Perfect Illusions (Drastoria)

Chapter Nine - Letter

Chapter Nine: Letter

I drove down the deserted back roads in my car; a gracious engagement present from Draco's family, trying to find Oak Branch cemetery.

Finally I passed it on accident, then turned around and pulled in. There couldn't be more than 100 graves in the whole yard, and it didn't take me long to find whose I was looking for.

There was one double-wide headstone. One side read: "Flora Charlotte Carrow: 1982-1998. Who, in her sixteen years, had love for her family and friends that surpassed many." The other side read: "Hestia Rose Carrow: 1982-1998. Who, in her final hour, spoke out in love." Then at the bottom, across the headstone read, "They were always together during their time on earth. And they will live on, still together, now only in our hearts and in our memories."

I grasped the string to the balloon I was holding for dear life. I knew it was childish, but I'd done it at April's grave since I was a girl.

At the bottom of my balloon hung a letter for Flora and Hestia that I'd tied on. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths to keep from crying. Then I let the string go, tears falling from my eyes anyway. Over two years after their deaths, I still thought of them every day. I sent my thoughts and love to them every day, and by the time I went to bed I had wished them well up there.

But it was ten times harder in writing.

I had been home alone when I wrote the letter. It probably wasn't a smart idea to be alone, but I was.

I sat down on my bed with some parchment and an ink pen.

Dear girls,

The tears were welling up in my eyes already.

I miss you both terribly. Not a day goes by that I haven't thought about you. But I think it's time that I let you know exactly how I'm doing. It hasn't been easy, these past couple years. I think you should know all of who survived the battle out of our friends. Draco, Blaise Zabini (who has become a dear friend to me over the past two years,) Pansy Parkinson, and Greg Goyle. Vincent Crabbe didn't make it. I got back into quidditch to keep my grades up (long story) and I was offered a job with the Jets, in London, as a chaser. I accepted. About a week after I came home from my last year, Draco proposed. We're getting married in September. Your mother and father are doing alright. They're still missing you horribly, I don't believe for a second they'll ever stop, but they're better. Daphne and my mother are doing alright too. Now comes the hard part.

Flora Charlotte,

I can't even put into words how much I miss you. I remember clearly the day we met. You introduced yourself and told me you were also a first-year. That made me feel better; knowing that I had someone to relate to. After April was gone, I felt I had no one. Thank you so much for showing me that I wasn't alone. That I could still make a friend. We went through school together I knew I couldn't get on the same without you. And I haven't. I miss you like mad. Sometimes I get so mad, knowing you're not here. I just want to crawl in my bed, pull up the covers and cry forever. But I don't. And I know it's you who gave me that strength. You are the strongest person I know. You'd stand up for what you believed in and wouldn't back down for anyone.

I love you very much, Flora. And I miss you more than any word or action could explain.

Hestia Rose,

You always knew when something was wrong with me. You knew, and you would ask me about it. And I would tell you. It was easier to talk to you than anyone else, even Draco. You would cry when I cried, and you would give me advice. And I would take that advice. It helped me get through another day when I felt like I couldn't. There's been so many times I've picked up the phone to call you when something was in my mind, and then realized you're not here anymore. You are the most compassionate person I know. You were the one I leaned upon when I needed you, and you were wise far beyond your years.

I love you, Hestia, so much. I still miss your laugh and your smile so much, it hurts.

I know you both probably would want to know how I am.

I suppose I'm alright. I still miss you more than anything. But every day goes by, and I realize that even though I have a huge reason to be sad, I also have a reason to be happy. I'm engaged, to an amazing person. I have a family who loves me. And I have had the privilege of meeting you two. I love you and miss you both more than you'll ever know.

Love, Astoria

I stared at the paper for a few seconds, my face already puffy from the tears I had already cried. How could they be gone? Even after all this time, I still couldn't find it possible that they were dead. Dead!

I turned over on my bed, curled up into a ball, and wailed. I'm sure I sounded like I was physically injured. I didn't care. The pain in my heart was greater than any injury I could have received. And now I was standing directly in between the two caskets, feet underground, feeling as alone as ever.