Her Lost Soul 2

Chapter 2

I was sat in the pub most of the night drinking, lucky they don't check ID there. Drinking helps dull the sickening feeling. I made my way home once I couldn't stand up without swaying. Abigail checked in and told me not to freak out but I was past that stage. She hates me drinking my troubles away but what else could I do? Tyler has been texting me to keep me updated.
I woke as usual at 7 am. This is the first day of keeping my distance from Riley, how hard can it be? My phone rings and it's Tyler, my heart misses a beat. "Is she okay?" I panic.
"Flynn," Riley cries. I suck in a breath, why is she crying? Is she making this harder for me on purpose?
"Ri?"
"Flynn, please. I need you, I had a nightmare. He was here and he can still manipulate me. I don't know what to do." I grab my keys and head for the door. She needs me?
"Who, Ri?" she's not making much sense. I put my hand on the door handle and then remember I can't go to her.
"James," she sobs. Why is she so upset? It's a nightmare. Why is she having such bad nightmares again?
I sigh, "He's dead Ri, I'm not sure why you keep seeing him." I want to go to her but we both know we can't.
"He kissed me." I suck in a break and growl. Why is she thinking about him kissing her? "And I let him, I miss him." Christ, how cold is she that she misses him?
"Fuck Ri, you don't miss that arsehole! You're just upset right now." I can't help her and it's killing me.
"No! I told you, he can make me do anything! I'm scared and you aren't here." I open the door, I can't stop myself. I walk to the elevator, she's scared and she's freaking out.
"I can't Ri, I want to but you know I can't be there. I hurt you more than I protect you. They are just nightmares Ri, they can't hurt you." I am the true threat. She might be scared but there is no threat to her life if there was I'd be there in a heartbeat.
"So that's it? I'm alone?" Fuck! I press the call button repeatedly. She's not alone, I will always be on the sidelines.
"You aren't alone, Ri. You have your brother and your parents." The doors ping open and I step in and repeatedly press the ground floor button.
  "It's not the same!" she growls and the line goes dead. Fuck! When the doors ping open I hurry to the hospital. I can be there without her knowing, that's allowed, right?
TYLER- I know you, don't come!
ME- She needs me.
TYLER- No, she needs you to stay away. I'll meet you at Duke.
Hell! I stop in my tracks. I take a breath and clear my head. He's right, she's better off if I stay away. I change my direction and walk towards Duke. I go to the gym first to try and distract me but nothing works.
TYLER- She's discharged but she's insisting going to Duke today.

What a surprise? She's a risk-taker. I head to my next class and Clara swarms me again. I need to show Riley that we are better off apart. Even if she hates me for it. Clara sits next to me and I lean into her ear. "Do you have a condom?" I ask not even ashamed.
Her eyes flash to me shocked but then she quickly nods. I stand up and walk past her but she doesn't get up, "Are you coming or what?" I ask. She frowns but gets up and I walk out of the classroom. I find a single bathroom and pull her into it. It's a bit dirty but it will do. I lock the door behind us. She opens her mouth to speak but I cut her off. "No talking or we go our separate ways."
She nods, "Do you want to do this? I'm not forcing you to do anything." She nods, "Say it or I won't fuck you."
"I want this, I want you to fuck me," I nod.
"Condom," I ask and hold my hand out to her. She rummages through her bag and pulls out a box. She rips a packet from the strip and passes it to me. She places the box back into her bag and she noisily drops the bag on the floor. "Remove your panties," she's wearing a skirt so it's easy access. I shut my eyes, the only way to get hard is to think of her.
I let Riley into my senses, her beautiful face, her soft lips, her perfect tits. Her irresistible scent. The way it feels when I'm inside of her. Her warm pussy around my cock. The way she seduces me and strips. I open my eyes when I've reached my goal. I undo my jeans and slide them down along with my boxers.
"Turn around, hands on the wall," I demand. I love how they follow my every command when they are eager for me to make them feel good. I slide on the condom and I pull her hips away from the wall. I push her feet further apart and I slam into her from behind. She's tighter than I expected.
I shut my eyes as I pound into her. This way, Riley will hate me forever. I couldn't do this with Regan, it had to be someone else. Her hands support her as I thrust hard and fast inside of her. She stays quiet but matches my thrusts. "Flynn!" she calls out and I still.
What the hell am I doing? I pull out of her and she turns to face me. "Get out," I shout. She frowns at me, "This was a mistake. Get the hell out!" She quickly pulls on her panties and she bends down to retrieve her bag and she hurries out of the bathroom.
I lock the door behind her and I punch the wall. What the hell is wrong with me? Since when has it been okay to fuck a random with Riley in my life? You just keep fucking up Flynn Archer! My hard-on slowly fades and I pull the condom off. God, how stupid could I be!
I pull up my boxers and jeans and do them up. I discard the condom in the bin and I leave the bathroom. I walk outside into the rain and I pull my phone out.
"Honey, you okay?" Abigail says softly.
"I needed to hear your voice," I admit. She calms me more than she should. She's taken over the role of my Mom and no one asked her to.
"What's wrong?"
"I made a huge mistake and I don't know what to do," I feel the cold rain hit my skin.
"What did you do?"
"I had sex with someone else. I needed Riley to realise I'm not good for her. I need her to hate me but I realised I don't want her to hate me. I'm such a fuck up, Abigail. I can't think clearly when I'm not with her but I hurt her."
"You aren't a fuck up, don't say that. You love her, love makes people do crazy things. You aren't together so you don't have anything to be sorry for. She can't ask you to not be with anyone else. You need to call it off with Regan honey. It's not fair on her, she's a nice a girl. That day swimming you kept palming her off to me so you could be with Riley. Regan could be with a guy that likes her for who she is. You are only putting her life on hold."
"I don't care about Regan. I keep meaning to break up with her but it just never happens. If Riley finds out she will push me out. I don't want that. Even if I stopped it, she still won't forgive me. I feel so sick, Abigail. I was happy with her but now we are apart everything is falling apart."
"Then be with her, Flynn. You're both hurting for what? Nothing. Yes, you hurt her, it was an accident. You didn't mean to do it. Riley is stronger than we think. She loves you and she's accepted your rage. You make her feel safe when her family can't."
"It's not that simple, I can't. I can't put her life at risk, what if I killed her?"
"That wouldn't happen, Flynn, you aren't James."
"We don't know that," I growl.
"Honey, you have a good heart, don't be so hard on yourself."
"I've go to go, Mom, bye," I smirk at the gesture.
"Bye Honey, I love you," I hang up. That's twice I've called her Mom and she didn't react. I did it last time as a joke to lighten the mood but she really does feel like it. She's the Mother I always wish I had. I love my Mom but she was nothing like Abigail.
I head to the pub and meet Tyler there. Everyone is here, Britney, Regan and Nathan. I roll my eyes, I feel her the minute she arrives and something seems off with her. I can't put my finger on it. She types on her phone and then gets her diary out. She looks paler if that's possible. "What you having, bro?"
I roll my eyes, I'm not in the mood to argue, "Chicken and mayo sandwich, thanks," I keep my eyes on Riley. She's alive, that's all that counts.
"Really?"
"I'm not that hungry," I feel so sick. I hear Tyler taking everyone else's order. Riley glances at me as if she knows I'm watching and her eyes look dull. They've been shinning for weeks but now the light is fading. She goes back to writing or drawing, I never know.
"You working tonight?" Tyler asks.
"No, Mac gave me the night off, he says I'm working too much and not studying enough," I roll my eyes. I may be the bad boy but I still study and do my assignments. Mostly at night when I'm restless to keep me distracted.
Riley's food arrives and she starts to pick at her food. "Lee, sit with us," Tyler calls. Riley looks up at us and she shakes her head.
"I'm not allowed to be around him, remember? I'll stay here," she growls and goes back to her diary again. She's right we need at least six feet apart from one another.
"Don't be like that, Lee Lee. Come over here," she snaps her diary shut but she doesn't look at us. She shoves the diary in her bag. Is she coming over?
"No, god forbid I'd be in more danger over there!" she growls. Hell, she's taking this the wrong way. She doesn't need to distance herself this much. She storms out of the building and I sigh. Guess she's not eating lunch now. I was never supposed to disrupt her life this much.
"What's wrong with your sister, babe?" Britney asks.
"She's overreacted, as usual, don't worry about it, babe," he kisses her cheek and I rest my elbows on the table and rest my chin on hands. "It's okay, Bro, she will calm down."
"She shouldn't need to avoid spending time with her family because of me," I sigh. It's not right but then if it wasn't for me she wouldn't care for them anyway. She always said they were shit to her when she was intoxicated.
"It's what she does, it's nothing new and you know it," I shrug I guess it is.
"It's okay babe, you have me," Regan says and places her hand on my thigh. I sigh, I don't want her. Our food arrives and we eat and I go to my classes in the afternoon. I meet Tyler after so he can drive me home.
He gets his phone out of his pocket and he sighs. "What?" I ask.
"Nathan just texted me," what the hell does he want? He puts the phone away and he starts the car and hastily puts his seatbelt on. I put my belt on and wonder why he's in a hurry. "He's taken Riley home."
"Why?" I growl. He pulls away in a hurry, what is wrong with her now?
"He found her outside in the rain, she's cold and wet."
"But unharmed?" I demand.
"Yes," he confirms. I relax slightly, it's okay as long as she's not injured. She's not dealing with our separation very well but she's getting on with life which is better than last time. Why would she stay outside in the rain? I just don't understand her thinking right now.
When we pull up at the apartment he hurries to the elevator. I follow but I know I won't be going into her apartment. He stops outside her door and looks at me, "You coming in?"
"No, I can't," he nods. I hold my key out for him and he takes my keys and opens her door. He chucks me my keys back and I walk to my apartment. I shut the door, she had better be okay. I walk to my room and flop on the bed. I look at the ceiling and wonder what is going on next door.
Minutes pass and I grow more agitated not knowing what is going on. My phone rings and I get my phone out, Tyler? "Bro, is she okay?"
"Get to her apartment, now!" he growls. Fuck! The line goes dead, I get up and hurry to the front door. I grab my keys and leave the apartment. I slide my phone in my back pocket, what is going on that he needs me? I find her key and unlock her door. "In here, bro!" Tyler calls from the bathroom. Why is he in there? I put my keys on the table and walk into the bathroom.
I take in the room and I'm not expecting her stood in her underwear. I take in her body and I frown at the bandage on her forearm. So I hurt her arm? "Stop it, don't make me regret this," Tyler growls. What the hell is going on? Why is she stood in her underwear? How can I not look at her when she's blindingly beautiful?
"Regret what?" I prize my eyes away from her and look at him.
"She needs a bath and I don't really want to see my sister naked. I refuse to let Nathan do it." The hell! Why can't she bath herself exactly?
"Nathan? What does he have to do with anything?" I snap. Why is he bringing that dickhead into it?
"How do you think she ended up in her underwear?" I growl. He undressed my girl? "Get her in the bath, okay?" I swallow hard, I can do this without wanting to fuck her right? I nod my understanding.
"No, he could hurt me. You need to get out Flynn. You're a danger to me," I roll my eyes. Like I'd do anything with just her in the room. Tyler leaves the room.
I walk towards her and I reach behind her to undo her bra she tries pushing me away and I'm not in the mood right now. I hate that she wants to push me away, "Don't, Ri. Just don't." She drops her hands and lets me undo her bra. I remove the straps over her shoulders and it falls to the floor. Just don't look and you'll be fine, Flynn.
I kneel on one knee and I shimmy her panties down her legs. I swallow hard again, don't think about it! It's been too long and just the sight of her is making my testosterone go on overdrive. I lift her into my arms and I ease her into the already made bath. She sits in it and she looks distant. Her bandage is damp, I'll have to replace that. I remove her brace, "Something happened."
"No," she whispers. At least she's talking, something must have happened. Did she see him again?
"Tell me," I insist.
"Nothing happened," she says feebly. She's pushing me out again. She used to tell me anything and everything so easily once she trusted me.
Something is really wrong, I feel it in my gut, I sigh, "When did you start keeping things from me?"
"When you decided for the both of us to stay away from me. I needed you this morning but as long as I'm not physically in danger who cares right?" Did I let her down this morning? She's normally so strong that she says she doesn't need anyone.
"Don't say that to me. You know I care," I grab the jug on the side of the bath and I start washing her hair and she lets me. I love looking after her. I love that she's still wearing my ring and bracelet. She's still hanging on to us, she doesn't hate me that much yet.
I squirt shampoo on my hand and I start massaging her head. She groans she loves it when I do this too. I want to understand her better if she won't tell me I need to read her diary. She's already given me permission to do so. I rinse her hair, "So you say until it really matters."
She starts pushing me away and I glare at her, "Leave me alone, Flynn. You don't need to keep picking me up when I fall. I was cold, I'm okay now. You can leave now, you could flip out and hurt me again."
"This is serious, Ri. It's not a joke," is she for real right now? Everything I have done has been for her. This isn't easy on me either.
"Are you sure? It seems my whole life is one big joke. Now leave, don't worry. I'm not going to drown or burn myself. Just go!" I sigh. I know she won't because of Miley but I'm not sure of anything else right now. I get up and leave the bathroom. She frustrates the hell out of me, she knows I can help her and I want to but she won't let me.
"Is she okay?" Tyler asks.
"No, what happened? I don't understand anything," I walk to the couch and I flop on it. She makes me exhausted.
"Dunno, Nath said she was sat outside in the rain. He was undressing her when I arrived because she was soaked. He told her to stop him if she didn't want him to."
"She'd let any idiot undress her when she's like that. He took advantage of her!" I growl.
"Hence why I wouldn't let him go any further, bro. Calm down," I take a deep breath. I need to remain calm, too much shit happens when I get angry. "She needs to eat, I'll order pizza."
I nod and he starts typing on his phone. "Something is wrong bro. I don't know what it is but I feel it in my gut. She's blocking me out which is out of character."
"What could be wrong?"
"I don't know but I think it has something to do with James. He's definitely dead right?"
"Yes, of course. My Dad saw the death certificate."
"So, she must be seeing him in her head but why now? Do you think we should get her to see the doctor?"
"She said she didn't actually see him. It was all in her head, she doesn't think it's him anymore," I frown. She was adamant that she did see him. She begged me to come to her because he was manipulating her.
"I don't understand any of this," her bedroom door opens and she's in her PJ's. I'm disappointed that she's not in one of my tops. Normally when she's scared she wants one of my tops. Her hair is dripping wet and she will get cold again. I get up and walk to her bedroom. She must have a dryer somewhere. I root through her draws and I find it.
I walk back into the living room and I plug it into the closest socket. I start drying her hair and she doesn't protest. What more can I do if she doesn't let me in? She is my world and although we need distance I need to know that she's okay. She brings her knees to her chest, she's feeling vulnerable and I hate she won't let me in.
Once her hair is dry I return the dryer and walk to the bathroom. I collect her brace and I return to the living room. I sit on the couch next to her and I hold it out for her. She hesitates but then puts her hand in. I secure it and she withdraws her hand. I grab the blanket and I drape it over her. "Ty, go. Please, I don't need you all fussing over me. I was cold, I'm good now."
She's speaking to Tyler because she knows I won't stop looking after her. "Food, and then we will go." I don't want to go. I'm afraid if I leave now she will be worse off tomorrow. "I ordered pizza. It will be here soon," she sighs. I look at her and she curls up under the blanket.
"Maybe he will suffocate me with the pizza," she huffs. Really? Why does she keep doing this?
"Lee, stop joking around," Tyler warns.
"What? Maybe he will give me a papercut from the box." I roll my eyes, I'd never intentionally hurt her. "Or will it be some incurable disease he's passed on to me?"
"Christ Ri, really?" she's pissing me off.
"What? If you're really that dangerous, why is now an exception?" Tyler turns the TV on and we ignore her. It's more dangerous for me to leave her right now. I rebandage her arm and I try not to look at the stitches because I feel sick knowing I hurt her. Once the pizza arrives I watch as she eats the pizza but it's odd. She's not eating normally. Well, she's eating normally that's the issue. She's not scoffing her face as she normally does. When she's full she curls up again. She starts to snooze, right I've had enough of this.
I get up and I find her bag. I open it and I pull out her diary, "What are you doing?" Tyler growls.
"I need answers, I've had enough," I open it up and I flick through to the new pages. Lots about Miley but nothing is written of importance. I turn the last page and my eyes widen at the drawing on the page. It's a guy, so much detail that it actually makes me jealous. Is there another guy in her life? Actually, he does look familiar but why?
"Who the hell is that?" I growl. Tyler walks over to me and examines the page and he gasps. Does he recognise him?
"That's odd. Why is she drawing James? I mean he didn't look like that but it's definitely him. The hair is longer, messier. He never wore a hoody either. He almost looks homeless." Now he's said it, I remember him from the video. Why would she draw James? Why does she imagine him like this?
A phone beeps and Riley jumps off the couch and walks to the bathroom. Was she expecting a text for her to jump up like that? A few moments later she walks back in with her phone clutched to her chest. "I bathed and I ate now I want you to leave." The hell! What was that text?
"Calm down, Sis. I'll wait until you're asleep." Yes, she needs to be supervised.
"No, I want you to leave now. I'm want to go to bed and I want to bolt the door."
"Maybe I should stay," I don't want to leave her unattended. She shakes her head and my heart drops. When did she ever refuse my company like this?
"No, I don't want you to. You could smother me with a pillow when I'm sleeping." The fuck! Is she going to keep this up forever? I walk to the table and grab my keys. I storm out of her apartment and into my own. I lay on the couch and the door opens moments later. Tyler pushes my legs off the couch.
"What do I do?" I sigh. He sits next to me and I stay laying on the couch with my feet on the ground. Our couch is ridiculously small compared to Riley's.
"She will be okay," he says but I don't think he believes it himself.
"I'm telling ya, man, something is really wrong."
"Let's play the Xbox," I nod and he sets up the game. I sit up as he passes me the controller. We play for a couple of hours and there's a knock at the door. I look at the door, is that Riley? "You didn't see or hear anything."
I frown as he gets up and he opens the door. Susie walks in and I roll my eyes. He takes her hand and leads her to his bedroom. Another long fucking night. Why does he do this to me? I turn off the Xbox and I walk to my room. I strip into my boxers and I climb into bed. I'm shattered, I'm always worrying about her.
I put my pillow over my head to block them out. They are so loud. Maybe I should get Britney over here just to get them to stop. It takes me a while to actually fall asleep.