Kylo Ren X Rey

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"Stop moving!" My voice booms across the room. That girl, the scavenger, the one that every being in this galaxy underestimated, including myself is in front of me. I've been an idiot. I let her get inside my head, she's infiltrated my every waking thought. I hate it. She's just so infuriating. Her snarky remarks and headstrong attitude, they drive me crazy, in more ways than one. I hate admitting it to myself, but I do find myself attracted to her. She makes cheeks flush, and my heart beats too fast. I think that's why I'm so mean to her.

"You stop moving!" She shouts at me. I have her in restraints so she can't escape while I interrogate her. While she may not be able to get out of them, she certainly tries to. She's thrashing in the cuffs. I don't know why because if she actually wanted to get out all she'd have to do is calm down and manipulate the force to her will. But just as I am, she too, is riled up.

"If you stop moving like that, this will be much more pleasant for you. I highly suggest you calm down" my voice is unwavering. The helmet helps with that. I know she wants to respond, but she just thrashes more. A foreign feeling bubbles in my chest. I feel guilty, I don't like seeing her like this.

She's on a table lying down, I crouch next to her head and begin searching her mind. I'm looking for Luke Skywalker. He was able to create a force projection of himself for a great deal of time. It's a skill few force users can master, I want him to teach me. Rey is the key to that. I see a young girl crying. She's crying for her mom. There is a period where all I see is sand and junk parts. She really was a scavenger. I see her on the falcon. The name fills me with disgust. I see Han Solo. I can sense that to her, he was a father. I am filled with rage. His only child wasn't good enough, but an orphan scavenger was, the scene changes, I see myself killing him. Instead of feeling triumph like I should, all I feel is shame. A wave of regret washes over me. No. I don't regret it. I can't. The image changes once more. Rey is standing on an island looking out into the sea. She turns around, facing me right in the eye.

"You should really leave now" she says firmly.

Next thing I know, I'm back in the room, and Rey is out of her restraints. I then realize that I am now the one in the table with my arms and legs restrained.

Rage. All I feel is red hot rage. I have been bested by a stupid little girl at my own game. I leap up, the cuffs flying into the air and shattering on the ground. I get my lightsaber, only to realize it's not there. I look up, my eyes blurry with anger. There she is, standing in the corner, inspecting my lightsaber like it's a neat toy.

"You really didn't think I'm that stupid did you?" She rolls her eyes, but I can sense her disgust. "You really think I'd just leave one of the galaxy's most lethal weapons in the hands of you, a creature in a mask who can't even look me in the eye without wanting to cry because you killed your father? You really think I'd do that? You must be more of an idiot than I thought. It wasn't even that hard, you were so easily manipulated. You should really work on that, and while you're at it, your anger issues could use some work to" She says this like she's bored, as if it's just mundane talk to fill time.

Instead of giving into my anger, which is telling me to strangle her, I remove my mask.

"Maybe." is all I say. I know I should say more, do more, but I don't want to fight with her. I've caused her so much pain already, she doesn't deserve it.

As I think these things, I'm shocked at myself. I don't feel guilt, I'm not supposed to. I should not be showing her mercy. I don't like what she's doing to me. She's weasiling her way into my life and I hate her for it all the more. Except, I don't hate her. I couldn't. She is everything I couldn't be. She is strong, and brave, and she doesn't give up. The thing I admire about her the most, is that even though the universe has been so cruel to her in every way possible, she doesn't hate it. She still believes that there is good, and she wants to find every bit of it. So I can't hate her, and I don't think I ever have. Admitting this is unsettling, but maybe it's the start of trying to find the good in me, even if I have to search for the rest of my life to find it, she's given me hope that it's in there somewhere.

"Maybe I am just a creature in a mask, maybe I do get too angry too often. Maybe I do feel bad about my father. Maybe, I am all those things and more. But I've never known any other way. I never knew that there was another way to be." The situation is reversed, instead of asking her to join me, I am begging for her to take me instead. I reach out my hand.

"Please, Rey, show me another way. I don't want to be like this anymore, and I know it's possible. Please" with my hand outstretched, I look her in the eye silently pleading with her. I can sense her hesitation, she doesn't believe me. I don't know what to do. So I do the one thing I've never done before. I let myself be weak.

I sink down on my knees. I cry for the first time in years. They start off as silent tears, but a second later my body is wracked with sobs. I can't stop myself, they just keep flowing. I'm too escalated to even care that I am humiliating myself. What would people say if they knew that the 'Supreme Leader Kylo Ren' was crouched on the floor bawling to a scavenger. I'd be ruined, my entire empire would be humiliated. Isn't that what I want though? I want to leave behind this empire, I hate what I've created in the galaxy. Leaving it behind is what I want, all I have to do now is... do it.

"Ben, I don't... I don't know what you want me to do. Where would we go where you wouldn't be captured or- or killed. I don't want that for you." She sounds anxious, and what she says is true. If I leave with her, she could never go back to her friends, we would always be on the run. I can't do that to her, it's too much to ask.

"I understand what you're saying, and the truth is I don't know where I'd go, all I know is that I don't want to be here anymore" I know that this is the first step in a long journey, and I'm going to take it. Even though i have no idea what to do next, I am ready for it. I take her hand.

"We're going to my ship, I'll drop you off at your base, and then I'm going to find somewhere to stay until I can figure things out long term. I don't know if we'll ever see eachother again, I hope we do. Lets go" we get onto my ship and sure enough we execute the plan. Right before she she gets off she turns to me

"Don't forget who you are Ben Solo"

I smile at her, I miss hearing that name. I fly off in search of a place to start a new life. A life without Kylo Ren or the empire. A life where I can be myself, Ben solo, in peace.