Tratie/never my forever

she will always hate me

TRAVIS

I walk back from dinner feeling like an absolute fool. Not only did I embarrass myself in front of Katie's sister, her friends and the entire Aphrodite Cabin but I embarrassed myself in front of Katie. Why am I such an idiot. It's time for the truth, which I admitted to myself three years ago when I put up the chocolate bunnies on Katie Gardners roof, I am completely, hopelessly, totally in love with Katie Gardner. 

I've always been in love with her, from the second I saw her at my first day in camp, flowers in her hair talking animatedly to Silena and laughing while the sun hit her. I thought she was an absolute goddess. No actually, I asked Connor if that was Aphrodite. I tried so many times to approach her but I always got too nervous and then I did what I do best, and began to prank her. 

Katie would always laugh and get mad but never actually get mad. I lived for the moments when she would smile at me and laugh or even when she yelled at me, it was kind of sexy. I know I should've stopped pranking her years ago, but its the only thing keeping me tied to her. I just hope she never realizes how I haven't pranked anyone other than her for two whole years. And then, the whole thing with Luke happened and it really affected me and Connor and all my siblings and the only thing I looked forward to was Katie.

Lately, she's been different. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is. I know she dresses differently but she is as gorgeous as ever. I rarely can ever talk to her alone, she's too certain and knows exactly what she wants, which is anyone but me. Every time I do I end up getting nervous and saying something stupid and setting us back years in progress. Exactly what I did this morning. I woke up for the sunrise, like I always do, and when I was climbing onto the roof I noticed her walking to the strawberry fields. I've seen her a few times doing that and I always assumed it was some head counselor of Demeter duties but I decided today was the day, I was going to talk to her without a prank.

Of course, Connor and I had lined up a pretty epic prank for her this afternoon, we were going to put shaving cream in her riding boots so she'd freak out when she stepped into them for Pegasus class. I walked up and we had a normal conversation. Its one of the many things I love about her, how she never treats me like a child like everyone else does and even though I know she doesn't like me, she always engages in conversations and actually talks to me. My idiotic brain decided I should tell her that and I freaked out when she asked for me to explain.

What was I supposed to do, tell her I'm obsessed with her? That I know her entire schedule and I look forward to bumping into her every day. So instead I say the first thing that comes to my mind, an absolute utter lie. I say something dumb about her appearance. Her face fell and she shot up and shot an insult back and stormed off. I went on with my day upset, convinced I ruined everything. I didn't even end up pranking her, my heart wasn't in it.

At dinner, as always I watched her the entire time and tonight she looked back and saw me. She's never looked back before and I've never been caught in the act. I genuinely don't know how, not a single day has gone by where I haven't spent every meal watching her stunning side profile as she laughs and talks with her cabin, probably about plants or something boring. I took it as a sign and decided I should apologize so I went up to her and asked if we could talk.

Spoiler alert, it failed. Now here I am, sitting alone in my head counselor cabin, lamenting my awful life and wishing I could just man up and tell her I love her. Because I do, I really do. 

... 

I woke up to Connor banging on my door, "Wake up Travis! Time to smell the roses!"

I groaned. I overslept. I never oversleep because I never sleep well. I slowly rose out of bed and threw on a camp t-shirt and shorts, not bothered to look at all presentable today. What's the point, if Katie absolutely hates me?