Fuzzies And Thistles

Do Something - 12/3/2020

Something I decided back in august was I wanted to be useful. I wanted to do and be something more than the fly on the wall, the shut in planted on the couch behind a computer all day, I wanted to be helpful and a gift to someone. I want to live a life, not just exist comfortably. That means, of course, getting up and doing something, taking responsibility and doing hard things.
The start of this is asking my father how. When I need to take responsibility, ask how to do that, when there's a need for someone, ask how I can help.
I ask where I am needed, how I can help, and what I am to do.
Because leaving myself to my own devices is to let me waste away, fighting myself in a vain attempt to accomplish a worldly task that means nothing.
I would never give up on that, of course, but it should never be the point, it should never be the sole reason I get out of bed in the morning, it would be self defeating then.
A terrible betrayal it would be to what I write if I were believe it were the answer. A shame it would be to its worth if I were to claim its own sake enough to celebrate its existence.
As I write I waste away under obscurity, oblivion taking my name and body as I offered it my soul with simple time and attention.
I do not want that to be me.
If I can save one person from their own despair, they may save just two others who may go on to save more.
A story stops on the page, my soul can't be carried with it wherever it goes.
The kindness of humans can spread like wildfire, catching on and affecting others. Life breeds life. It may be a single acorn, heck it might be a fickle sweetgum ball, but planted and tended to will yield many more acts of kindness and ministry.
I cannot sit and fight myself, I must stand and be ready for when I must be there for someone, to help, to encourage, to teach, to explain, to love, who knows what will be needed from me.