Calum's Boy (CAKE)

#34

You ever get that feeling of never falling in love?

Or never claiming yourself to be human because you're not like everyone else?

Well stop.

It's okay to be yourself

and yeah, no one said it was easy

but sometimes you've got to stop listening to what other people have to say or what you think other people are saying about you.

I've come to conclude (from one of my uni courses) that maybe life isn't about fitting in, but possibly -in the slightest chance- it's about understanding who you are.

High school was a definite no go without Calum.

I got lost in my mind, but Calum created a path and helped me out of the maze.

It wasn't just the I love yous because Dev has not once told me he loved me but he did help me get several of my paintings into a museum in London. Quite the travel from my home in Leneva Victoria.

It was Dev who set my path in who I want to be.

Because helping people like myself has become a task I'm willing to accomplish.

So, I took up some psychology classes once school had started

and Calum supported me the whole way through.

And though Calum was amazing at keeping me company, I missed Ashton.

Maybe it was the talks with Dr. Gouon that sent him away.

Dr. Gouon sent a lot of things away.

Possibly for the better.

Possibly for the sake of me scraping my life together and picking up the pieces with Michael and helping me come to befriend myself.

I have never seen Calum this happy since I said yes to being his boyfriend almost two years back or the first time we did the deed.

And sometimes I smile because when he thinks I'm sleeping, I catch the culprit turning off the night light I once let go of.

Sometimes you can't let go of everything at once, mum taught me that.

She said sometimes you have to face your demons.

And I tell Calum this everyday.

Because it's days like this when they're the only things glowing bright.

and I told her that maybe they're only glowing because the hell you've been through has been too much.

And fuck mum.

My demons have seen the light.