My eyes fluttered open and I stared up at the ceiling for a moment before looking over at my night stand. I weakly took my arm out from underneath my comforter and pressed the snooze button on my alarm clock. I groaned and moaned and hid my face under my blanket; I was so tired. I didn't fall asleep until two-thirty in the morning, because I was texting Dan. I got to know him more, and, turns out, he's a really funny guy with an awesome personality.
Oh, gosh! I rushed out of my blanket and accidentally rolled off my bed, smashing onto the ground. Today was Dan's first day at our school and I promised we would walk to school and I would show him around.
Squirming up onto my feet, I ran over to my closet and flipped through all of my shirts. I picked out a white and blue striped crop top that showed a tiny bit of my stomach, and then ran over to my dresser and grabbed a pair of denim high waist shorts.
Quickly getting dressed, I went into my own personal bathroom to do my daily make up. I grabbed my cosmetic bag and grabbed my eyeliner and mascara. Looking up at myself in the mirror, I yelped and held my hand to my chest.
"Jesus Christ." I mumbled in a whisper. I had forgotten to take off my make up last night, so, therefore, my eyes look like I haven't slept in eighty-million years.
I washed my face and got dressed into my outfit I picked out. I stared at myself in the body length mirror that was bolted behind my bathroom door. Just staring at the tiny scars on my legs and then the faded ones on my arms. What would Dan think? Would he not want to be friends with me after he seeing what I do to myself? The possibilities were endless, and I tried coming up with a lot of excuses for each and everyone of them. Pitbull attack, fell off the roof, cut myself in shop class, kitchen mishap, shaving accident, arts and crafts accident, tried out for a sport, etc.
I hated myself for doing this to myself, to be honest. But it happened, and, sadly, I can't change the past. But the past is in the past. However, if this whole thing with Dan is a complete failure, then, I swear on the holy bible, I will never, ever trust anybody else again. I grabbed my foundation out of my bag and dabbed some of the recent cuts with it, trying to cover them up the best I could. When I was all done in the bathroom, I went back into my room and slipped on my black high top converse with my favorite black socks. I grabbed my phone off of my dresser and my journal off of my bed, then grabbed my bag off of the floor to go downstairs to make myself breakfast.
When I began to prepare my hungry stomach for a Hot Pocket, I felt a vibration in my back pocket and immediately took my phone out, checking to see what Dan had said to me. It's sad, depressing even, that within one vibration of my phone I already knew who caused it to vibrate.
Vanishing that thought for later, I looked at the screen nervously.
Dan: Where are you? We're going to be late. Hah XD I'm on my way to your house. Be there soon. ;)
I felt myself blush and mentally slapped myself for even thinking that Dan was attempting to flirt with someone like myself. I mean, look at me! I have too many hideous, pink, scars to be seen as normal. I looked down at my phone and decided not to eat, went up the stairs to get to my room, entered my personal bathroom, and brushed my teeth.
As I began to exit the staircase, I heard a knock on the door. That must be Dan! What should I do? I don't want to come off like a friendless, lonely senior. But I don't want to answer the door too late. Oh, I'm friendless anyhow. I've got nothing to loose.
I clench my doorknob and slowly pull the door open, smiling when I see him holding his arm out, silently asking if he and I can hold hands.
"Hey," I said a bit too loud, sounding quite annoying. "Let's get going we don't want to be too late!"
Dan let out a quiet laugh. To be honest... it was cute... maybe even adorable. He took my hand in his and looked me up and down. When he suddenly frowned at me and stared at my right thigh. He was giving me a look as if I weren't human and I started to feel uncomfortable.
"Um..." he started as he looked into my eyes. "What's on your thigh right there? And there? Where did those come from?" When Dan started to point at my scars I looked down at my thigh and then down at the ground, trying to avoid the question by making an effort to walk passed him when he pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry. You shouldn't do that to yourself, Ella."
"I didn't. Those are just from an accident..." It felt so wrong to lie to my very first friend but I have to. What would he think of me if I hadn't lied? He would desert me. We both know that.
"Okay, lets get going! I'll race you!" Dan started to run to the end of the sidewalk, waiting to cross. He is just amazing. His laugh, his attitude, his eyes--
What am I saying? He's just a friend. Jesus! I can't believe knowing Dan for a day causes me to feel this way!
"Wait up!" I laugh as I catch up to him and then pass him, staying ahead until I let him win when we get to the school.
It was just after second and before third period and I had to go to my locker to get my books for Pre-Calculus. When I got to my locker I saw at least five-billion notes taped to my locker.
"Attention Whore", "Bitch", "Thief", "NOBODY likes you!", "Kill yourself already!!!", and etcetera were just some of what the notes contained.
I ripped off some of the notes, opened my locker, and grabbed my hidden blade. I ran into the girl's bathroom, hiding the blade and then went into the stall furthest away from the door, unbuttoned my shorts, pulling them down and held the blade not even a centimeter away from my right thigh with my right hand, staring at the shiny blade with few blood stains.
