You Smiled Because You Knew ||Phan||

Chapter One: Monster

        "Ah, fuck," I breathed into my pillow as a ray of London sunlight streaked upon my face. "What time did I fall asleep last night?" I asked Phil groggily, figuring he was awake next to me checking twitter or something of the sort.

        No answer.

        "Phil?" I asked again, half-opening my eyes.

        No answer.

        I slapped my hand on the barren bedsheet next to me. Nothing. I sprang up in bed to find the door to my room shut. Phil never shut it in the morning.

        "Phil?" I called out.

        Again, no answer. No tea kettle shriek, no microwave ding, no coffee maker hiss, not even the almost silent Mario theme song playing. Nothing.

        I sighed heavily and got out of bed, not even bothering to put anything on over my boxers. "Philly, where are you?" I shouted, pushing open the door to an empty hall.

        I was getting flustered. Phil never went anywhere without telling me or leaving a note. If he went into town, he would have at least left an adorable little sticky note on my bedside table. The living room was way too quiet and still. It bothered me tremendously.

        I half-jogged to his room and opened the door with a little more force than intended.

        "Well, good morning, then." Phil said nonchalantly, without looking up from his laptop.

        I stood there for a moment in utter confusion, unsure how to phrase my thoughts. "P-Phil...," I mumbled, looking extremely frazzled, no doubt.

        "Hmm?" He hummed, as though nothing was wrong at all. He didn't even look up from his damn laptop.

        "What the fuck, Phil?" I blurted.

        He set his laptop on his bed seriously, never taking his stupid piercing blue eyes off of me. They weren't like a sea of happiness anymore; they had turned cold and harsh. Like the ocean in winter.

        "Don't curse at me, Dan," He warned under his breath.

        I just stood there, thoughts swirling like a tornado. What the hell happened? Why was he so mad? What did you fuck up this time, Daniel?

        My face must have portayed my thoughts, seeing as I had never been good at hiding my emotions anyway. Phil sighed, "Dan, don't you remember last night?"

        Last night? I thought for a minute. Oh. That's right. It all came back to me now like a tidal wave, fucking drowning me. 2 am shouting matches in each others faces, throwing the webcam at him out of rage and shattering it, along with a tile on the floor, and Phil kicking me out of his room for the night.

        "I... I..." I started, knowing full well I had nothing else to say but "sorry". But a million sorries could never make any of this up to him, could they? Absolutely not. Who even are you, Dan? "I'm sorry," I said anyway, half expecting him to ask me to repeat myself because I mumble and he's a freaking deaf person.

        He jolted off the bed and briefly hesitated before grasping me in a tight hug. I was stunned for about half a second before I actually had half the mind to hug back.

        "I love you," I breathed lightly into his hair, not even realizing the words falling out of my mouth.

        I didn't get a reply though. Instead, I got tears tumbling down my shoulders that weren't mine. I took him by the shoulders gently and made him face me. "Philly?" My voice cracked from looking into those electric blue eyes I knew so well filled to the brim with tears.