Beyond closed doors

13

I wake up when I feel like I'm being gently shaked. Most times when I wake up like this I'm utterly irritated and uninterested in any of the shit the person is going to hand me because I know there is no good reason why anyone would wake up a jobless pregnant woman. Yes pregnant woman after crying myself to sleep I now understand that there is a vile creature that will end up destroying my vagina inside me.

I look up to find Maimuna grining down on me. I don't bother to fake a smile but neither do I respond rudely to her.

I look beside me and find a tray of food besides me. There's croissants, toast, muffins,omelette, sandwiches, Fried chicken and a flask I assume is full of coffee so I reach for it first.

"Good morning dear" maimuna says with that crazy grin on her face.

"Good morning" I say pouring the contents of the flask into a mug.

"Congratulations " she says. I give her a fake smile and place the mug on my lips. As soon as the contents hit my tongue I open my eyes. stop and don't swallow. I almost spit the drink back into the cup but swallow it.

"What is this? It's not my coffee" I say sounding a little rude but can you blame me.

"It's a raspberry and peppermint tea. It's good for pregnant women." She says with a smile.

"Ahhh maimuna this tastes awful what happened to my coffee." I say my voice full of irritation.

"Yes because it's good for you and the baby" she says in a no nonsense tone. I keep the mug and grab a bottle from the fridge ain't no way in hell am I going to scarf down that disgusting peppermint and raspberry monstrosity.

She brings out an old photo album and opens it. I look at it and sit on my bed ignoring her and the food and lie down. It's crazy how I've been crazily hungry these past few weeks I thought it was just my eating disorder resurfacing but oh no it was just that I have a human in me. focus on the food in front of me. Why is there even so much? Is it because she thinks Now that I'm pregnant I'm going to be an impulsive eater? Atleast now I know why I've been eating like a pig. Now I'm going to get as fat as I used to be. My body is never going to be the same this thing is going to make me fat and ugly.

"Ayush...Ayush?" Maimuna taps on my shoulder. "What are you thinking about you just stopped chewing and focused on the waffle? Is there something wrong with it?" She keeps asking me questions. I just nod because let's be honest I don't think maimuna would be so keen on hearing what I have to say about her future niece/ nephew.

"This used to be my old photo album."she flips open the first page and I see an old monochrome picture of 3 people a very thin dark skinned woman, a young boy no older than 7 or 8 with a deep frown etched on to his face and finally a young doe eyed girl who looks 2 years old at most she's really slim and she's the only one who seems to be happy in the picture and smiling . The woman and the boy are wearing traditional clothes whilst the baby is dressed in a vest and a pant which seem rather dirty but I don't judge.

"This is my Aunt, Balaraba we call her inna" she said pointing to the woman.

"And well can you guess who this young boy is" she says urging me to answer. My brain of course knows it's obviously my stupid abusive dead baby daddy but I decide not to voice it out.

"Hashim" I say nonchalantly. Trying to hide the little anger I have towards her like bitch why the fuck are you showing me pictures of dead abusive husband who put me in this situation.

"And this is me" she says.

"Mmm okay" I say awkwardly because I didn't know what else to say.

"Here Hashim was 7 and I was 2 this was when we lived with our Inna. In her house at Kaduna after our mother passed" she says then laughs. " that house was awful!"

I look at her with shock written on my facial features. "Wasn't expecting that"

"Believe me that woman was terrible to me and Hashim you know she had like 5 children all bearly under 6 at the time and then my parents died s we went to her. That woman hated us! But it's all in the past now isn't it" she said smiling. " when I was 6 she used to deprive me of food every time I came hom with left overs of what she made me hawk for her."

" Inna was a considerably poor woman so she made me and her children hawk for her while Hashim and the boys would follow her husband out and learn to make bricks."

She opened to another picture which showed her and 3 other girls smiling with hawking trays on their heads.

"We were lucky enough to be allowed to go to school but that's where all our luck lied. Immediately we come home she fed her children but gave me the commodities to hawk. We came home always around 6 in the evening and if i didn't make enough she'd make me sleep hungry" she said with a smile. Strangely." But What she didn't know was that I never did sleep without eating well I bearly did because I had Hashim and he always made sure I got something to eat even if he didn't" she said.

"Hashim wasn't a bad man he just had no one to teach him how to be a good boy. He was forced to grow up." She said and a tear fell. "He became a father before he could even fully understand being a kid."

I felt like screaming at maimuna honestly why the hell was she showing me this and saying all this shit? So I could pity him. Hashim might have been an amazing father to someone else but he still hurt someone else's daughter. Maimuna was basically complaining with style to me. She says they had no money they were poor and shit yet she ended up married to some rich hot shot she claims to be the love of her life. While me? I grew up in riches money isn't something I give a damn about but love,loyalty, care, commitment I've never had any of that. She suffered physical problems and now she's all heeled with faint scars. I had my family ripped away while they were still in front of me I have emotional scars that will never heel. Maimuna carried on showing me pictures of her relatives and siblings and whatever shit that her family went through. She showed me pictures of her daughter Kausar and Hashim and claimed he cried after holding for the first time. She gushed on and on about her brother and how much of an amazing father figure he was. Too bad she forgot he was a suckish husband.

A/N: hey peeps! Here's Another chapter from your fave Arianator can y'all believe she's engaged 🥺💍 anyways don't forget to
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