Manan - Hold My Hand

Chapter 18

Manik was sitting in his office as he recalled their conversation before and frowned at how he lost control of his anger.

He picked his phone and typed a message to his therapist to meet and shuts the phone as he leaned back on his chair closing his eyes.

He remembered the feel of her cold hands on his cheeks and opened his eyes startled with a small smile on his lips before he frowned thinking about how scared she would be for her hands to be that cold.

"Stupid... Stupid... Stupid girl.", Nandini slapped her cheeks lightly scolding herself as she leaned closing the door of her office.

"What was I thinking holding his cheeks and joking around when he looked so angry.", She scolded herself again before sighing.

" We are not going down that road again. He just cares for you as he does for all his close friends. You are not special. Stop getting excited by his little gestures.", She repeated to get it in her mind and took a deep breath as she started working again.

Manik drove to his therapist Dr. Marie's office after work and sighs composing himself before walking in.

"Manik Come in. What would you like some coffee?", Marie asked greeting him with a smile and he nodded sitting on the familiar chair he has been sitting on for years.

"I was surprised that you messaged to meet me today. You look for excuses to skip.", She said surprised he initiated on his own as she made his coffee.

" Cabir was bugging me and I needed to talk.", Manik reasoned looking around dreading his actions for coming here. 

She nodded forwarding him his coffee and sat on her chair in front of him.

" How's your health? Are you able to sleep well these days? No more nightmares?", She asked coming straight to the point and he nodded appreciating her for not dragging it.

"I was thinking about what you said earlier about my condition that it's all in my head and I will be fine if I initiated and trust the person. Is it true?", Manik questioned him a little curious, and Marie nodded.

"It is. Did something happen?", She asked taking out her diary to note it down.

"There's this girl. I met her around 2 months back, we are friends and I am comfortable with her. I don't know if I trust her completely but my body does. I don't have a problem with her touch surprisingly. When it happened at first I thought it was because I allowed it but now it feels normal even if she surprises me.", Manik said recalling the moments when she surprised him with her touch and he was absolutely fine and Marie smiles watching the smile on his face.

" That's good news. It's progress. It's been years since I last heard you say you are okay with someone else touch. You are still uncomfortable at times with your secretary so it's a miracle for you to trust someone so easily.", Marie said happy for him and Manik frowned a little.

" But I trust someone else too. I like her as a person but I am not sure if I am okay with her. I was too scared to verify it and find the wrong answer.", Manik said thinking about Navya.

" Manik you have to be patient. Remember it's one step at a time. Your condition is not like everyone else. You were born with it and it grew worse later on. Seeing you now like this is an achievement in itself.", Marie reminded him to be patient and he nodded in understanding.

" If you want my opinion then I feel like you should open up to more people around you. I think this is one of the reasons you are comfortable around this girl. For years you have shut yourself in fear of getting hurt but now take a step forward, talk to people. It's a way you can connect with them. Remember this is all psychological. It's all in your head only you can cure it. ", Marie suggested trying to explain to him about his condition and her thoughts about it.