Have you ever seen a Marshan post decapitation? Me either. And I came way too close for my own liking. Guess that's what I get for having lack of meditation when my soul needs resting...
I know the last time I wrote you, things were sounding like they finally were making a change in the right direction. Truthfully, I was feeling like I'll be seeing the gates of my personal heaven. Only to take a few steps forward to witness the mirage fade and realize I'm stranded on a planet full of ice and low vibrations. A tundra of sorts, might be on Neptune or Pluto. There's no warmth, or signs of green life. Absolutely, not a place for a Marshan. The air here reeks from the stench of flat lines and frozen hearts. Am I stuck in the under world? If so, Hades and I need to have an eye to eye. Figure something out before this is where I.. Nah I won't even speak that into existence. But for this instance; I'll be here until I can gain control of this chaotic situation.
So I gotta be honest and give it to you straight. Before I was trapped in this place I didn't give myself, or you, the time to explain what has happened in order to get to this state. Not the Physical, but the mental and spiritual estates. You remember I mentioned having issues with anxiety attacks that prevented me from seeing the sparkles in your eyes? Well, that was a half-assed lie. Truth be told, I'm not that shy or nice of a guy. I'm still respectful, which is something I can't hide. And I'm loyal to my bros and won't step on toes if they express feelings for a woman to be their betrothed. I mean that's the code. And I've been lied to by women who weren't legally that old. I'm not a creep. So don't confuse my confessions for weapons of a broken damn. Even with my souls role, they put me in the body of a man. I'm not perfect, but when it comes to my crafts; I'll always have fans. That comes with a price. I'm sure you understand due to the way you built your name that shines its own light. I'm afraid of being used the same way I've seen my mother did tools. I won't lie, I too picked up her habits of abuse. So I cleared the air and paid my dues. I'm no fool, karma took notes and is just waiting for the just excuse.
I realized I even gave Hades the wrong clues. I put him on game and I was too toxic to explain. We can't make the same mistakes of those before us. Hell, I'll even understand if my absence is why you hung it up. I can't call you everyday as I wish I could cause I know I'm being stalked for good. But I got peace, knowing our messages are safe to keep. So expect a few letters over the unseen seas. I always feel at ease, when I write letters to my Queen...
