The Timing of Love

Chapter 18

I woke up with a pounding headache the next day. I had to spend the night holding Camilla's hair up as she emptied the contents of her stomach in the toilet. I pulled my sunglasses down into my eyes and walked towards the cafeteria to meet my friends for lunch, thankful that the headache had subsided a little. They were all there and so was Julian to my dismay. I was still uneasy with jealousy from the previous night. How could he insist on dating me and flirt with another girl the next moment? See? Men are stupid.

"Aren't you all looking like sunshine this evening?" I said as I sat down at the table. They looked horrible with dark circles and a pale pace. Camilla still looked a little green. I knew we would not be doing much eating. I removed my sunglasses, placed my bag on the table, and lied my head on it. "Ah," I sighed contently and frowned at the stare of Julian sitting beside me. I guessed it was settled that my seat would be next to his whenever we were there.

"Can I do something for you, Ryders?" I asked a little bit harshly.

"Sure, go on a date with me," he said with so much confidence I wanted to smack him.

I snorted and turned my head the other way. "Why don't you ask that blond dangling off your lap from yesterday? I'm sure she will more than happy to, you ass."

The other boys hollered and whistled and Jeffrey said, "Want some peanut butter with the jelly, Elle?"

"Want some blood off your mouth, Jeff?" I challenged glaring at him before softening up. "Sorry, it's the hangover." I paused again and added, "I'm not jealous. Last night only showed that he thinks I was stupid and that he's a dumb jerk if he thinks that's the way to a girl's heart."

"Or the girl's V-jay-jay," Amelia added and I glared at her.

"Is there really a way to your heart? If so, please, do show me," Julian said, ignoring Amelia's comment. Thankfully.

"F' off, Ryders," I spat out.

We all fell silent, awkwardness hanging above us. I met Amelia's eyes across the table and we did our weird telepathic conversation with our eyes. It was obvious that she was asking me what that little outburst was about and I mentally shrugged, causing her to roll her eyes and sigh. This went on for a while and the other looked confused.

"Cut it off, you two," Camilla groaned.

"Yeah, this is weird," Annabeth said.

"Sorry," both of us said before laughing. Just like that, the awkwardness was gone. The boys started talking about soccer and Ronaldo's goal and I tuned out, not understanding a thing. Julian leaned in towards me, the mouth at the tip of my ear, minty breath warming the side of my neck. All conversations stopped at his suddenness and they all looked at us openly. Geez.

"I did nothing with her. I just walked her back to her dorm room and when she asked me to join her inside, I said that it's you that I want," he whispered raising goosebumps on my milky skin.

"I don't care but sure. You want me so much that you flirted with her all night long," I hissed back, glaring at him. "I'm not stupid, Ryders."

A grin broke onto his beautiful face. How dare he be so handsome and looked happy when I was utterly pissed at him? I wanted to smack him again. It was easy for him to believe that it was okay flirting with her and still think that he had a chance. Yesterday made me realise what a player he was and how bad the heartbreak would be. I couldn't bear that.

"It was to see if you feel something towards me. I wanted to make you jealous and it worked," he said, leaning his head on the table, facing me. "I like you, Elle," he whispered so softly that I was sure only I could hear him. It made my heart raced.

"Well, thank you," I said, still glaring at him. "I don't like you. Problem solved."

He sat up and sighed out a puff of frustration, running his hands into his curls. "What did that guy do to you? Fuck!" he said through gritted teeth, loud enough for all of our friends to hear. Well, damn did he snap. I tensed up along with Amelia.

"Excuse me?" I asked, my throat feeling suddenly dry.

"That ex-boyfriend of yours, Joshua," he spat out, anger visible on his features. I glanced at Amelia in panic. "What did he do for you to be... like this?" he gestured towards me. I slowly grabbed my bag with shaky hands, feeling the tears coming up.

"Running away, huh? Again? That's your go-to solution. Tell me, Elle. Did he dump you? Cheat on you? Not every man is like him," he said, grabbing my elbow. He was right, some men were players and insensitive douchebags.

I quickly pulled away and stood up, ready to go. My heart clenched at his words. How could he disrespect Joshua and the wonderful relationship he gave me? He didn't know anything. A tear escaped my eyes and for a second, his expression softened before being masked in anger again. He had no right to be angry. I looked at all of them and took in their shocked and confused expression. I never mentioned Joshua to them as a way to keep him and his memory safe in my heart. I did not want them to pity me but above all, I did not want them to pity him. Yet, Julian here seemed to hate him. No, he hated him. He hated the man that gave me the best four years of my young life. I looked him square in his blazing green orbs.

"No, he died," I said quietly and walked away. He didn't say anything and I did not look back to see his expression. They all remained silent when I walked out of the cafeteria with tears pouring out of my eyes. I did not go back home, I walked past it and onto the busy evening streets. The sky had darkened as if matching my mood. I hailed a taxi, I did not want to stay there right now. Just as I was about to enter, I saw Amelia running towards me, panting. I wiped my tears and stared at her. We stared at each other, not saying anything but a thousand words passed between us. She moved in closer, ready to hug me but I stepped away, one foot into the taxi already.

"I'll see you soon." My voice was cold, deprived of any emotion. She simply nodded and I was gone.

This was life. Sipping a cocktail on the balcony of my hotel room in New York, admiring the city lights and wonderful view. Cars were honking their way through the dense traffic and the skyscrapers provided me with a showcase of lights on this cold evening. I was wrapped in a huge comforter, sitting on one chair with my socked feet propped on the table. I went directly to the airport after what had happened the previous day, ignoring all phone calls and messages. When I arrived there, I went on a shopping spree to buy myself some clothes and shoes for the weekend and went to meet my parents at the five-star hotel. We had had lunch together, talking and laughing.

My father told me about his new business deals while my mother talked about her new designs and her creation for me for the night. I forgot all about what had happened, being calmed and away from it all. I did not want to answer their questions. My phone rang again and it was Amelia. Sighing, I pondered whether or not to answer. Answering would mean getting sucked back into it all and I didn't want that. I switched off my phone, hoping she would understand. Then, knowing her, she would not enjoy her week-end if she was worried about me. I sighed again, grabbed my phone, switched it back on, and dialed her. She picked up after the first ring.

"Elle," she said with relief. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Ames. Don't worry about me. Enjoy your weekend at Leo's," I said and walked back inside my room, closing the door behind me.

"Are you sure? I'm so sorry about what happened yesterday."

"It was not your fault, stop it. And yes, I am very sure. I promise that I am fine," I said. "Now, go enjoy with your beau and you better tell me everything about it on Monday."

"Will do." She paused. "I wish I was there with you, Elle."

"Me too but Ames, you can't always come running after me whenever things go wrong for me. I am beyond grateful that you do, but you have your life too. I'm tougher than I was years ago," I said and the minute the words left my mouth, I knew it was true.

"I know, Elle. I guess I'll see you on Monday with juicy gossips. Happy Thanksgiving, I love you," she said.

"They better be juicy, I'm feeding off your love life right now. Happy Thanksgiving, I love you too."