Beyond closed doors

25

Life goes on and we move with it it's been months since my mother and I have spoken. At first it bothered me in a way but I quickly made it a point to shoo away those thoughts. My fathers presence has always been ghostly in my life now even more so. The only people I speak to from my Family are Ya Fatima and Ya Abdullah, my younger brother has been forced to cut of communication from me by my mom.

The tabloids have eased but they're still nasty, but I've learned not to even read them because i cat pretend the words don't affect me. Like the latest post by ArewaTea.

ArewaTea : hello there sippers! It's your favorite tabloid back with the latest tea. As you all know evidently we haven't been getting the latest gossip about the one and only Zaddy's girl, our girl has somehow cut of society and social media. Who knows the reason for this. Maybe out of shame, maybe out of fear but it is quite evident that the young widow has nothing to share with us but on a related note, she was spotted afew days ago at a Chinese restaurant in the maitama district. Our sources reported that her belly has seemed to be protouding wildly that anyone in their right mind would either label her as pregnant or someone who spends a lot of time on dinner rolls. Anyways this news has caused a wild array of speculation like firstly who's the father of the baby? Is it the honorable Hashim Hakim, her late husband or someone else maybe an associate of some sort or another love interest? This reporter has lots to say on this matter nevertheless we're wishing you a safe delivery miss Shema. Wouldn't want anything to happen to our most interesting muse.

Everytime I read one of these articles I scoff at the fact that their loyal source is actually no one but Saffa my ex best friend. And the fact that they're calling me their most interesting muse. The most interesting thing I do is binge watch a series on Netflix in a day. I've become so huge over the past few months that I can't even see my feet. I haven't been able to check my baby's gender but I'm pretty sure it's a girl and I'll name her after Maimuna but give her a pretty middle name like Arya or something . I smiled at the thought. But being the size of an elephant had just so many positive aspects. I couldn't start university this year because well I'm a pregnant hippo who's obsessed with dark chocolate. I decided to take well a sort of gap year and apply to a university in September since I'm due in June. Ya Fatima gave birth to twins last month a boy and a girl I was so happy to meet my new niece and nephew at hospital because I wasn't allowed at the naming ceremony because of several reasons which I feel are pretty obvious.

"Ayush where's the remote" maimuna says sitting across me.

"It's on the mantle" I point."let me get it for you"

"No dear don't over exert yourself"

"Don't be silly Maimuna it's just a remote." I stand up and waddle my way up to the mantle with a little effort I finally get it. I turn around and holding the remote triumphantly but instead of maimuna coming to get it.
Instead she stands there paralyzed with a look of panic staring down at my pants. And that's when I realize their wet.

"Shit my water broke"I say and anty maimuna doesn't even reprimand me for cursing instead she leaves me standing there and goes and get the baby bag. She rushes me out of the house with trembling hands and after saying every possible pray she knows she drives us as fast as she can to the hospital. My contractions had already started and all I could do was look at her in amusement because I've never seen maimuna so nervous.

When we arrive to the hospital they ask for my husband or mother which maimuna took care of. I was rushed into an empty ward and the doctors start doing some shit with needles I look over to maimuna who's fidgeting nervously "hey could you call my mom and ya Fatima just to inform them" I manage to say through the pain.

She gets her phone and rapidly dials Ya Fatimas number and she answers on the first ring they have a quick exchange and I've deduced that she's on her way.

Maimuna then dials my mother's phone. She called about 3 times before my mother finally answered. Maimuna told her that I was in labour and well my moms reaction shouldn't have surprised me but I atleast thought that if she heard her daughter was in Labour she'd atleast think about me. But I guess Hashim knew her better than me. "Why are you telling me this Maimuna? I told you she's dead to me unless she passes away while giving birth to the little devil then I don't see why you're telling me this." My mother said. Maybe if the broken pieces of my heart weren't already turned to dust maybe it would've hurt. But I just felt numb. Empty. Maimuna cut the call then stared at her feet awkwardly then built up the energy and then said "it's okay Ayush I'm not just your sister in law I'm your mother too darling" and I smiled at her which may have looked like a grimace because of all the pain I was going through.

****

Well after 7 hours of labour and a lot of cursing and crying. Ayyan Hakim graced the world. I was exhausted after pushing him out. I thought he was going to be a girl though. Thought I was going to have my own little Barbie guess I'll have to settle for ken. I couldn't really tell if he looked like me or Hashim because well he's a new born but maimuna said he looked like hash and ya Fati said he looked like but I knew it was bull because all babies look alike. I was discharged after afew days. I didn't want a huge naming ceremony because well of the situation. It was a really intimate event with just close friends and family. I extended an invite to my mother through my father which she refused but my dad came. My whole life was falling apart but in a way it was finally okay, Ayyan was both a blessing and curse. I didn't love him from the beginning but I will learn to fall inlove with him.

Don't forget to vote and comment