Shades of LOVE

A Conversation

This is the 2nd part of "Realizations That Comes Late". Read, and let me know your views on the story. This for all of you as this wasn't even planned.

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Darkness has always scared her. It has always acted as a painful reminder of the darkest nights of her life. Those cold nights where she slept fearing the invisible, yet had no one to cry or complain to. No one was there to listen to her or assure her of the safety. And the darkness only intensified those fears. 

But today it was something different. Maybe the guilt or maybe the pain; but for some reason, today the darkness didn't scare her as much as the fear of a hurt Shivaay. He was hurt and dejected cause of her misunderstanding and insecurity. 

Shivaay is a man who changed himself and became a completely new man for her and by her. He overcame all his pride, prejudices, and ideas and worked on himself for her. He learned to see the world through a newer perspective because of her. But could she do that? Even though she has tried, she failed. Sometimes, he didn't let her change citing he just loved the way she was. But her insecurity remained. Deep inside her heart and mind, crawling through her veins every second time they get a chance. They just crawl through her veins and her entire system whenever they can, consuming all her rational thoughts, overshadowing even that immense love and trust that she has, for him. Every time, hurting him in the process.

This scared her always. The thought that she might just hurt him beyond repair one day, all due to her insecurities, drives her insane. Especially at a time like this. When everything around her was silent and dark. 

A tear rolled down her eyes. She looked at her room again, immersed in deep darkness, the moonlight reflecting on the pool water seeping through the window offering a little light making the clock visible to her. Now that she read the time, she straightened up on the bed. It was reading 8 in the night. Shivaay never gets home past 7 since Shaanvika entered their lives. And, even Shaanvi should have announced her freedom from her teacher by now. But things were silent. Where are they? A sudden worry consumed her mind and she ran downstairs.

On hearing a light giggling, she followed the sound. The scene in front of her eyes made her happy, proud, and also teary. Did she truly blame him? For ignoring his daughter? The father who was all busy baking some pie for his daughter? Bathed in flour and milk. Both were so looking adorable smiling like this that she wanted to get a picture. It has to be a trick by Shivaay to make Shaanvi do something, thought Annika smiling looking at the mess in his kitchen. Smiling, she was coming back when she heard something.

"I love you smily papa. If you are smily smily, then I will pour the batter on you next. I don't need pie. I need papa smile." By now, their baby was sniffing yet she didn't move. She just stood there, rooted.

"Papa is sorry Shaanvi, for hurting my princess. I had some work and..."

"Shaanvi knows papa loves Shaanvi. Papa made the cake for Shaanvi. Papa is the best papa."  She spoke stopping her papa saying something more. 

"Papa truly loves you so much princess, I am sorry. I am so sorry." She still could hear their voices, now muffled most probably due to the hug. But she couldn't stand there anymore. His sobs hurting her deep within. All he did ever was to remove her fears and insecurity. To assure her that she was a good mother, no matter her fear or inexperience. But here, today he is questioning his fatherhood and she is responsible for it. She left for the room in silence, tears streaming through her eyes.