Boyfriend For Sale // CASTLE J X WIN

She

The clock adorned on the wall ticks, second by second the hand moves, reminding me that every moment is a moment in which Junhyuk could be in a situation of danger. It's been two days since we first discovered that he went missing, and shortly after Seungmin's visit, we went to the police station to file a missing person's report, and let's just say, these two days might have been the most dreadful and grey moments I have ever experienced in my entire life.

My sleeping pattern was scattered, still is scattered, as I would wake up at ungodly hours in the morning only to be incapable of falling back asleep. My mind would be blank during slumber, surprisingly no dreams or nightmares occupying the empty space, while I simply drift in and out of sleep. At times I even went to the kitchen to get myself a drink, sometimes 'mistaking' a cup of water for a shot of the strongest soju in my collection.

During the day, I wouldn't leave my house, disregarding my courses that I've created a habit to not go to anyways, but unlike then, though I wouldn't push myself to go outside, I paid little to no attention to my exterior appearance.
My hair would be tangled, sticking in every which way, while the whites of my eyes were a light shade of red with noticeable eye bags complimenting them. Clothes that were never changed between the rising of the sun and the beginning of the night. Last, but not least, an overemphasized five o'clock shadow is in the midst of growing on the barrier line of the end of my chin and the start of my neck.

As I stare into the bumps of the popcorn texture embellishing the wall, it's high above the seat I was occupying on the sofa in the living room. This piece of furniture once was a popular space used by Junhyuk.

Fresh memories commence to take over my mind, painting themselves out like scenes in a movie, it's all my body can seem to do after all. Tears coat my fatigued eyes, I can almost hear the rhythm of his sly chuckle fill the silent room.

I should've told him, I should've told him every second of the day about how much I cherished him and adored the feeling of his presence in my life. How much he's appreciated and loved.
How much he's needed.

Fists now clenched so hard that I can feel the points of my fingernails dig deep into the top layer of skin that my palms were wearing. Drops of blood splatter the fabric of the sofa cushions, if this hurts, imagine how much pain Junhyuk could be in. I can't do anything, I am hopelessly moping in the embrace of darkness inhabiting the home while he could be anywhere, maybe I'm just a piece of shit who doesn't deserve love, it was too good to be true, wasn't it?

Water rolls down the edge of my face and the heavy quietness is getting filled with my useless cries. I clench the clothes near my heart, holding it in pain, for a part of it is missing and here I am, laying down and sobbing like a child. Grabbing a section of my hair, I utter profanities in between every sharp inhale that my lungs could even have the possibility of taking in.

My phone waiting on the side table suddenly lights up, I rapidly lurch myself up in a sitting position and rush towards the device emitting brightness. For every notification I get comes the possibility that somebody out there found Junhyuk.

Fumbling the piece of technology between my hands, I manage to read the message written beside the numerous other notifications I received from other people pretending to care.

"Seongjun are you okay? You haven't been showing up to your classes. I know it's hard, I understand that. I'm here for you, I always will be and you should know that by now. Knowing you, you probably haven't eaten or showered and I won't judge, it's difficult I get it, but take care of yourself. That's a demand.

Seungmin."

While finishing reading the message out loud, my limbs start to feel heavy, Seungmin must be so worried. I can't bear to respond to his messages, I'm so weak right now and I can't be somebody who is worth anyone's pity.