Repressed

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I was back in the psychiatrist's office, this time with a police officer too. He clicked the button on a recorder and nodded at me.

I took a deep, shaky breath and began. "I used to always be closer to Nicholas. He was my age, and we went to school together, so I just knew him better. I only saw Lewis when I was at Nicholas's house and once I started high school. I thought it was really cool that Lewis would want to hang out with Nicholas and me, so I really admired him. I first met Nicholas in fourth grade, and that was when I met Lewis too. We spent the night in the RV all the time. When we were in seventh grade, Lewis started acting sort of different. He'd talk about girls, and he'd show Nicholas and me dirty magazines he had. He never acted weird about it, but it was just different. Near the end of our seventh-grade year-" my voice broke. I sniffed and felt my eyes well up with tears again. I pulled up my legs in the chair and wrapped my arms around them. "At the end of seventh grade, when we would play truth or dare, Lewis would always dare me. We'd always played truth or dare, but he would do different dares now. He'd tell me to go in the back room with him. When we were in there, he'd stand in front of the door and tell me to do things. It started as just doing random things, like doing a handstand. Then he'd start telling me to do things like take off my shirt. Every time he'd dare me to go back there, it'd - it'd get worse. He'd tell me to touch him on..." I trailed off. "You know. He'd make me take off my clothes and let him touch me. Then one time Nicholas didn't spend the night with us, he had something else. I still wanted to spend the night, so I just went out there with Lewis. He - he made me go to the back room, and he locked the door. He made me take off my clothes, and he -" I choked on the words. "He raped me. I remember I didn't really understand what was happening, but it hurt. I kept telling him to stop. After that, I would never spend the night with just him again. I was scared if I said something, he'd get mad and tell Nicholas not to be friends with me. So I never told anyone, and I guess - I guess I forgot," I started crying, big heaving sobs that shook my entire body.

When I stopped crying, the police officer gently asked, "Oliver, was your relationship with Lewis sexual when you two were dating?"

I shook my head. "No. He always said he wanted to wait."

The psychiatrist shook his head sadly. "Remorse. He thought he could make up for what he did. You may have post-traumatic stress disorder, Oliver. It's not uncommon for people to block out a painful memory," he then spoke to the police officer. "PTSD could explain a lot."