STARGAZING (ENG)

Chapter 9 - Love or Nothing at All

It was so good to finally be able to moan out loud. Katya had her back pressed against the cold tile wall, her hips projected forward, and between her legs there was a blonde girl, thirsty for her.

''Baby, I'm gonna...oh my...God.''

Trixie held Katya's waist so she wouldn't fall on the floor. Her legs were shaking from the wave of pleasure that had just run through her body. Trixie stood up from her knees and gave her girlfriend a hot, wet, passionate kiss. Suddenly, Katya turned Trixie around and pushed her head down, bending her. She ran her hands around the girl's ass, giving it a moderately strong slap, that made Trixie release an involuntary moan. Katya's fingers slid inside her girlfriend, moving back and forth. She enjoyed every second of it, feeling the water run down her hair as she moved inside of Trixie, making the girl quickly come. Trixie turned to face Katya and placed delicate kisses on her neck, collarbones and climbing up to her lips.
The girls finished their shower, put on comfortable clothes and ordered Japanese food. The rest of the evening was peaceful and quiet.

xxx

The next morning was full of meetings with lawyers and paper signings. Katya was the most disinterested person in the world when it came to business. Some may say it's because she's just a teenager, but in reality, Katya was disinterested about everything in general. After the exhausting morning, Trixie, Katya, pat, Donna and George went back to the house to have lunch while the lawyers handled the Paul situation. Lunch time was quiet, mostly because of how tired everyone was, but also,  there was still an awkwardness due to the fact that George was still not accepting of Trixie and Katya's relationship. The silence was abruptly interrupted by Pat's phone ringing. She left the table to take the call and came back almost fifteen minutes later, looking disappointed.

''So, it was one of our lawyers, Carl. Basically Paul barely let him talk and refused every possible deal we could make with him.''
''And now what? We can't put Trixie through that public humiliation...'' Donna said, angrily.
''I'll do it.'' Trixie said, staring at the empty plate.
''What? Are you out of your mind? No way!'' George said.
''It's not your decision. I'm gonna let you lose your farm because of me when I'm not even living there anymore. It's just not worth it, and not fair. I'll just say what I have to say and get this over with.''
''But baby, he was going to...'' Katya said.
''I know. He's a monster. And I wish there was another way to solve this, but there isn't. They just won't listen to us.''
''Trixie, we're not losing the farm because of you. It's because of him. You didn't do anything.'' Donna held Trixie's shoulders.
''Grandma, please. Just let me do this. I'm leaving for college in a month, I won't be able to help you once I'm gone. Please, just...I can't live with myself knowing I could've helped you out but I didn't. I know it's not the best option, but it's the one that we have.''

Everyone in the room look at each other, worried, sad, angry. But they knew Trixie was right. Later on, in the afternoon, they called a popular local newspaper from where the farms were located, for Trixie to give her statement.

''My name is Beatrice Mattel, I'm 18 years old, and earlier this summer, I told my grandparents that I had been sexually assaulted by Paul Michael's grandson, Harry M...'' Trixie couldn't finish saying his name. The tears rolled nonstop through her cheeks.
''Tell the truth, Beatrice.'' George said, looking out the window.
''What...''
''I don't care what happens. Tell them the truth. It's an order.''

Trixie hesitated, but the other three women in the room encouraged her with smiles. Trixie returned to the phone call and continued speaking.

''...And I was not lying. Harry Michaels tried to rape me on The Bonfire night, at my grandparents' farm.  If my...friend, Katya, hadn't showed up, he would've followed through with his actions. Paul Michaels is a manipulative liar, who made me give a false statement that I made up the sexual assault that his grandson committed, or else he would bankrupt my grandparents' farm's business. I have no reason to make up such traumatic experience, and I will not be silenced by two disgusting men who can't own their actions. That's all I have to say.''

Trixie ended the phone call and took a deep breath. She had finally talked about it, released all of her anger towards that entire situation. Katya walked towards where Trixie was sitting and gave her a tight hug.

''You were so brave, my love. I'm so proud of you.''
''Thank you, baby.'' Trixie said, letting her tears stream down her face, with relief.
''Well, it's done. Now all we can do is wait. Donna, we should get going, our flight is in 2 hours.'' George said, walking towards the door.
''I'll drive you two to the airport. Trixie, congratulations, honey. You were really brave.'' Pat said, gently squeezing Trixie's hand.
''We'll keep in touch, sweetheart. You are the bravest person I know. I love you to the moon and back.'' Donna said, kissing Trixie's forehead.
''I love you grandma. Please let me know how things go...I'm really worried...''
''Don't be, sweetie. We'll take care of everything from now on. Just rest, and enjoy the rest of your summer. Bye Katya, have a great summer, darling!''
''Thanks, Donna. Have a nice trip.''

xxx

Trixie's statement was given on a Tuesday, to be published on Friday. When the day of the publishing came, her anxiety was at its peak. Every time her phone rang, she answered with high expectations of being Donna. Around 8 P.M., Katya came rushing into the living room where Trixie was talking to Pat about the possible outcomes.

''Trix, has your grandma called?''
''Not yet, baby. Why?''
''Paul was arrested. So was Harry. It's everywhere in the media, look.'' Katya showed Trixie and Pat her phone, with the news.
''Sexual harassment and abuse...why am I not surprised?'' Pat said.
''Wait, so...this means that...''
''It's over, Trix. This fucking nightmare is over!''
''Oh my God!'' Trixie was crying with happiness and relief. ''I have to call my gr...'' she was interrupted by her phone ringing; It was Donna. ''Hi grandma!...Yes, Katya told me...Are you guys okay?...Oh, I'm so happy this is over...Yeah, they had it coming...Okay, I love you too.''
''It's over, girls.'' Pat gave Trixie and Katya a motherly group hug.
''Peace, at last!''
''Girl's, I'll have to attend this meeting with one of the lawyers right now, I'll be back in two hours, okay?''
''Okay, bye mom.''

When Pat left, Katya turned to face Trixie with a devilish smirk.

''We have the house to ourselves for two hours...how about we go upstairs and get naked?''
''Oh my God, I wish, but I'm in so much pain right now.'' Trixie said, wrapping her arms around her stomach.
''Are you okay?''
''Yeah, it's just cramps. I'll be fine.'' Trixie paused for a while. ''Honey...I hadn't notice until now, ever since we met I haven't seen you get your period.''
''Hum...I didn't notice that...''
''You didn't notice you weren't getting your period? For two months?!''
''I...'' Katya tried to defend herself but Trixie interrupted her.
''You need to keep track of it! It's a matter of health!''

Katya smiled awkwardly. She knew Trixie was right, but she was just too lazy.

''Katya...when was the last time you and Eddie had sex?'' Trixie seemed worried.
''On the day he dumped me. We did behind the chapel.''
''Ew, gross. Did you use protection?''
''We never did, Eddie didn't like it.''
''KATYA! Are you insane? You need to go to a doctor. Like, now.''
''Oh, no. I hate doctors. Plus, I'm fine, I'm...''
''You could be pregnant!''

Katya seemed like she had forgotten how to breathe. She stared at Trixie with her eyes wide open, her mind empty.

''That's impossible. No. No way. I'm not...Trixie, stop saying bullshit.''
''I am worried about you! You have to go to a doctor. You know I'm right, stop being so stubborn. Denying reality is not gonna make anything better.''

Katya couldn't think of anything else to refute Trixie. She was, indeed, right.

''Would you...go to this...doctor thing with me?''
''Baby, of course! I'll talk to your mother...''
''No! Please, don't tell my mom about any of this. Please.''
''Okay...but if you really are pre...''
''I'm not. And IF, and only IF I am...'' Katya got goosebumps from the thought. ''Then I'll tell her.''
''Alright. Let's just have dinner then, okay? Tomorrow we'll go to the doctor, together.''

xxx

In the morning, Katya tried to make up all kinds of excuses not to go to the doctor, but Trixie knew how to get through to her.

''If you behave and be a good girl, I'll do whatever you want between these sheets tonight. How does that sound to you?''

  Katya loved to see Trixie being a little dominant for once. In a matter of instants, the girls were ready to go. Katya was so nervous she didn't even want to eat breakfast, so Trixie just packed a PB&J sandwich to go and called them an Uber.
At the waiting room, Katya wouldn't stop shaking. There were women with big pregnant bumps, women holding babies, baby posters on the walls, everything was ''babies, babies, babies.''

''I need a cigarette.'' Katya said, standing up, but quickly being pulled back down to her seat by Trixie.
''You don't. Baby, I'm here with you. No matter what happens, I'll be here with you. Try to keep calm.''
''Miss Yekat...Katerina...Zamo...'' a woman, that appeared to be the doctor, called.
''That's me!'' Katya stood up and Trixie followed her. Both sit down on the pastel yellow chairs in front of the doctor's desk.
''So...Katerina...''
''You can call me Katya.''
''Okay, Katya. What is a young lady such as you doing here today?'' the sweet doctor, who had ''Dr. Julie Turner'' written on her coat, said.
''I, um...I'm not, I...'' Katya wouldn't stop shaking.
''Her period is two months late, so she wants to make sure is not a pregnancy.''
''I see. Are you her sister?''
''I'm her girlfriend.'' Trixie said, automatically. She quickly looked at Katya, mentally apologizing for not asking her first.
''Yeah, she's my girlfriend.'' Katya smiled at Trixie. ''But I used to have a boyfriend, we broke up about two months ago.
''Okay.'' The doctor was typing extremely fast at her computer. ''So, did you use protection when you were with him? Are you under any birth controls?''
''Not...really. For both questions.''

The doctor stopped typing, leaned over the desk and looked Katya in the eye.

''You see, you, young lady, need to be more careful with your sexual health. Pregnancy is not the only thing to be worried about, there are many diseases and infections that can be transmitted through sex, and that's dangerous for both you and your partner. You see, if your ex-boyfriend gave you some sort of STD, you could pass it on to your girlfriend right here. You see how important it is to take care of yourself?'' Dr. Julie said in the sweetest way possible.

Katya took a deep breath and started to cry.

''I'm sorry. I...I don't want Trixie to get sick because of me...''
''Hey, it's okay, you don't have to cry. Look, you're both gonna get tested for STDs and STIs, and you, Katya, are going to a blood test, so we can discard the possibility of a pregnancy, okay? Now, Katya, I'm gonna ask you to undress and put on that robe, then you can lay over there, I'm gonna examine you.''

Dr. Julie was a really adorable person. Both Katya and Trixie remained calm through the whole tests process, getting all the information they needed to know about sexual health.

''Your results will be ready next week, I'll call you in case anything happens before that. Take care, girls!'' Dr. Julie said.
''Thanks, doctor!''
''Thank you so much!''

All there was left to do was wait. At home, the girls did their daily routine of having lunch and lying on the hammock in the backyard right after.

''Trix?''
''Hm?''
''Thanks for making me go to the doctor. It wasn't so bad after all...And thank you for coming with me.''
''Baby, I love taking care of you. But you need to take care of yourself, you know that, right?''
''I know. If not for myself, for you then. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything bad happened to you because of me.''
''Don't be so hard on yourself. You're learning about these things, you've got time to grow. We've got time to grow. We'll be fine. And no matter what's written on those results, I'm staying by your side. I love you, dumbass.''
''I love you too, shithead.''

xxx

The week flew by as Trixie kept Katya very entertained and distracted from the anxiety and nervousness of waiting for the tests results. On Thursday, Katya had a little panic attack after dinner. She and Trixie went to the bedroom, and she just sank her head into a pillow and started to cry and hyperventilate.

''Baby, what's going on?'' Trixie turned Katya around so she wouldn't suffocate on the pillow.
''What if...what if I am pregnant? I can't take care of a baby...I can't even take care of myself...and we have college...and I wouldn't want you to give up on your dream to be with me and some...baby...'' She sobbed. Trixie guided her back to sit up and held her tight in her arms.
''Shhh, it's okay my love. It's gonna be okay. No matter what happens, we'll figure it out together. I'm here, okay?'' Trixie said, caressing her girlfriend's hair.
''I'm so scared, Trixie...I think I've never been this scared of anything in my life...''
''You have all the right to be scared. It's a scary situation. But at the end of the day, we'll get through this together. I promise you, everything will be fine.''

Trixie kept holding Katya in her arms, not only to comfort her, but to hide from her that she was also crying. Trixie was just as scared as Katya, but she couldn't afford to panic. She was being Katya's anchor at that difficult moment, and she would not surrender to fear.
  On Saturday, one week after the test were done, Dr. Julie called Katya's phone to let her know that their results were ready. She felt a cold wave rush through her spine, and didn't waste any second left after the call. Trixie and her didn't even have breakfast that morning. When they arrived, Katya asked Trixie to go inside Dr. Julie's office by herself.

''It's okay baby. I'll be right here if you need anything.'' Trixie said.

Trixie waited for about half an hour, but it felt like an eternity. Finally, Katya came out of the doctor's office. Her eyes were teary but her face was emotionless, in a way Trixie couldn't tell if she received good or bad news. The girl rushed towards Katya.

''So?'' she said with expectation.
''I...have anemia.'' Katya was still emotionless. ''I need to eat better. Did you know that...anemia can mess up your whole menstrual cycle?''
''Katya...?'' Trixie was confused by the girl's lack of emotion.

Then, Katya looked up, her eyes were overflowing with tears and looking right into Trixie's.

''I'm not pregnant. And I have no diseases or infections. And neither do you. I guess...we're very lucky.'' She smiles through her tears.
''We really are.'' Trixie teared up and hugged Katya with all of her love and relief.
''I think we should celebrate'' Katya parted them and held Trixie's hands.
''Totally! You wanna go get ice cream, or...''
''I actually wanna go home.'' Katya leaned over to whisper on Trixie's ear. ''I think I know what I wanna do with you.''

On the ride home, Katya wouldn't stop kissing Trixie's neck, cheeks and lips. She was having a hard time keeping her hands to herself while having the most beautiful girl in the world by her side. When they finally got home, the girls rushed upstairs to the bedroom, not even telling Pat that they had arrived. Katya closed the door behind them and immediately pulled Trixie by her shirt for a wet kiss. She really was on fire. Katya unbuttoned Trixie's shirt, without ever stopping the kiss, and tossed it on the floor. They kept their tongue connection while walking towards the bed, where Katya not so gently pushed Trixie into.

''Take off your skirt.'' Katya ordered, and Trixie didn't hesitate to obey.

Trixie wasn't wearing a bra, only her delicate pink lace panties. Katya crawled on top of Trixie and kissed her, caressing one of her breasts with one hand and using the other to support the weight of her body on the bed. Then, Katya got rid of her clothes as fast as she could, including underwear. The sight of Katya's naked body always left Trixie breathless. Katya ran her hands all over the sides of Trixie's body, all the way from her breasts to her panties. She kissed the lips between Trixie's legs over the fabric and pulled it down, tossing it away. Katya lifted one of Trixie's legs and placed herself in between. The feeling of the two warm and wet fleshes touching gave both of the girls shivers.

''I've always wanted to do this.'' Katya said, starting to move her hips back and forth slowly on top of Trixie.
Trixie admired the way Katya was committed to their pleasure, the way the low yellowy light of the lamp beside the bed reflected on her body as she moved like a charmed snake, it was the best sight in the entire world. As the movement progressed, the waves of pleasure started to invade both of the girl's bodies, making Katya instinctively increase the speed of her movement. Trixie grabbed Katya's hips with both hands, guiding her motion. Katya leaned over to kiss Trixie, never ceasing to move on top of her. Trixie's hands went from Katya's hips to her ass, grabbing it and pressing their bodies together as tight as she could, until she trapped Katya between her legs by closing them in an impulse that her orgasm gave her. Just a few seconds later, Katya released a moan into Trixie's mouth and dropped all of the weight of her body over her.

''Holy shit, we should do that more often.'' Trixie said, releasing Katya from her legs.
''I'm so tired...but it was totally worth it.''

The girls showered together, too tired to have a second round, and went to sleep. They hadn't slept that peacefully in a long time. It was good to finally have the weight of being clueless over the tests results off their shoulders once and for all, and having all of the Harry/Paul drama behind them.

xxx

Their last month of summer was wonderful. Both of the girls were extremely excited for college, planning out every single detail for when they got to New York. Well, Trixie was planning every single detail; Katya was just agreeing with her and cheering. Pat helped them pick a nice apartment that was near both of the girl's campuses and had a stunning view to the Hudson River. Donna would call them from time to time to check up on the girls, especially her little Trixie. George still hadn't call her, but Donna said he asked about her and Katya every other day, which was a progress. One week before Trixie and Katya went to New York, Pat surprised them by flying Donna to Boston to say goodbye. Donna gave Trixie a box of her stuff, such as pictures of them with George, her horse Barbara, baby Trixie with her parents. It was a very emotional week, but once the girls left, they knew it was right. The right time, the right place, the right person. And their lives were just starting.