EVERMORE ─ marvel

XI. Believe In Yourself

Chapter Eleven
Zy'aire

As soon as we exit the portals made by the Masters of the Mystic Arts, all air seemingly leaves my body as I witness the destruction this second wave on Beijing has caused. It's in even more ruins than D.C. is, looking like the set of an apocalypse movie. I don't even know where to begin, where to send my soldiers, where to focus our attack. The Kree are everywhere. I feel frozen.

"What's your order?" My father asks me, standing just a foot behind me.

In D.C. I had just helped out Baba defend the Capital building, I just listened to the orders he had already given. Yes, I gave orders up on the ship, but Baba was leading the soldiers, he was making the major decisions. But now I'm down here and he, as well as everyone else, is looking to me to guide them. And I have no idea what to do. Being up on a ship and being down on the field are far different things. What if I send them to the wrong place and I put them in danger, what if innocent people, my people, die because of me.

It shouldn't be me calling the shots, it should be Baba. I'm not the right person to be leading everyone, here on the battlefield, and on the throne.

"What do you think we should do?"

Baba gives me a puzzled look. "Zy—"

He's cut off by the roaring sound of Wakandan ships as they flood out of portals opened in the skies. The moment they appear however, they are overwhelmed by this second wave's forces, most of which are made of Kree aircraft. The Kree ships move their attention to our ships instead of the government buildings, the skies becoming a multicolored light show, explosions and blast fire filling the already smoke filled air.

"Break off!" I yell into the coms. "Get out of there!" I beg, watching in horror as my pilots get blast to smithereens by the Kree ships.

"We're going to go above the clouds, we need a better visual if we are going to—" Aunt Okoye's words are cut off. I feel a breath catch in my throat as I watch a Kree accuser ship fire at a group of Wakandan ships, all of which explode on impact, nothing but slivers of vibranium remaining that slowly fall from the sky.

"A-Aunt Okoye?" I ask, my voice a broken whisper, my heart pounding so loudly in my chest I can hear it in my ears, which are beginning to ring.

No. No she can't be dead, she can't be. I ask for her again in the coms, then again, and again until my voice comes out as a yell. Tears fills my eyes, my chest heaving as the reality of what's just happened begins to set in. I look behind me to see Baba crying as well, and the sight sends me falling to my knees. I knew it, I knew I wasn't meant to be a leader. Break off? Get out of there? What kind of orders are those? If I was a good king I would have given the pilots orders that would have saved their lives. Aunt Okoye is dead because of me, those pilots are dead because of me. This solidifies what I've always known: I'm worthless, I'm nothing compared to Baba. I'll never be the king he was. I'll always be second best to him. His worst is better than my best, that much is perfectly clear. Stupid, incompetent, useless. I'm useless. I'm—

Baba's hands grip onto my shoulders, shock and anger in my father's eyes. "What nonsense are you saying? You can't possibly believe any of that."

I didn't realize I had said any of that out loud. I've never told Baba about any of my insecurities about myself and about being king, because how could I? He'd tell me I'm just overthinking things and say how wonderful I am. He wouldn't have helped. He would have been comforting, compassionate, wise, he would have known exactly what to say. It would have made me feel worse. I'm preparing myself to feel worse right now.