Haikyuu Imagines, Headcanons, & Drabbles

When - tsukishima

genre: light angst
warnings: a swear word or two
word count: 1209

Nights like tonight were beginning to happen far too frequently. Curled up alone in my bed, I nursed a ruined heart – trying to pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with Tsukishima Kei.

Realizing I wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon, I sighed and reached for my phone. I pulled up my camera roll, scrolling to the bottom, hoping I could find something to keep my thoughts from spiraling. In the back my mind a gleam of hope sparked – my camera roll was full of Kei, Tadashi, and me. Maybe a picture would tell me the hour, day, or even just the week Kei became more than a friend to me. If there was any chance of me getting over this crush – I had to know when and why.

A photo enlarged with an accidental touch, the faces catching my attention before I could close it. I smiled slightly at the photo of Akiteru, Kei and I in their backyard, probably taken by their mom without the three of us noticing. In middle school I was always at their house, and some nights Akiteru would pass a volleyball around with his brother and me. We would spend hours in their backyard, Kei would get mad at me for not taking it seriously enough, I would start to complain, and Akiteru would laugh. I scoffed – it was the other way around with Kei now. I gazed at the picture a while longer, reminiscing, but my heart knew this was not when my crush developed. In my younger self's eyes, Kei was my best friend and would remain only that for years yet.

I rolled over on my bed, pulling the blanket tighter around me and continued to swipe through. I found another one from middle school and couldn't help but giggle quietly. Tadashi and I stood on either side of Kei on what must have been the first day of a new school year. Two massive grins split our faces while Kei stood stoically between us, already a foot taller than either of us. This picture took ages to take, either Tadashi or I would do something to make the other laugh and Kei would scold us.

I knew that annoyed look, he was probably regretting introducing us. The day Kei introduced Tadashi and I we clicked instantly much to his annoyance. I had been sick for a few days and came bounding back into school, excited to see my best friend again. He was waiting for me in our usual spot, but unlike all the times before a dark-haired boy with a splash of freckles stood next to him.

Looking back on it now, Kei had made it sound like he saved Tadashi unintentionally, but I knew better – he could be soft-hearted at times he only showed it differently.

Still too early. I started to scroll again but shook my head with a smirk and backtracked. Pressing the share button, I sent the photo to the group text – knowing Kei would roll his eyes but Tadashi would find the same humor in it as I did.

Resuming my search, I reached a group of videos. I opened the first one and as soon as it began to play, I knew what they were. For as long as I could remember Kei and I had walked home from school together, and the tradition continued even after Tadashi joined our little friend group and throughout their volleyball season. The nights were late, but I had my own club meetings after school and we would meet up afterwards.

I bit back a smile as Tadashi's laughter filtered through the speakers. After some convincing, Tadashi had joined in on my plot to film the two of us pranking Kei and his response. The camera panned to my laughing face and the realization hit me – that look in my eyes, this wasn't it either. I moved onto the second video when my messages pinged.

I grinned, closing the chat as they began to argue back and forth. Before I could dive back into my photos, Kei messaged me separately from the group chat.

My heart sunk as his message appeared on my screen. These meetups were becoming a problem – they were happening more and more often, but I could never say no to him. How the hell was I supposed to get over this stupid crush?

But what hurt could one more do? Before I could stop myself, I responded 'okay,' and crawled out of bed to change into something more appropriate for going outside. Shoving my feet into some shoes, I shuffled out the door while typing out a text to a parent. They were asleep by now, but just in case they woke up and realized I was gone. I dashed across the street towards the bench I knew Kei would be seated at by now. The park had changed over the years, but our park bench was still in the same place – it was still the same park I met Kei at for the first time.

I spotted him easily as I drew closer, his blond hair shining almost white in the glow from his phone. His eyes glanced up to meet mine and he nodded at the empty space next to him. As I sat, he wordlessly held out an earbud for me and not even the cold bite of metal could overwhelm the sparks I felt from the brush of our fingertips. I kicked myself – what was I doing here. Getting over him was going so well.

What could one more hurt, my ass. Shit, what was I thinking?

He waited until I had the bud tucked into my ear before pressing play. I leaned back against the bench, attempting shove the boy sitting next to me out of my head as the first notes began to drift through my head. I let my eyes drift shut, the cool night air drifting over my skin. The beat reverberated inside my head and I smiled – as usual he had an excellent taste in music. I let out a soft sigh, these were my favorite moments – the nights in the park – the moments we stole for ourselves. We didn't have to speak to appreciate the music or to understand each other. We just did. We just were.

The song ended, tugging me back to reality, and my eyes wandered instinctively to the presence next to me. His face was slanted towards the stars, his features bathed in an ethereal light, and the brown eyes I adored so much were closed. The sereneness of this moment, the peacefulness painted on his face, it sucked the air from my lungs, and I couldn't seem to catch my breath. The quote 'take a picture it will last longer' ran through my head, and in that moment I would have sold my soul for a camera. I wanted to remember this – him – forever.

When did I fall in love with you, Kei?

His eyes fluttered open and my heart leapt into my throat, wondering if I spoke out loud. He pressed play on another song, and I relaxed – I would worry about getting over him tomorrow. For tonight I could be content. Tilting my head up to the sky, I smiled softly – maybe it wasn't a specific moment.

Maybe it was just every moment and every day in between.