Her Lost Soul 2

Chapter 8

Once Riley is settled in her private room she seems less restless. There is an officer outside the door who has informed us of his procedure. He will stay as long as she is here. Only appointed people are allowed to come in and Doctors and nurses have to show ID at the door. "Bro, text your friend and get him to send over the sex tape."
    "Who?" Tyler asks.
    "I reckon all your friends have it but the frigid one, Eric."
    "Honey, be nice," Abigail scolds. I roll my eyes.
    "Ezra? How is he frigid? He's not a virgin."
    "Please, how could he not be?"
    "They say Riley took his virginity." I glare at him, bullshit!
    "Well, they are lying. Riley didn't sleep with him," I growl. She stirs but doesn't wake next to me. I stroke her face so she doesn't wake.
     "How do you know?"
     "One because I trust her when she said she didn't, secondly, Riley needs a man, not a pansy and thirdly can you not tell? He blushes all the fucking time, I'm embarrassed for him."
     "Flynn?" Abigail says softly changing the subject. I look at her, "You're sure she will come for Christmas?"
     "Course, if not I'm dragging her there myself. She can't be left here alone." Abigail nods and smiles.
     "You should go home and get some rest," Abigail says.
     "No, bad things happen when I leave her," I protest. "I'm not leaving her."
     "Okay, get some rest, we will go back to the apartment and we will back in the morning." Abigail kisses my forehead before she leaves. Once they all leave the room and I shut my eyes and try sleeping. I snooze for a while and I wake with a start, how can I sleep knowing he could come here and take her?
    I look at her beautiful sleeping face and stroke her cheek, "I love you, baby. I'm so sorry, I wish I could really claim you as mine. Nothing makes sense when we are apart." I take her hand and play with the ring on her finger. "I really do wish you were my wife. I wish this was real, I've never wanted anything more in my life. I worship the ground you walk on. If he hurt you and took you from me I'd die on the inside." She doesn't reply or react but then why would she if she's asleep?
    Why have I never said these most important words to her face? Isn't this what she needs to hear from me? Yet, I haven't got the balls. A nurse comes in with an ice pack, she goes to pull the covers off us but I stop her. "I'll do it," I insist and she sighs but doesn't reject. She passes me the two ice packs and I wait until she leaves. She checks the machines and replaces her IV drip.
   Once she leaves I pull the covers down and lift her gown. I remove the warm ice pack and toss it on the table. I trace the bruising on her ribs and goosebumps appear on her skin. "Flynn," she whimpers. I look at her face but she doesn't open her eyes, is she still sleeping? Even with the swelling, I can feel her ribs, why is she so skinny?
    I look back at the bruising and I screw my face up. How could anyone hurt a girl like this? I just don't understand it. Suddenly a hand covers mine and I look at her face and scared eyes look up at me. Did I wake her? Did it hurt? "Shh, go back to sleep," I hush her. She continues to look at me but every second that passes her eyes become less scared. "I'm here baby, I'll protect you."
    "I'm scared," she whispers.
    "I know, I won't let anyone hurt you," I reassure her. I place the new ice pack on her ribs and she gasps. I pull the gown over her body and pull up the covers.
    "Flynn. . ." she begs. What baby? "Please," she closes her eyes as if she's in pain. What baby, whatever you want it's yours. "Kiss me," she begs. She wants me to kiss her? Is she fully awake right now? Without hesitation, I claim her lips and she groans. My hands gently explore her body as I continue the kiss. As time goes on the kiss only grows more passionate. Hell! How am I going to stop? It's been too long since I tasted her.
    Her lips slacken and make no effort to return the kiss. I pull away and look at her face and it looks like she's fallen asleep. Is she trying to bruise my ego? I'm glad she's feeling comfortable enough to sleep but to fall asleep whilst we were kissing like that. Unacceptable!
    I'm sure Tyler would laugh if he was here. I rest my head on her forehead and I rest my eyes again. I snooze until her hand suddenly grabs my hand. "Flynn," she whispers.
    "Hmm," I reply. So sleepy. She doesn't reply so I inch my eyes open. She's looking right at me again.
    "I need a wee," I smirk and she frowns. I climb out of bed and press the call button. I feel really stiff snoozing in an upright bed. A nurse walks in and she frowns.
     "She needs the bathroom," I explain and she nods. She removes the IV and the wires. I bring her into my arms and the ice pack falls from her body. She calls out in pain, is she still hurting? They said they gave her stronger painkillers. She buries her face in my neck and I try control myself.
    I walk out of the room and the officer looks at Riley in my arms. "Sir, where are you going?" he asks.
    "She needs the bathroom, escort if you must," I say with no grievances. She can never have too much protection. He nods and follows us to the bathroom. Instead of stopping outside the bathroom, I carry her in. I scan the bathroom for potential risks, no one is in the ladies bathroom, I set her on her feet and she groans. She clings to me and wobbles. I hold her hips from behind whilst she walks to the bathroom. I bite my bottom lip as I see her skin through the back of the gown.
    Her black panties and bra entice me. I wish she'd wear different colours. She walks into the cubicle and shuts the door. It puts me on edge not being able to see her. I know she's the other side of the door but it still puts me on edge. I get my phone out and see many texts from Regan. I ignore them, I'm not in the mood for her right now. Well, I'm never in the mood. Why can't she get the hint? I tried to be brutal on purpose but she just won't leave me alone.
     Riley walks out and washes her hands. She looks so pale and the black rims are still under her eyes. The light has really faded from her eyes. I was bringing her light back but now he's destroyed it in days. How can he not see he is poison for her? She dries her hands and looks up at me. "Is it worth it?"
    "Is what worth it?" I ask.
    "Me? Protecting me. Ruining your life for me. I don't make you happy." Why is she saying this? Is she crazy?
     "I've told you before, I love you more than anything. He makes you lifeless and he makes you feel unworthy. You may frustrate the hell out of me but I wouldn't change it. I've never fought with anyone the way I fight with you. I've never felt the need to fight for anything. I have to fight for you. Do you not see you make my life better. I wake every day happy because I've met you and you are in my life."
     "But, I'm nothing. I don't deserve it."
     I sigh and close the distance between us, I cup her face and she closes her eyes. "You deserve the world, I hate that he makes you doubt that. Hell, maybe it's me too, maybe I make you feel that way. I've failed with everything else where you're concerned."
     She shakes her head, "You make me feel safe. . . when once nothing could. . .make me feel that. . .way. You make me. . . feel loved. . . you make me feel. . . hope. You light up. . . my life."
    I rest my forehead on hers breathing her in. Her words make my heart swell. She always seems to say the right words to say to me. Yet, I haven't even told her half of how I feel. I just don't have the right words to say. I remove my hands from her face and rest them on her hips. She wraps her arms around my neck.
     She needs to rest, I lift her up and she wraps her legs around me. Hell, I don't really want anyone else to see her exposed back. Why do they make them so exposed these gowns? I try pulling the material further around her back. I look in the mirror and sigh. Not a lot works, I clasp the material with my fists to cover her and hold her backside to hold her up.
    I carry her out of the bathroom and the officer frowns. I shield her body away from his prying eyes and glare at him. Thankfully the hallway is empty. He escorts us back to the room and I lower her on the bed and she clings to me. "Shh, I'm here," I prize her hands away and pull the covers over her. I climb into bed next to her and she curls up to me.
    The nurse walks back in, "I need her hand," she says to me. I remove Riley's hand from my body and present it to her. She lets me keep her hand in mine whilst she attaches the IV and wires again.
    "She still seems to be in pain. Is she due another dose?"
    "No not until the morning. She had one, two hours ago. She's going to be in a lot of pain. Even with the strong meds, she's still going to be in discomfort." I nod and I replace Riley's hand on my chest when she's finished. "It's going to be a good month before she starts to feel better." I frown, a month? "Get some rest," she insists and I nod.
    I rest my eyes and I wake to someone stroking my hair. "Honey?" Abigail says softly. I grumble as she continues to stroke my hair. "Honey."
    "Hmm," I groan. She really does feel like home. She's my mother at heart now. Never would I let anyone else comfort me like this when I'm asleep. Except for Riley of course.
    "Honey, go home. Get changed, refresh before she wakes up."
    "What time is it?" I ask.
    "7 am, Honey."
    "I don't want to leave her."
    "There's an officer outside and I will be with her. She needs you to take care of yourself." I blink and realise I'm laying on Riley's stomach. Is this my natural sleeping position? I sit up and she whimpers. "I promise, I'll watch her."
     I rub my eyes and notice Tyler is glaring at me. Hell! "Get up," he growls. I roll my eyes and climb out of bed. I slide my shoes on and I stroke her hair. He pulls me to the door and I look at the officer.
    "Don't let anyone in the room when I'm gone." The officer nods at me and I walk to the car with Tyler. He passes me the keys but I reject them. "I'm too tired, bro."
     "Are you sick?" I've never passed the opportunity to drive.
     "No, just tired. Your sister woke many times in the night." He nods his understanding and I slide into the passenger side. I rest my head on the headrest and he starts the car.
     "Was she really bad?"
     "No, just restless. I don't know how much of last night she will remember, she seemed out of it."
    "What do you mean?"
    "Well, she doesn't remember the sleepwalking so I'm not sure she will remember this. She was the one that came up with the no sex rule but she begged me to kiss her." Tyler glares at me, "And then she fell asleep."
     His face softens, "Bro," he laughs hysterically. "That's funny, as in mid-kiss?"
     "Yup! She begs me to kiss her and then I literally put her to sleep!" he continues laughing. "She woke me up when she needed the bathroom. She asked me if she was worth the hassle."
     "She said that?" he frowns looking at the road ahead. "She's always been confident in herself. She never cared what others thought of her. Until one day, she did. I never understood why until now. When she was intoxicated she didn't care either."
    "I know you said he was good to her but what were they like together?" he frowns again as if he's deep in thought.
    "I don't know. I always thought they were good. I respected him. In fact, I never saw him being 'intimate' with her. Maybe that's why I liked him. I always thought he respected her, you know? The most they did in public was hold hands."
    "He never kissed her in public? What about hugging?"
    He shakes his head, "No, never, not in front of me anyway." I shut my eyes, I'm so tired.
    "I don't understand."
    "Why?"
    "I'd want to show her off to everyone. Claim her lips in front of everyone to keep them away."
    "That's you and your obsessive behaviour. Besides, although they all liked Riley back then, no one particularly wanted her sexually."
    My eyes fly open and stare at him, "Why?"
     He shrugs, "She wasn't the most popular, she was timid. She never wanted the guy's attention. She was innocent back then. She was never as confident as she is now. She let people walk all over her. She never wore makeup which would entice them. They didn't want to touch her because she was my sister. Some of them thought she was fat."
     I clench my fists, fat? "Doesn't stop them now," I huff. "She was never fat, she looks anorexic now. I can feel her ribs."
    He sighs, "I know. She lost shit loads of weight after the accident." He pulls up at the apartment and we climb out of the car. We walk up to our apartment and I have a shower. I brush my teeth and get dressed. I get my phone out.
ME- Is she okay? X
   ABIGAIL- Restless in her sleep but okay. X
   I frown. Why can't she sleep without me? I'm nothing special.
ME- Won't be long. X
   I walk out into the living room, "Mom wants us to get breakfast on the way." I nod, I swing by her apartment and get her fresh clothes and then we head to a cafe. "What do you think she will want?" I love it how we both know who she is.
    "Fuck knows. She's going to make my life hell either way." He smirks at me, "I guess something light and easy. Smoothie?"
    He nods, "I'll get her some pancakes too just in case she's hungry."
    "Milkshake," I say.
    He frowns, "huh?"
    "Milkshake will soothe her throat. What does she like?"
    "Chocolate," he nods. He orders at the till and we aren't waiting long. We are back on the road within ten minutes. I start clock watching on the way back. "Bro, calm the hell down! You are putting me on edge."
    "I can't help it," I retaliate.
    "I'd appreciate it if you replace the petrol you use in my car. Fucking had to get some late last night."
     "Bro, I was preoccupied. Besides, you're always telling me not to spend my money."
     "I'll give you my card next time." I roll my eyes. When we arrive Hayden walks to the car. He punches my arm. "Dad," Tyler greets.
     "You look like shit, son." I roll my eyes.
     "I wonder why? Your daughter kept me awake."
     He puts his arm around my shoulder, "I remember those days. Treasure them, I'd give anything to be a horny teenager."
      "Dad!" Tyler protest.
      "I wouldn't be in such a bad mood if that was the case!" I roll my eyes. I loved spending the night with Riley. We'd make love until early hours of the morning and pass out until we woke up. They were the days. Tyler slaps the back of my head, "Bro!" I growl.
     Hayden removes his arm and he carries the drinks. Tyler grabs Riley's bag and I carry the bag of food whilst Tyler shuts the door and locks it. We head up to the trauma ward and I frown when I see two women. I shove the bag of food at Tyler. "Lee, you can't go anywhere alone and you haven't had the all-clear from the Doctor yet." Abigail panics but Riley keeps walking.
    I glare at them, she shouldn't be up and about and men are staring at her as she passes. The gown is fucking exposed!  "Riley!" Abigail shouts angrily but Riley doesn't listen. Abigail grabs her arms but Riley freaks out and pushes her off her.
     "Don't touch me," she growls. Abigal holds her hands out in defence. It's amazing how real the prosthetic looks.
     "Ri!" she jumps out of her skin and spins to face me. Her panicked look seems to fade as she sees me. Abigail relaxes when she sees me. "What the hell are you doing?" I don't give her chance to reply as I scoop her up into my arms. I notice her grit her teeth but she doesn't call out. I head back to her room.
    "Flynn, I need. . . a wee," she protests. So that's what she was doing. Why couldn't she have waited for me to return? I turn back around and walk to the bathroom.
     "I thought I could leave you for half an hour without causing trouble." She clings to my neck as if she's happy in my arms.
      "I had. . . a nightmare, it felt. . . real." I hush her gently and I wasn't here to comfort her.
     I walk in without thinking again and a woman glares at me.  "Hey, you perve!" she growls. Riley clings to me tighter. "It's a woman's bathroom." No shit!
     "Gah, I hadn't noticed. Thanks for informing me, you can relax I only have eyes for her," I set her on her feet and I catch her smile. She holds her ribs, "Hurry up, I'll wait here." I want to get her back asap. Does it make her happy that I only have eyes for her? I've reassured her many times have I not? She walks into the cubicle and shuts the door.
    I stare at the closed door but I continue to feel daggers sent my way by the woman until she huffs and finally leaves. "I need. . .my phone," she sounds hoarse. Is her throat still that painful?
    Always thinking of others, it's only 8 am, yet, she's panicking about her afternoon phonecall with my sister. "Yes, Ri, I know. We will be home before her phonecall." Moments later the door opens and she walks unsteadily to the sink to wash her hands. I lean against the cubicles as I stare at her exposed back again. She seems oblivious and I feel the need to inform her so she doesn't let other people see her, "You do realise that the back of the gown doesn't cover much."
     She looks at me horrified, "Flynn," she whines and I shake my head. Hell! She's not up for playing today. I guess she doesn't remember much from last night. I pick her up and she doesn't protest. I scan the hallway, where is the useless guard?
     I walk back to the room when the coast is clear. The officer stops us and glares at Riley, "If you need to leave the room you need an escort," he scolds. I glare at him, he should have escorted her regardless! What is he, scared of her? "Let me know next time, okay?" Don't threaten my girl, I glare at him and he takes a step back. Riley buries her face in my neck not wanting to retaliate.
     "She won't be going anywhere. Once she's home it won't matter," I growl and he nods then moves out of my way. I carry her into her room, I lower her onto the bed and cover her with the blankets.
    "Sis, I got you a smoothie and pancakes if you can swallow them but have the smoothie first." He passes it to her and she slides it onto the table as if it's poison. I roll my eyes, here we go. "Sis," he warns. She shakes her head and Tyler sighs at a loss. "Bro," he sighs. I roll my eyes again, what would he do without me?
    "Move forward, Ri," she carefully slides forward. I kick my shoes off and climb on the bed behind her with my legs either side of her. I reach for the cup and then sit back. She leans against my body and I hold the cup to her. "Come on, just try it." She shakes her head, I'm actually going to throttle her myself. "Why did you have to create such a stubborn daughter, Abigail?"
     "In all fairness, she wasn't always so stubborn. Besides, why did you have to fall in love with my stubborn daughter?" True, I had no control. I tried to resist her but I loved her from day one and my feelings only grew. "See, we have no control," She chuckles.
    "Ri, I know it hurts. Please, for me. For Miley," If I say for Miley she's bound to accept it. She grumbles and her fingers entwine with mine around the cup. She brings the straw to her lips and I instantly look away as if I'm an addict and I'll cave if I watch her. Tyler glares at me but then smirks. He knows because I told him! She coughs and the liquid flies out of her mouth. Is it really this hard?
     She tries pushing the cup away from her but I don't let it move. She then tries to withdraw her fingers but I keep them entwined. I like being like this with her. "Try again, Ri. We knew this would be hard." I didn't think it would be this hard but I guess it is Riley we are talking about. I remove one hand from the cup and I stroke her hair.
    She tries again and I look at the back of her head and not her lips. I hear Tyler's faint laugh. I relax slightly when she keeps it down. "So we are heading out today, you joining us tomorrow?" Abigail asks. I can't fucking wait! When I left there I was disheartened knowing I had to end it with Riley and I didn't know if she'd want me to return.
    "Yeah we are, we will leave around 10 am."
    "I'm. . .not going," Riley croaks and I roll my eyes. Oh, she's going.
    "Yes, you are honey, you are always home at Christmas," Abigail pleads and she looks at me for help. I promised she would go and she will. She just might not know it yet.
     "No. . . Miley. . . Alone. . .She will. . .hate me."
     "Enough with the bloody kid again, Lee. She's not your child, she's not your responsibility." I glare at Tyler but he doesn't notice. She's not a bloody kid she's my sister. Abigail passes me a sandwich and I take a bite.
     "You're wrong. . .do you know what. . . she called me?" They all look at her,  "She called me. . .Mommy." I hear gasps as I continue to eat this is old news to me, "So, if you think. . . I'm leaving her. . .you're mistaken."
     "Do you see what you've done bro? If you didn't fuck her as I said, she wouldn't be so involved in your life! She should be at home with her family. Not with yours," Tyler yells and starts walking towards the door. Why is so angry? If it wasn't for me she'd be dead.
     "Ty!" Riley croaks loudly and clasps her neck. He stops but doesn't look at her, "Flynn is. . . family so. . .that means. . . Miley is family. Not because. . .of us but because. . . of you. He's your. . . brother."
      "I fucking hate you sometimes. Stating the truth frustrates the hell out of me."
      "Go. . .find Ruby. . .I guess you won't truly. . . know what I do. . .for you but. . . being apart from. . . Ruby for two weeks. . . you'll get an inkling. . . of how I feel," he turns and glares at her and then storms out of the room. She's right though but I've never seen him so pissed off with her before.
     "Go easy on him Lee. He's hurting too," Abigail says softly.
     "Hurting? I'm sorry, so he's got a. . .stalker boyfriend. . . who abuses him. . . who only has one person. . .that makes him feel safe. . .that he can only truly love. . . yet his sibling forces. . . them apart. . . and I have to go. . . easy on him? I have. . .more pain than. . .him yet. . . I need to go easy on him, ow." She has a point but I wish she'd stop saying boyfriend as if it's current.
    "Ri, what part of not talking, do you not understand?" I warn, I pass her the milkshake and she happily accepts. Does she think it's coffee? She takes a sip and licks her lips. Fuck, don't do that! She takes another sip, she must be enjoying it. "It's not all on him, Ri. Don't hate him for my problems." She takes a breath to retaliate but I cover her mouth, "Don't Ri, I'm going to tape your mouth shut."
    She groans and turns her body sides ways and curls up on my chest. I release her as she looks docile and she continues drinking her milkshake without arguments. "Miss Blake," the Doctor appears in the room. He's smiling at my girl and I glare at him. "You're looking better," he observes. "How do you feel?" Silence. Wow, she's actually listening for once but I reckon it's because she's making a point.
    I laugh, "Oh, so you're actually listening to me?" She still doesn't reply. "Doc, she's fine. She's sulking."
     "Okay," he chuckles. "I'm discharging you. If you have any concerns make sure you come back. Remember rest for at least a week."
     "She will rest," I insist. She sits up and groans in pain.
     "I'll leave you to it," the Doctor nods and leaves.
     "I brought you some clothes from home, Ri." I climb off the bed and slide my shoes back on.
     "We will meet you outside," Abigail says and they leave the room. I hope no one comes in whilst I'm helping her change. I lift the gown off her as she sits in her underwear. I look at her bruises and somehow they look worse today. How is that possible?
     "It's okay," she reassures me. It's not fucking okay! I shake my head and pull out the bottoms I chose.
     She looks horrified, "Ri, you need something comfortable and no it's not okay, Ri. When will you see that? You love the wrong things. People that hurt you."
     "Then go, Flynn. If you. . . are so wrong for me. . .then leave. I'm done. . . with this shit. I'm stronger than. . . you all think." She is strong, I'm the first to say that she is. It's not about being strong. She tries pushing my hands away but I start sliding the bottoms up her legs.
     "Just stop talking, Ri. You are in no way shape or form a good judge of character. You love him!"
     "Yes!" she screams and whimpers. Stop fucking talking. I hate that she hurting, "But I love you. . . more! You aren't a monster. . . Flynn!" I cover her mouth when her eyes water. She's not doing herself any good shouting. She wipes her eyes. When she looks more docile I release her. I slide on her top and one of my hoodies. I slide on some socks and trainers and I go to bring her into my arms. "No!" she protests. I lift her up anyway. "Stop!"
     "Ri, enough. Don't fight me, we both know that I won't let you push me away."
     "But it's okay for you to. . . push me away!" I roll my eyes. Why must she make everything so fucking hard? I carry her into the hallway and I walk towards her parents.  "I can't. . . do this anymore," she whispers barely audible. I look down at her, can't do what? My heart thumps.
      "Do what?" she's scaring me.
      "You, act like you care. . . only when it. . . suits you. My love for you. . . is eternal, always. . . yet you pick. . . and choose when. . . we can be. . .close. I'm done," she whimpers. Is she for real? Does she think I pick and choose when I love her? That's insane!
      "I'll always care, Ri. Fuck. . . This is me protecting you. Do you not see? I love you so much that I'll lose you to protect you." Her parents stay quiet but I know they are listening.
      "I don't need. . . protecting from you. Maybe I should. . . be with JJ. At least he wants. . .me. He doesn't care if he. . . hurts me." I set her on her feet, I'm so fucking angry. Why would she say that to me! She holds her ribs and it slightly dulls my anger.
     "You are too corrupted to see the control he has over you! You are blinded!" I march away from her. She doesn't say anything as I walk away and neither do her parents. She's safe with them, isn't she? I need to calm down before I see her again.
    Once I'm outside I pull my phone out. "Bro?" Tyler says.
    "Where are you?" I growl.
    "In the car park," I hang up and walk to where he left the car. I get in the front and he looks at me from the driver's seat. "Did she piss you off too? Yeah, she's good at that. What did she do now?"
     "She said she should be with James because she doesn't need protecting. She doesn't care that he hurts her and he doesn't care either. I'm protecting her! Just because he's a psycho doesn't mean he's right!" he sighs.
     "She's stubborn. Where shall we go? Is my parents taking her home?"
    "Yes, and I want to go to her work. See if there is CCTV." He nods and starts the car and drives away.