t/w: confused thoughts ; self degrading
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how do i know if someone is proud of me ?
i try to imagine how it would feel like to make you proud, to be able to give you new that you wouldn't find some fault in .
criticism .
but that is something else, is it not ?
i bring a good score home and i am interrogated by where i went wrong .
"right your wrongs," you say, "and do not make mistakes."
it is now my mind set .
anything less than perfect is not good enough .
and i want to blame her .
i want to scream at how she sets high standards .
i hate those expectations .
i hate her Prodigy .
Prodigy .
it is now my least favorite word .
i should not say this as it sounds demotivating, but the older children are meant to be examples for the young ones .
not vice versa .
her Prodigy makes that all so confusing .
i only get one question in my head :
"when will you be proud of me ?"
YOU ARE READING
the lives we wished we had | misc. | rant book
De Todoa rant book | misc. keep trying and trying and trying and trying. that's it. you dont get anything. you just try. - t/w: will be mentioned at beginnings of chapters
