Melted: A MaxTul AU story

Chapter Twenty-Seven: When You Find Your Answer

Tul felt good. No, Tul felt great. He was finally able to laugh out loud like he had wanted to all morning--like he had wanted to ever since he had realized Max didn't hear him propose. He didn't regret what he had said, and if Max had heard him, he would have dealt with it on the spot. However, he knew Max wasn't ready for a proposal yet. Max probably didn't even know Tul was interested in dating him let alone marrying him.

But Tul was practically giddy at the idea. He felt good, despite the fact that his life seemed to be a dumpster fire at the moment. He felt good, no great, because he had such a clear direction now and because he had finally seen it. What he had thought he had seen glimpses of before. Interest. He could tell that Max was interested.

He immediately knew why Prin had called out to him this morning. Prin had looked both shocked and worried because, unlike Max, he had heard what Tul had said. He knew Prin was concerned about the abruptness and the timing of the confession. Mostly because there was really no time to talk about anything of this. He was already late to his meeting with Ann and Sukrit. At the moment, his personnel issues were more important than his personal issues..

Prin had also been very clear to Tul about Max's philosophy concerning mixing his work and personal life. Prin would be concerned about the effect on the team if Max withdrew from the project abruptly. Tul didn't want that either. He needed Max around and for him to be around Max to show the other man that despite the crazy that was his life, his feelings for him were genuine and deep and that he would do whatever needed to be done to have a real relationship with him.

However, he also had playing and replaying in his mind Prin's other warning that just because Max dated men didn't automatically mean that Max would be interested in him. Whenever he thought Max might be treating him differently—the consistent help and support he's received from him, their ice cream code, the tone of Max's outrage about his family's treatment of him, even the fact that Max texted him back last night—he had tried not to get too excited. He had tried not to read those things the wrong way. However, now he was sure he should be reading all of those things exactly how he wanted.

Max was interested in him. He was sure of it now. The man was just conflicted and extremely guarded, and he had every reason to be.

So Tul had decided that what all of this doubt and hesitation on Max's part deserved honesty and clarity from him. He couldn't really help Max any more than he already was, and in fact, he was really helping Pongpat not Max. It frustrated him how little Max appeared to need him, but he also knew that was also what he found attractive about Max. Max had a whole other interesting life that existed without him, and he admired Max tremendously for how he had carved out such a place for himself in the world. Tul looked up to him for that, for even though he was older than Max, he was still searching for such a space.

Tul thought that the least he could do to pay back Max's loyalty and friendship was to be honest with him. When it had hit him (and he had felt like he had been hit by a wave that morning) that he wasn't just in love with Max but that he wanted a life with Max, he decided that he needed to begin making that clear.

Thus, when Prin spoke and then subsequently tested the waters through his teasing of Preeda, Tul didn't try to change his expression as he would have normally. Instead, he allowed himself to just keep looking at Max as he had when Max was dancing. It had felt so freeing to be able to look at Max with all the love that he felt without constraint. And he had been rewarded for that honesty almost immediately because it was then that he had seen it. 

Max's surprise but also his breathlessness.

Tul had wanted to touch Max since the moment he had first seen him in the Shilapath lobby months and months ago. This morning had only increased that want, and he had walked towards Max as if compelled. The friendly open look that Max had whenever he talked to Tul before had been replaced by surprise, then confusion, and then anticipation the closer Tul had got and the more Max had read his face.