Shirakumo: Starting Over

Chapter 1: The Awakening

Darkness. There was nothing around me. I was drifting in a void of nothing, unaware of what was up or down. I stopped trying to fight against it. Instead, I just closed my eyes and floated into the unknown for what felt like an eternity. Hugging my knees close to my chest, trying to provide a shred of comfort in this prison I call home. It all happened that day, the day everything changed. Shota and I were on a mission when I was hit by a rock, and I-I....

... I died...

I thought that was the end until I was brought back to life by a man and a doctor. I thought he was my savior, my hero, but then he did something to me. He twisted my body to fit his own needs and made me a monster. Nomu, he called it. The foreign body keeping me hostage in my own skin had a fun little name, like that's supposed to make any of this better. I fought it, at the beginning, but I could never make it out of that dark void. So, I stopped trying, I let the powerlessness consume me, and I gave up. The only thing I had was the memories of my friends to keep me from losing my sanity. Sometimes I wonder what they're like, all grown up. Nemuri probably went pro easily, any hero agency would be lucky to have her, even though she can be scary sometimes. Hizashi probably announces for sports games and T.V. shows, he always did love announcing for the shows we watched. And then there's Shota, he's probably the most unpredictable of the group. Shota always lacked self-confidence, everyone could see how amazing he was, everyone but him. Which makes him my favorite to guess. I like to think he became number one hero and kicks ass next to All Might and all the other heroes. Yeah, that's what I want to think about. My friends all grown up. Honestly, I just want to them to be happy. The thought of them smiling and the sound of their laughter, it's the only thing I have left. Or at least that's what I thought. I thought the rest of my life would be spent reliving my memories in a void of nothingness. Then I heard it. A mumbled cry. "Let's all become heroes together!". Wait that's- SHOTA!

Shota! I'm here! I'm right here! I scream so loud my throat hurts. No response, was it my imagination? No, it was him I know it. I must see him; I have to make him hear me. I have to fight! I thrash, moving more than I have in years. Then I open my eyes, and I see him. Shota and Hizashi, my best friends. They look different, but so do I.

"Sh-Sh-ah" I tried to say Shota, guess I'm weaker than I thought. Then I feel it, the cold, lifeless, obedient thing trying to claw its way back out of me.

"Fight it!". I hear Shota yell threw the glass dividing us. I'm trying. I don't have much time. I don't want to go. I have so much to say, there's so much they need to know. That doesn't matter now, they need my help. They need information, and I have it. They need to know who turned me into this thing.

"Hos-pital" I mutter just loud enough so they can hear it. The hospital is where that doctor works. The doctor can lead them to him. That man. That terrifying man. The thought of the horrifying grimace he had when he looked at me sends a shiver down my spine.

The sound of tears snaps me out of my never-ending thoughts, and I see Shota crying. Tears streaming down my best friend's scruffy face. Don't cry Shota. Please don't cry. I open my mouth to try and comfort him, but no words come out. Think, what would I have done when I was younger? It seems like lifetimes ago. When the only thing we had to worry about was saving abandoned cats and deciding what hero agency we were going to apply for. God, I wish I could go back to those days. I wish I could go back to be that smiley kid who could make my friends smile. Everyone went quiet as tears started streaming down my face. I look through the puddles quickly forming in my eyes, at the shocked expression on my friend's faces. The combination of shock and sadness on their faces, it's like they thought I was incapable of feeling. Like I had no emotions, maybe that would make this easier. Maybe if I was an emotionless, mindless, drone I wouldn't have to face them. Shota and Hizashi crying because of me, and I can't do anything to stop it. The thought of being so useless makes more tears stream down my face. I need to do something, I need to- to-....

Smile

Smile, I need to smile. That's what I would have done when I was younger. I would have looked at them and given them the most contagious smile I could muster. I try to smile but my face just ends up contorted into a small half grin. The sight makes Shota and Hizashi go silent. I can't tell if it was a good or bad silent, but then Shota smiles, tears still streaming down his face. I remember that smile, every time he would smile it would be like clouds dispersing to reveal a beautiful summer sky. I could sit and watch it all day. But I can't. I want to so badly. I want to stay and stare at that sad scruffy smile forever. But I can already feel that monster climbing its way out of me, trying to stuff me back into that dark place. I should feel scared, but I don't. For the first time in what feels like forever, I'm not being controlled by my fear. Instead I feel hopeful. Hopeful that maybe, one day, I'll be me again, just me. And even if I'm trapped forever at least I got to see my friends again, at least I got to see his smile one last time. And with that I closed my eyes and let the nothingness consume me. When I open my eyes, I was back in that dark place, all alone.

Bye Shota.