivia stood straight and wiped her tears away. "A month?!? Alright whatever" she said leaving the door.
"Instead of fighting why can we fix this?" Elliot said and grabbed Olivia and everyone looked but then looked away.
"She doesn't love you like I love you El..." Kathy said rudely. Olivia cried even harder.
"Exactly" Olivia said pulling Elliot's arm off her.
-Elliot's-
POV
This is happening all over again. I can never be with the woman I love because everyone ruins it. You think love is easy...it's not. I didn't kiss Kathy she kissed me I tried to pull her off but she wouldn't let go. Liv Came in at the bad time, I wish she saw me push Kathy off.. I have a child with Olivia I want her more than anything in the whole entire world. But how am I suppose to prove that? Honestly.
"Liv..please don't--" Elliot said
"Don't want el..leave? Don't turn my papers in? Don't hurt myself WHAT!?!" She said looking back.
Elliot got frustrated and took her arm gently into the interrogation room and shut the door hard and turned to her.
"Liv. I love you why don't you understand that? You refuse to realize it. Why? I pushed Kathy off and then she came back onto me. I told you she would ruin us. I told her I'm in love with you. Do you love me Liv or not? I want a family with you...more than anything" he said so deeply.
Olivia sat down in the chair and thought to herself for a while.
"I know you love me...but that day you told me Kathy wanted you back you made it seem like you wanted her back...and you probably do. And el if you do that fine you had her first.and yes I love you I've always loved you but our relationship is a disaster. I want a family with you but if this is gonna happen then forget it." Olivia replied.
Olivia got up trying to walk out the door but Elliot blocked it she tried to move Elliot but got tired of trying. Elliot grabbed her face kissing her.
Olivia felt that whenever they got into a fight that what he always did to make it up. Olivia knew he loved her and she realized that Kathy was just getting to her. But something was pulling her back. A baby was growing inside of her. She didn't know what to do anymore she felt hurt all over again. But she didn't forgive Elliot just yet. Olivia was feeling depressed, she wasn't going to drink her life away because of the baby she thought to herself {razors} she cried inside. She pulled away from the kiss and finally moved Elliot from the door.
Elliot touched her hand trying to stop her but he couldn't.
"Liv don't do this.." Elliot said in sadness.
Olivia had tears in her eyes. "Watch me." She said continuing to walk grabbing her stuff and going home
Elliot hit the door.
As Olivia got home she ran a bath, she was trying to forget what had happen today but it kept replaying in her head. She put bubbles in her bath it smelt like lavender. She got in and just felt so depressed and cried, all she ever wanted was to be with Elliot and the fact that she knows that it may never happen killed her. She grabbed the razor from behind her and slit her wrist and then went to the next wrist. She turned the music on so loud the whole apartment could hear it. One of the neighbors called
"Hello? My neighbor Olivia benson has her music loud and I don't wanna go over there because...yeah" the neighbor said. Captain hung up the phone.
"FIN AND ELLIOT GO TO LIVS APARTMENT THERE WAS A COMPLAINT ABOUT HER MUSIC BEING LOUD" Cap said quickly.
Olivia cried and saw the bottle of vodka on the kitchen counter. She was tempted but it would hurt the baby. So she continued to cut herself, she cut deeper. She dozed off. Elliot and Fin arrived at her apartment and broke down the door. Elliot and Fin looked everywhere until, Elliot saw her in the tub with blood everywhere.
"CALL A BUS! CALL A BUS" Elliot said loud. Elliot kissed Olivia's forehead and whispered "I know it's my fault...I'm sorry..please stay with me." He said.
The ambulance arrived and put Liv's body on the stretcher. "Family of Olivia benson can come along" the woman said. Elliot got in the bus, and drove to Mercy hospital. He held Olivia's hand and kissing it.
Elliot thought to himself that he had to make everything right. But knew that nothing could ever be right. So he had an even better idea.