A BounPrem Fanfic: MONOMANIAC

1. Collapsing Inwards

•••

"Prem..."

Boun knocked the door for many times. The boy inside the room refused to open it for him. The only thing Boun heard right now was Prem's sobbing sound. He wanted to do something. Not to help the boy, but to pay for his mistake. What he had said and done to Prem was unforgivable. Boun had no excuse but he could explain things.

"Prem, I love you," Boun kneeled down in front of the door. He stuck his cheek and ear to the door, trying to be as close as possible with the boy. "I really do..."

Boun knew that those words would not erase his ungratefulness. Yet, it was the only thing that he could do. He only wished for Prem to give him a chance to meet again. He believed that they can talk and do better together.

"Prem..."

Suddenly, the crying sound stopped. Boun could hear the footsteps moved away from the door. At the same time, Prem's Mom giving Boun a spare key to open the room. He entered the room slowly while calling Prem gently. His eyes dilated and widened, directed toward the window. There was Prem, sitting on the window frame, staring at Boun.

Prem's Mom who was following Boun inside, gasped. She muttered his son's name, nervously, cautiously. "Prem... Luuk..."

"Prem, move away from there. Come here. We can talk about us." Boun persuaded the young boy. The silence Prem gave him made him aware that his words did not work out. "I'm wrong. I'm a bad person. I'm not a good boyfriend. Please, move away from there."

"I'm not crying anymore..." Prem mumbled.

"Luuk..." Prem's Mom was on the verge of crying.

"Prem, I'm wrong. I know. I will make it up to you. Come back here and talk to-"

"P'Boun," Prem smiled after calling Boun's name. "I forgive you."

"No." Boun refused it right away. A sudden fear came to him. "Prem, No..."

"I forgive you, P'Boun..."

"Prem..."

The next second, only Prem's Mom's hysteric screaming filled the room. Boun was glued on his place. His eyes enlarged, they looked like they almost detached from the eye socket.

Other people in the house rushed in and called an ambulance. Prem's manager and the housemaid took care of anything while Prem's Mom was still crying.

What happened? Boun could not believe what he just witnessed. I told him I loved him, why can't it reach him? Boun asked himself.

The moment when the ambulance arrived, Prem's Mom accompanied Prem. She still sobbed, but already felt relieved since his son was still alive. She looked at Boun and invited him to go with her, but Boun did not say anything. In the end, he did not go.

Patty explained that the grass on the ground was a great help, also the distance from the second floor was not too far. Clearly, Prem hit his head so hard but he was alive.

"If you are still in shock, you can wait at your house," Patty offered him. He had to go to hospital soon.

"I forgive you, P'Boun."

The last smile from Prem, what was the meaning of it? Why did he forgive him? Boun could not be at ease. "I'm going with you."

•

Before his career went up like a rocket, Boun had this trouble sleeping. Many times, he considered going to therapy. Everything was cured when he met Prem, getting to know the young man, an befriended him. At that time, Boun knew that maybe, all those sleepless nights were signs that he was lonely yet he did not aware of it.

Everything went well. Even when Boun fell in love with Prem, being rejected, until he finally could make Prem loves him back. Was not it everyone's dream to be loved by the person they loved?

For Boun, it was like a nightmare. He did not see it coming. There was so many change that turned his life upside down. Of course, in negative way. The relationship exhausted him.

"Why are you like this, Prem?"

"If you think I'll be like this to anyone, then you are wrong." Prem answered as he walked away from Boun. "Hurry, P'Boun. Take me home."

"Prem, the event is not over."

Prem, with his drooped eyes, looked at Boun. "Let's go home."

There was just one moment that Boun recalled. It was when the kids from WS studio held a party. That time, Boun and Prem already in a relationship for 6 months.

"P'Boun..."

Boun turned his head to the direction of the voice. There was Prem, visiting the bar where Boun was reuniting with his university friends. "Prem...?" He was stunned.

"So, you are lying to me."

Boun hurriedly came closer to Prem. "I can explain na. Go to my house and stay in my room. I'll be home soon."

The answer was 'yes', even without Boun explaining about it. He had lied for few times. He could not just stick with Prem. He wanted freedom to interact with many people.

Why did the Prem that he adores before change? What did Boun do wrong in the process? All Boun could think on the way to hospital was just those questions which popping out of nowhere inside his head. The more he thought of it, the more pain he felt in his chest.

The pain was glitching. A love he felt for Prem was not big enough to kill himself for the sake of the younger man. Nevertheless, Prem's love for him which grew later than his was that great so it could push Prem to the sharp edge of life.

"P'Ty," Boun changed his mind. "You can drop me off at the first interchange."

"Huh?" P'Patty was confused. "Do you need to go buy something at 7-11 or want to go to restroom? I can take you the-"

Boun shook his head. "I'm not going to the hospital."

•••

The question "what happened" in our head right now is a fine beginning of this story.

Welcome and enjoy the ride! ;)

xoxo,

dedededeva 💋