Can't Let Go - An SVU fic

Chapter 3

"What the hell was I thinking? Did I really just tell Nick that I'm pregnant?"She wondered as she made her way home after leaving Nick's place.

...

"How long have you known?"

"A few days - I was late and decided to take a test"

"What did the doctor say? How far..."

"Three weeks"

Nick dragged his hand down his face, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"A baby!"

"You're happy about this; right?"

"I don't know what I feel - it's all so... I mean I thought you were on the pill"

"I was... accidents happen" she reminded him as he sighed, hanging his head in his hands.

...

"He thinks he's going to be a father - how the hell am I gonna pull that off?" she asked herself out loud, knowing that she really messed up this time. "What's gonna happen in a few months when I should be showing?" but she just as quickly decided that she didn't care. Even though Nick was shocked, she knew that he would do the right thing once it all sank in and once he did, that would give her time - at least three months to make him love her and then once he did... well she'd work out those details when the time came but for now, she needed to work on convincing Nick to stay with her - not that he'd need much convincing.

"He's a good man, no worries!" she assured herself as she took a look in her rearview mirror at the huge bruise that covered one side of her face where she'd fallen onto the coffee table. "Totally worth looking like a DV victim!" she shrugged and continued driving.

...

At work she had to deal with stares and unasked questions from everyone who saw her face. Finally, after a couple hours, it was Olivia who decided to ask about it and called her into her office.

"Close the door please" Olivia instructed. Rollins did as she was asked before coming to stand in front of her superior.

"Somethin wrong Sarge?" Amanda asked innocently

"I can't help but be concerned about the cut and bruise on your face"

"Oh, that."

"Yeah, that" Olivia said as she took a seat on the edge of her desk. "What happened?"

"I fell." Amanda said blankly, quietly and not giving further explanation.

"That's it, you fell?" Olivia asked disbelievingly. "And the bruises to your wrists? You "fall" and get those too?"

"Liv, it's not what you think"

"Then please enlighten me; you've been moody, unfocused and secretive for months and today you walk in here looking like this. Do I need to pay someone a visit?"

"What? No, it's nothing, I promise... look, he didn't mean it, okay?" she could see the anger in Liv's eyes

"So someone did do this to you?"

"Liv"

"Amanda, I'm concerned. You oughta consider yourself lucky that it's me and not Fin asking or this would have escalated quickly. Are you in trouble?"

"No, I swear; it was just an accident... do you think I'd be so bold to walk into work looking like this if someone were beating me?"

"I guess you have a point."

"I do appreciate the concern, but I'm fine so stop worrying" Amanda assured her CO before getting up to leave."Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I... well it's kind of a personal question."

"How personal?"

'It's... I've noticed the way Nick..."

"The way Nick what?"

Amanda knew that she shouldn't be asking such a thing but right now, she wasn't thinking clearly.

"The way he looks at you, like he's... interested"

"What, Nick? No, that's..." Olivia was at a loss for words

"I thought you'd be flattered, he's a great catch"

"And a friend and I happen to be his boss"

"So even if he were interested?"

"It would never happen, now are we done talking about this because we have a ton of work to get to." Olivia said, ending the conversation.

"Yep, all done boss!" Amanda smiled as she walked out of Liv's office, even though it hurt her face to do so but still she was happy, Olivia wasn't the reason that Nick wanted to leave, she wasn't a threat. There was no reason for Amanda to be jealous or concerned - at least not where her sergeant was concerned.

...

"Thank god!" she whispered to herself "This could've gone left real fast" she said as she again busied herself with her paperwork and thinking that this would be much easier than she thought.