Butterfly (clarke/you/Lexa)

The Journal

Hey guys, I hope your Still enjoying the book! I'm sorry for the late of updates. I don't have a schedule of when I publish or anything.

Does Y/n finally crack?
I love you all, bye!
Onto the the story!
warning!!
Cutting!

-------------------------------------------------------------

A little over a week since Y/n saw Queen Nia and the two Mountain Men

Lexa's POV

I've been paying more attention to Y/n lately, all she does is sit down and hold that Journal of hers, always looking like she's debating something. We can all see she's about to crack, I don't know if we still continue being patient or finally force it out of her, or maybe get ahold of that notebook.

I am brought out of my thoughts when I feel movement next to me, I look over to see Clarke and the rest of our friends, Raven, O, Bellamy, Luke, Marie and Derek coming into the tent.

"We gotta help Y/n, look for anything that could be wrong." Raven says as the looks around the room, Bellamy looks at Raven in disbelief.

"Are you sure about this guys? She could be perfectly fine," Bellamy says looking around in disbelief, luke glares at him.

"Yes I'm fucking sure! That's my twin sister!" Luke exclaims angrily, glaring at Bellamy as he speaks, "I can tell something is going on, and it's VERY bad."

We nod our head in understanding, then we start forming a plan. We plan that once she's alseep tonight, we sneak in and grab the journal off her desk, this is wrong but this is the only way we know how to help her.

After a few hours its finally dark and Y/n went to her tent for the night, we all agreed I go with clarke so we slowly make our way into the tent and  look towards the bed that has a sleeping Y/n with dried tear marks on her pale cheeks, our hearts break at the sight.

I turn my head around the tent and stop at her tent that has the journal laying on top of it, we swiftly grab it and leave the tent quickly.

We all meet up at the meeting tent, we've been in here for 45 minutes since clarke and I got the journal, just staring at it. I do believe we're all thinking of the guilt we're gonna face and already have for taking it.

Raven sighs, "who's gonna read it?" she asks, her gaze not leaving the torn up journal on the table.

"I'll do it," I say as I reach for it, once I have it in my hands, I slowly open it. On the first page, we see what I think is a room in the Ark, the lost boys gasp at this, there's body on the floor and people in the bleachers, cheering and people who are guards of the sky crew with devilish grins on their faces.

"I...it's the pit..."  Marie says, her voice cracking and takes a deep breathe.

I swiftly turn the page keeping in mind the other lostboys are also still looking, on the second page there's Marie, Derek and Luke fighting in the pit, Derek gasps and rushes to Marie and hugs her tightly.

I slowly turn pages of the notebook seeing the drawings she drew of the pit, I stop once I see beautiful landscape, I smile at the sight, this is when she first camp to the ground, its the beautiful waterfall that's close by.

"She has some talent." Clarke says smiling, admiring the picture infront of us, we nod in agreement.

I turn along few more pages to see other landscapes, animals, people we know and campfires, I stop once again when I see a drawing of Clarke and I seeing, Blush and smiles creep onto Clarke's and I's faces.

We turn a few more pages, some of me, some of clarke, also of the other lostboys.

I stop for the third time once we see a picture of the mountain, I let out a shaking breath.

I turn the next page and what I saw brought tears to my eyes, it's a drawing of her standing at the doorway of the mountain bloody as clarke and I are walking away.

I turn the page once again, it's a drawing of all the faces she seen at Mount weather, kids, men, women.

I turn a few more pages to find letters of days she send on her own, cutting, scared, alone, not eating, too late nightmares, needing Clarke and I, needing the lostboys, this makes all the tears flow down my cheeks.

I slowly turn the next page to find a conversation she recorded.....2 mountain men, and Queen Nia.

how do we know when we find the person who pulled the trigger?"

"The president said He knows that she looks like"

"queen Nia says we make a move 2 weeks time."

"she'll pay for what she's done"

My eyes widen once I see queen Nia walk up to the two mountain men, they still have an alliance!? Shit!

( queen nia is underline when she speaks)

"Hello boys."

Once I see them now I roll my eyes, I have my bow, will it be bad if I shoot her? Probably.

"we can get to Y/n by hurting the People she loves, we all know her love for her precious lost boys. We kill them all if she refuses or her precious lovers refuse to hand her over."

We gasp and I hear sobs ring from behind me, I turn the next page to find letter asking herself if she should turn herself in to keep us safe, saying she'll do anything to keep us safe.

I close the journal and wipe my tears, I wait for someone to speak up, to breathe the silent.

"We aren't gonna let her turn herself in, are we?" Raven asks as her eyes are puffy and red and tears roll down her cheeks.

"I-No!" Clarke says, clearly lost for words, she looks around thinking about something.

"Who's going to go check on her?" I ask look around, Clarke looks up at me and then back around at everyone else.

"Maybe, You and Clarke. You two can easily calm her, plus the faster clarke gets her cuts checked out the better." Luke says as He holds Marie close, battling tears.

Clarke and I quietly exit the tent and make our way to the little tent in the distance, once we reach the tent we enter to see the smaller brunette sitting on her bed, hugging her knees.

"So, I take it you know everything?"