TRIP DOWN TO MEMORY LANE

CHAPTER 2

MAYARI LEI SALAZAR 

Isang linggo pagkatapos ng reunion, the day for my vacation have finally come. Finally, the pressure and stress from working non-stop will leave me for 2 weeks.

Marahan kong inihiga ang ulo ko sa sandalan ng airline seat at pinagmasdan ang mga ulap. Gusto ko talaga na rito sa may bandang bintana palagi.

Maganda kasi ang mga ulap. The feeling of being able to float in the sky can be felt more because I am looking at the clouds and sky that are so beautiful as it is touching the sunlight--- that's about to fall.

"Enjoying the view?" Sabi ng boses sa tabi kaya naman agad ko siyang nilingon. He smiled awkwardly to me and made a peace sign in his hand.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Sobrang boring kasi sa biyahe nang walang kausap."

"Oh, no! It's fine."

"So you're going to Palawan?"

Natawa naman ako sa tanong "Yeah, obviously."

"You're name is?" He asked. It's not really my thing to introduce myself to stranger, pero I am in vacation and in the good mood. Besides he just want somebody to talk to.

"You can call me, Lei." Nakangiti kong sabi.

"Lei, my name is Andrei, nice meeting you"

"So what brings you here, Lei?"

"Para magbakasyon lang. To unwind, to rest my mind and such."

"I see. Are you sure, you're not brokenhearted?"

"Are you asking that, para malaman na single at available ako?"

He instantly laugh at me, na parang may nakakatawang joke akong sinabi, since nakakahawa ang tawa niya natawa na rin ako. I thought that's what he wanted to know.

"No, not really." Sabi niya habang natatawa.

"It's just..."

"Just what?" tanong ko.

"It's just that, you look sad. I don't know? Looking at you feels like you're carrying lots of baggage at your back. Gano'n."

He reminds me of Jae... Jae, again huh? Bakit ba kasi siya nagpakita that day, punyeta rin kasi 'tong si Jhanary, hindi magtigil kay Jae no'ng reunion.

But he has his eyes, I hate this kind of people. People who can look beyond your appearance, I hate them because they are seeing something I am not letting other people to see because it is what makes me vulnerable.

And this Andrei here? He got those eyes...

"Really?" I asked while smiling but it made me terribly uncomfortable.

Bakit halos lahat ng makita ko puro si Jae ang naalala ko? As to what I remember I don't have the right to be this nostalgic dahil kasalanan ko naman kung bakit kami nagkahiwalay.

Nagkahiwalay ba kami? I mean, naging kami ba in the first place? What my mind is doing at the moment is absurd. I am absurd and irrational for thinking this way. Besides, kasalanan ko man o hindi, the fact the he left me, loses the chance of getting us together. All in all, it was his fault.

"Yes, and now... You're not comfortable." Alangan siyang ngumiti sa'kin.

"I'm sorry."  Dugtong niya.

"No it's fine." Pag-a-assure ko sa kaniya but honestly, I am not. I just want to say that it is dahil hindi naman niya kasalanan.

"So bakit ka pupuntang palawan?" Tanong ko.

"Ah, ako? "

"Oo malamang."

"To follow someone."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because gusto ko. To loosen up, na rin."

"In this age, we understand that adulting is not a noun anymore." Natatawa niyang sabi at sinabayan ko naman siya ro'n dahil totoo.

Its more of an action word, dahil ang daming responsibility at obligation na kailangang gawin. Nakakainis, yet fulfilling at the same time because we get to push ourselves beyond our limits.

"Kaya nakakalimutan na natin ang ibang bagay." Dugtong ni Andrei.

He sit straight in his seat and cross his legs.

"Tulad nang?" I looked at him.

"Like how you feel? Your passion, things you wanted to do, things that need some healing, mga gano'ng bagay."

I dare not to speak because I want to listen more. Andrei's so like him. The difference is that this guy is vocal. He at least let someone how he feels, unlike him who cannot open himself up or maybe he did for me but I just didn't care. 

"Kasi we're so busy fulfilling everyday tasks that we are becoming a puppet of our routine. We are so busy that we don't care about thing that we used to think as important." Nakangiti niyang sabi habang nakatingin sa kawalan.

"Is it a bad thing?" I asked.

He looked at me with his smiling face. "No"

"Then, is there something wrong with it?"

"Yes." I am surprise by his answer. Well, I just asked him out of whim. But is it possible? Is it possible for things not to labeled as bad yet still able to think that there is something wrong with it? Interesting.

"How so?" The whole flight is not boring thanks to this guy.

"Dahil lahat ng sobra nakasasama, gano'n din kapag kulang. So I think it will be more better to make your life balanced."  He answered.

"But getting the balanced in chaos is hard. That's why I believed adulting is a mess." Dugtong pa niya.

"Agreed."

"See? You're agreeing with me."  Natatawa niyang sabi.

The passenger in front of me stood up slightly, he pops his head so that we can see him, kaya laking gulat ko nang makita ko ang mukha niya.

"What the fuck is he doing here?"

"Huh?" Andrei looked at me with a confused reaction.

"W-what?" I asked him.

"What do you mean by what is he doing here?" Andrei asked, then looked at the guy's head in front of me.

"Sorry to interrupt you man, but can you lower down your voice. I'm sleeping." He said as if he doesn't see me here.

"Oh, okay, Man! Sorry to disturb you." Andrei speaks nicely and just gives me a smile.

"Seems we have to stop." He said. I just give him a smile and continue to look at the sky.

I spent the whole flight in silence and a question, what is he doing here? O kung bakit ba may pake pa ako?

Andrei stops talking to me, natapos ang flight nang hindi kami nag-uusap.

Probably this is also adulting, where most of young people will think that what we usually get in those conversations are friend but unfortunately we just got an acquaintance or worst none. Being naive was part of being young and I wish I still had naiveness in me, because sometimes, naiveness helps me to protect myself through pain. Like I wish I have never get to grasp a bit of knowledge about life. Only if I were naive, maybe I won't have been this way.