Lady of the Bronx- Newsies

Chapter Eighteen

Pov: Bambina

The food was disappointing and bitter, just like I am now. 

The conversation I just had repeats in my head as I run up the stairs.

"We just can't have ya causing a scene..." Quinn said.

"Causing a scene? Really? I was helping a person up off the ground!" I snapped, at this point of time, the three of us had been arguing for a good amount of time. 

"Hey, hey Deer we'se know. Okay? We'se do." Pete said, trying to calm me down.

"Then why are you making me stay here? I need to work, you know that! It's not like I can afford to-"

"Yes. You can." Quinn said, taking a step towards me. "The money you'se been saving fa Italy...."

I felt a wave of hurt wash over me. They knew how important saving up to me is. "My boat money? Guys....Are you, are you serious?" I asked, feeling my heart drop.

"Wells, yes." Quinn said bluntly.

"No! Guys, what, no! You know how long I've been saving up! I don't touch that money. I would rather go hungry than use it- I have gone hungry to avoid using my savings! I can't believe you would think that's a reasonable thing to say!" I said in Italian, on the verge of sobbing.

Pete looked at me, a worried look on his face. "Deer, if da other bois find out about us, about you'se bein a goill, our borough-"

"I have done so much to avoid others finding out! But, frankly Pete, it disgusts me that that's your first thought. Of course I don't want to ruin the Bronx's reputation! But if people find out I'm a girl? I'll be off to the orphanage! Do you guys not see that?"

"Of course we'se do. But Deer, think 'bout us." Quinn said.

"Think about you? Pensi a te? That's all I do! I tuck Danny and Hector in at night for them. I wear boy clothes all the time for me, sure, but for you guys too! In my five years living in the Bronx, I've only just made a friend who's a girl! All because you and Pete told me it would be best to avoid talking to non-newsies! For goodness sake!- I haven't even told any of you my birthday so you won't have to spend extra money on me! Think about you? Can you please think about me for once!" I yelled.

"We'sa think about you all the time, Deer! We'se care for you! That'a why we'se want ya takin a week off! Lay low for a bit. We'se didn't have to help ya like this! Most newsies would never even think about letting a goil in der group! Life woulda been so much easier if we'se-'' Pete stopped, releasing what he was saying. A look of horror spreading on his face.

I felt my heart shatter. "If you left me on the streets all those years ago? If you never let me become a newsie?" I questioned.

"Deer, ya know he didn't mean dat." Quinn said, sounding frantic, his usual calm and collected appearance not in sight. 

"Then why did he say it?" It was meant to sound rough, but I just sounded hurt.

"Deer, I'se sorry, I'se didn't know what I-"

"No, Pete. You knew what you were saying."

I feel more tears well in my eyes, why would he say that? Why would Pete and Quinn say any of that?

Maybe I was wrong to ask them to think about me for once- screw it, I was wrong.

But what they were asking me? To not sell papes for a week? To use my money for Italy? Not to mention saying they didn't need to take me in. That, and that the Bronx's reputation is more important than me getting thrown into an orphanage.