Heartless and Disorientated

untitled part

I wish you knew this, but I'll always be too disassociated from myself to show you, to tell you, unless its just bits and pieces whispered in response to a statement that escapes before I can thoroughly think about what comes out of my mouth. 

I just want to find a way to tell you "I wish you were here but not here, I wish we were together but not in this house, in our own in the life of our choosing. I wish we were together so that I could hold you in my arms while I stare at you instead of staring at my ceiling all alone."