earning it back // chaelisa

chapter 15: before thanksgiving

As it turns out, falling asleep tangled in someone's arms and waking up to that soft, warm scent of perfume mixed with slumber can be more addicting than any hard drugs in the market.

Chaeyoung hadn't realized that before Lisa. No one has ever stayed in her life long enough for her to be comfortable with the idea of sleeping through the night with them, and Chaeyoung had told herself she enjoyed having the bed all to herself so many times she actually started believing in it. Having a sweaty body pressed against hers all night and being greeted by morning breath when the sun came up sounded like a bad marketing strategy that only worked for Hallmark movies.

But then, Lisa came back into her life. And suddenly, napping together after sex before putting her clothes back on and going home to her huge bad wasn't that appealing anymore.

She had her first hit on the day after they went out to a bar. Lisa had assured her she didn't need to go back to her place that night, that Jake would be at Jennie's until the next afternoon and, if Chaeyoung didn't mind, she'd like to stay the night — oddly polite and formal, a clear sign that Lisa was nervous.

It hadn't taken much more for Chaeyoung to nod and pull her back to bed, half eaten pizza forgotten in the living room, fingers seeking warmth and purchase once more. Chaeyoung had stopped counting after coming for the eighth time, and then Lisa had brought her water in bed, tugged the blankets over them, adjusted their bodies until her chest was pressed against Chaeyoung's back, thighs and knees fitting together like puzzle pieces.

The care in those soft touches had nothing on the way Lisa had looked in the morning — furrowed brows against the morning light, sleep clinging to her words the same way her hands clung to Chaeyoung. Her skin felt like home against Chaeyoung's, their morning breath a forgotten memory after the third sleepy kiss.

The hours they spent together that morning had revealed more about Lisa than the past few months combined. With the warm bed stripping them from their defenses, they had been safe to be themselves in this bubble in time — and oh, Chaeyoung had loved what she'd found out.

First and foremost, the stoic facade that Lisa kept up all through the day turned out to be a hoax, at best. Between their good morning kisses and getting up in search of food, Lisa hadn't let go of Chaeyoung. Be it an arm thrown around her middle, ankles hooked together, fingertips tracing odd patterns on arm, lips finding warm skin to kiss — it seemed like Lisa had to be touching Chaeyoung at all times, a physical reminder that she wouldn't vanish in thin air.

That had been her favorite discovery. But every detail had a way to tug at her heart, to expand it and make more room to love this woman — Lisa mumbling secrets and court details she had thought about against her skin, the way her face scrunched up at the first taste of water in the same way Jake's did, her spine becoming a little taller with every sip of coffee. All the while, reaching for Chaeyoung, linking their hands, keeping her within her eyesight at the very least.

Chaeyoung had found that she didn't mind it.

No, the dull ache in her chest had less to do with the tenderness that mornings brought out in Lisa, and more to do with all the time they could have had this and lost to hurt and heartache. It's a throbbing reminder that the wounds they had inflicted on each other are healing — perhaps faster than it's comfortable, but they welcome it nonetheless.

When Chaeyoung wakes up with Lisa clinging to her like a lifeline for the sixth time in two weeks, she knows she'll never get tired of it.

The North facing window in Lisa's bedroom doesn't give Chaeyoung any  indication of what time it is, only that it's late enough in the morning for the whole room to be basking in the sunlight already. But it's Sunday, and time is nothing but an illusion on the weekends — her alarm clock is either her stomach grumbling for food or her treacherous body rejecting more sleep.