STARGAZING (ENG)

Chapter 3 - The Bonfire

It's been almost a month, but it felt like a year to Katya. Waking up early every day, going fishing with Trixie, taking care of the pigs with Donna. It was an exhausting routine. She missed sleeping in her own bed, waking up late and texting her friends. Although she was really tired, things were actually better than she expected. She and Trixie weren't fighting, at least not as much as before. They were certainly not friends,  but they were starting to get along. One morning, they were fishing and Trixie seemed really anxious about something, Katya noticed.

''Are you alright?''
''Yeah, I guess...''  Trixie said, looking distracted.
''You seem bothered.''
''I am just...thinking about tonight.''
''What's tonight?''
''Our annual bonfire. Some friends of my grandparents come for a celebration about some historical thing that happened here, I never quite understood what it was...''
''You don't like it?''
''I do, it's just...There is this friend of them who has a grandson...they want me to marry him.''
''Marry him? You just turned 18!''
''I know! And I want to do something with my life before I get married, I wanna go to college, I wanna have a job, and...I don't really like him.''
''Well, seems like you have enough reasons not to marry this guy. Why don't you just tell your grandparents that?''
''I don't wanna let them down. They raised me, they've done so much for me, and I know this is something that would make them very happy.''
Katya turned to face Trixie on the deck, and the other girl did the same. Trixie was teary eyed, and that image was making Katya upset for some reason.
''What about your happiness, Trixie?''
'I...'' She surrendered to the tears.

Katya wasn't very good with emotions, and she wasn't the biggest fan of Trixie either, but she knew that the girl needed comfort right now, so she leaned over and gave her a hug, that caught Trixie by surprise.

''Look at you, being nice to me!'' Trixie laughed trough her tears.
''Don't get used to it!'' Katya laughed as well.
Trixie held her tight.
''I don't know what to do. They keep saying he's going to propose to me tonight, I'm so scared, Katya.''
Katya leaned back from the hug to face Trixie.
''I think you know what you have to do. Listen, Your grandparents love you no matter what. They want to see you be happy. Don't you think it would hurt them to know their granddaughter is marrying someone she doesn't even love?''

Trixie remained anxious. She seemed like she was fine with the decision of turning the guy down, but there was something else she wasn't telling Katya.

''Katya...do you...nevermind.''
''Do I what?''
''I'm sorry, we need to go back.'' Trixie said, standing up and walking away.
''Girl, wait up!'' Katya went after her. ''What's going on?''
''Nothing. You wouldn't understand anyways.''
''Boy drama? I think I understand it pretty well.''
''No, it's not about that! Katya I...I'm gay!''

Katya froze. She was expecting Trixie to say many things, and coming out to her was definitely not one of  them. Katya didn't mind the girl was gay, it actually gave her a strange feeling of joy, and she couldn't tell why. Despite not having negative feelings towards the reveal she was faced up with, Katya was speechless, and that did not make Trixie very happy.
''I told you, you wouldn't understand.'' Trixie cried.
''Trixie, wait...''

Trixie hopped up on Barbara and rode away, leaving Katya behind without even thinking about it. She had never said out loud that she was gay, even though she knew about it since she was 14. Her tears were drying as they ran through her suntanned cheeks, while she rode home. When she arrived at the farm, Trixie took Barbara to the stable, and went straight to her room. All she could do was cry, and cry, and cry. She felt like an idiot for telling a girl she barely knew about her sexuality, even though she has been dying to tell someone for years. It was really suffocating for Trixie to keep this secret, especially living in such a conservative environment. She didn't know her grandparents' thoughts on homosexuality, but was too scared to ask. There's nothing that scared Trixie more than the thought of disappointing her grandparents, who raised her from a very early age. There were so many things going through Trixie's mind that eventually, her mind got exhausted and she fell asleep without even noticing. Trixie woke up by noon, with a headache resulted from all the crying she did before. Her mind was foggy for a second, and then she remembered: Katya. She completely forgot about the girl she left behind by the lake. She quickly stood up from her bed and rushed to the living room, where Donna was sitting on the couch near a very sweaty, pale, filthy, sunburned and angry Katya.