Rough [H.S]

Chapter 59

Louis parks in the driveway and shuts off the car engine.

"See you later!" He says.

"What?" I ask.

"You guys are coming for supper tonight I think" 

Oh f'uck that's today...

I step out of the car with the orange envelope and grab my bag.

"What's that?" Louis asks me. I look up at him and don't know what to say. He knows what it is. I ignore his question and walk through my grass to my front door. I turn around to see if Louis is still outside but hes alreadys in his house. Grabbing my keys, my phone starts to ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi Honey, we're eating at the Tomlinsons tonight but im running a little late, would you mind if I met you there? I'll only be 15-20 minutes late but I feel bad and don't want to make a bad first impression." My mother asks. I really don't want to go over alone.

"Sure, take your time! Don't worry im sure they won't mind" I reassure her.

"Love you baby"

"Love you"

We hang up and I walk inside the house. Quiet. My mind has been going crazy and I need silence. 

I have about 30 minutes until our supper so I decide to hop into the shower first. Walking up the stairs I have the envelope in my hads and don't know what to do with it. I place it on my desk along with my bag and get undressed.

My mirror is right in front of me and I can't help but look at myself. This is what Harry saw. This is how he met me. This is who I was introduced as. A complete different interpretation of who I really am. 

Before I know it I have tears running down my face. I made one mistake a year ago and it has managed to follow me this far. Why did I send that picture. What was I trying to prove? What was going through my mind? This wasn't like me.

I walk to the bathroom and start the hot water in the shower. Harry and I are over aren't we? There's no going back now. He goes against my values. He was what every girl is scared of. I think he did one of the most heartless things. What were they thinking?  I step into the shower and a memory from when Harry and I bathed together pops up. We talked about what we wanted to be when we were older. I assumed we were going to live it together...

I feel like I haven't really come to terms with what has happened. I feel let down. Our first moment of intamacy felt so special to me but what was it to him? Is this who he has become? Is he still who he once was? Should I be angry for something that happened years ago or should I forget about it?

So many questions and nobody to answer them. 

After washing my body I grab a towel and wrap its warmth around me. I sit on the toilet and grab my phone. I call live.

"Hey Liv"

"Hey Jess, everything okay?"

"Yeah, can I come over tomorrow?"

"Of course, I finish work at noon is that good with you?" She asks.

"Yes, see you tomorrow" and we hang up. I have to talk to her about it. I need answers, I need a friend.

I dry myself up and grab a pair of loose beige pants with a tight light pink top. I apply a little mascara, with my mouth open of course cause who can put mascara on normally? Nobody. 

Its almost time to meet the Tomlinsons so I go downstaires and put my shoes and jacket on. 

Louis was even a part of this. Has he seen the picture? How embarrassing... 

I open the front door, take a deep breath and walk across the grass and up their stairs. I knock on the door and Louis answers.

"Hey again" he says as I walk inside.

"My parents got held up at work but they should be here in like 20 minutes tops! They called your mom to tell her she didnt tell you?" He asks.  I guess she forgot.

"No, my mom is running late too, I'll just go wait at home" I add and grab the door.

"No, no point in that just wait here. We could talk in the meantime, get to know eachother."

I feel bad declining his offer so I nod my head and accept as I sit down and pull my shoes off.

"Harry couldn't make it?" Louis asks.

"Were actually not together anymore" I look away and take a deep breath.

"Ah" He adds

"Whats that supposed to mean" I ask

"Nothing, come we'll go to my room while we wait" Louis says.

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xx

MANDY