Fear Evan Hansen

10

If you get the reference I make in the middle of this chapter, I love you.

Jared's POV:

I went home. I took my pills. And now I'm walking back into the hospital. I watched as...Zoe?

I walked up to her. "Hey?" We looked at each other. She looks as if she saw a ghost.

"O-oh! Hey Jared! Why are you here...?" Is she fucking serious. Why wouldn't I be here?!

You treat him like shit. Of course she wouldn't expect for you to be here.

Oh. "Because I've been here with Evan for the last hour. And I'm an amazing friend." She rolled her eyes, turning back to the sign in sheet to be able to visit her...boyfriend. He's hers. I forgot.

"Weren't you the one who said you guys were 'family friends'?" She put her name and the date on the paper, the satisfying noise of the ball point pen disappearing as she sat it down. "And you're visiting him for what? Car insurance?" She walked towards his room.

"Do I need to sign back in?" I looked at Heidi behind the counter. "No. You're free to go." I ran after Zoe after Heidi spoke.

"Fuck off, Kleinman." She turned to me with a toxic glare. "No."
"Evan doesn't need you. And he doesn't want you either. So leave him alone."

She does have a point.

"How do you know?" I shot back, getting closer to her.

"Because he told me. He told me every. single. thing." He really betrayed me like that. Telling her I wrote the emails. Telling the truth.

Welcome back to Watch Mojo where we are counting down the top ten anime betrayals.

Shush.

"He told me that he hated you." Her voice lowered. Time almost stopped for a moment. And everything is quiet. Just the sound of my heart in my head.

"What...?" I squeaked out.

"You heard me." She turned, entering Evans room with a smile, like nothing happened. If you listened close enough, I bet you could hear my heart shatter into a billion pieces.

I'm just gonna go.

Good. Leave me like the last person did.

Quiet.

It's like silence, but not really silent. Like the sound of a page being turned in a book. Or a pause in a walk in the woods. Just that still sort of quiet.

And though the people around me, even though their mouths are still moving, the words they're trying to speak can't reach me anymore.

"Sir?!" A nurse stood in front of me.

"Sorry." I snapped out of it. "Are you ok?" No. Not at all. "Yeah." My own mouth betrayed me. "Are you supposed to be somewhere?"

"I wish. Just, never mind. I shouldn't be here. I'll be leaving now." I walked out of there, completely defeated.

"Jared?" Heidi spoke, yet I ran out the door. It made a satisfying 'whoosh' noise as it swung open and closed.

I ran down the road as fast as I could, carrying my tired legs across the concrete. I don't know where I was running, but I knew that I needed to run.

Take a breather. You can't just run this much without a break.

Shut up. It's my mental breakdown and I can do what I want!

Suit yourself. But if you pass out on the side of the road, I get to say 'I told you so'.

Fine. I don't even care anymore.

Edgy teen much?

Just shut the fuck up. I'm not stable enough for this right now.

Did you purposely run to a Star Bucks, or was that a coincidence?

Coincidence. But I'm still getting something.

I looked at the ground as my feet slowed to a stop about five feet from the door.

Are you gonna go in or...

I take a shaky breath and I prepare. I pushed the glass open with my elbow, going up to the counter without making eye contact with anyone. "Tall strawberry refresher with lemonade please." I mumbled, realizing that my hood was covering my face.

"Alright. One tall strawberry refresher with lemonade. Anything else?" They sound familiar. I decided to treat myself. I've been through a lot. I deserve it.

"A chocolate chip cake pop."

"Oh, hey Jared. What's up?" It's Damien. "Nothin much. Ya' know. The usual. Finding out my best friend hates me after he tries to kill himself. Then getting in a fight with his girlfriend. Normal things."

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You're amazing and I love you, but how the hell do you get yourself into so much...so many- Crazy situations?!" He laughed as he grabbed a cup, writing my name on it.

"I don't know honestly." I shrugged and leaned my arms on the counter. "So? What's up with you, man?" I asked him.

"Well, me and Janis are gonna hang out later at my house and watch Beetlejuice. So that's pretty cool. But that's pretty much it." He poured something into my cup and put the strawberries in, along with some ice.

He grabbed a cake pop and slid it into a paper bag. "Here you go. If you ever need me, just gimme a call. Bye!" He said, handing me the stuff and smiling. "Bye." I echoed as I grabbed my stuff and walked out.

I took a large sip of my drink, walking back to the hospital. Not that I already miss him, I just need to go pick up my damn car that I somehow forgot about.

I picked up speed, clutching onto my drink and my cake pop. If I die from heat exhaustion, then I guess it's fate. Evan doesn't even want me alive. So why should I stay here?

Why should I stay in this place where I only feel agony and pain.

I was growing near the hospital, seeing my PT Cruiser in the parking lot. I didn't even lock it when I tried to go back in, it was stupid on my part.

But I opened the door, sliding into my car and turning the key that was already inside of it.

I closed the door and just sat there. Not doing a thing. Just staring. Staring no where in particular.

Until my phone softly buzzed in my lap. I picked it up without checking the contact.

"Hello?" I asked, trying everything in my power to keep my voice steady.

"JARED LEE KLEINMAN. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!" My mom screeched on the other end, making my whole body flinch violently.

"U-uh- I- Uhm-" I stammered. God fucking dammit words, why would you stop working right now?! My mom let out an annoyed groan. "Just use your god damn words. Think about what you're gonna say first."

I panicked. "N-n-no- I- Uh- I just- I didn't think you would be home this soon-" I ended up getting some sort of a sentence out.

"Why wouldn't I be?!" Is she being serious?! "You're not home normally, why would tonight be any different?" I gained back the slightest bit of confidence.

She didn't answer. Instead she said "Where are you?" again. "I'm driving home. I was just getting Starbucks." I told the truth for once.

"Whatever, just get home, and quick. I love you honey." I was about to hang up, until I remembered what she said at the last part. "I love you too, bye mom." Then I hung up.

I put my phone in my pocket, resisting the urge to scream as loud as I could. As a substitute, I hit myself on the leg. Bad decision.

I groaned loudly in frustration, pulling out of the parking lot and whipping into the road.

Aight'. So the chapters are gonna be shorter now. Sorry ig. But that means that there's gonna be more chapters coming out quicker. So that's good.