Love Always: A Novel Inspired by The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Part 2

December 17, 2012

I don’t have much to say today but what I do have to say means a lot to me. I’ll start with the fact that yesterday, I studied for 12 hours straight. I didn’t get to take study breaks. This math exam is really important to me. Well, not so much to me as it is to my parents. They think that I won’t make it as a writer and need to learn math. I disagree.

My issue with Jordyn is resolved, I think anyways. Apparently though, Carmen and her friend saw him in an ice cream shop over the weekend. Jordyn left before they could sit down with him. They then proceeded to text him about why that was. He claims to have received a lot of messages. Then they called him 3 times. After that, Carmen walked to the CVS that happens to be right by his apartment. I am past the point of concerned about that girl. Now, I’m not saying that I haven’t been concerned but I am now more than ever. Jordyn seemed to be annoyed and that made me quite happy. I have some serious issues with Carmen and they are hard to explain.

I learned some new signs today. Charlotte was doing some research because she REALLY wanted to know what the sign for you’re welcome is. We had a fight yesterday. It was the stupidest fight in the history of ever. We were fighting about the proper usage of “ith” in the old english language. I was correct and I know this because I have studies old english before. “Ith” is meant to come at the end of an action verb. She put it after EVERY SINGLE WORD. I don’t understand how you can make that mistake. Its just not natural. I won after I called her a canker blossom and ultimately confused her.

Another thing I want to talk about is a new friend of mine. I call her Faun. Faun’s identity is a secret but she responds to me. She speaks as I do. I think of Faun as the embodiment of hope. There is so much wrong with her life but she hides it and pretends nothing is wrong. She is even better than me at it. I also know that Faun is clever. We have been emailing back and forth and I can’t track the emails to find out who she is. I think I have an idea though. I just want to make sure though before I go through accusations. I like to help Faun though. I think when I help her and answer her questions, it makes me think. I don’t think about bad things, I think about resolutions to the bad things. It makes it possible for me to know the solutions to her problems as well as my own. I go through a lot of what she goes through and when I think of a resolution for her, it brings my attention to my own problems. She is helping me as much as I am helping her. I don’t know if she sees it but it is true. 

On an entirely different topic, I am really pissed off right now. I know I shouldn’t be but I am. I’m trying to laugh it off. I am sure you heard about the shooting in Connecticut, the one where a man killed like 20 children? Well, if you have, you know that the man who did this was Adam Lanza. People still haven’t figured out why he did it. What I do know, as many do, is that he has one link to other shooters in recent years. He was a gifted child. I will now tell you what that means. A gifted child is someone who is highly advanced in academics. They are normally very calm but are very antisocial. Gifted ed students will do just about anything to avoid conversation unless it is needed. They are kind of like autistic kids but with the brain power of the late Einstein. I know all of this because I am a gifted student. I transferred to where I am now from a gifted center. I used to have friends that his under tables and read at dances. They were strange, but harmless. My problem is that people are now labeling gifted students as mentally unstable. They are saying it is a mental illness. We now have a stereotype but it ISNT TRUE. Not all of us are like that. Very few would ever hurt anyone. Sure, every now and then we snap and get a little, well, dangerous. You just have to wait a minute and we calm down. If Adam hadn’t had access to guns, he would’ve been fine. My parents don’t keep any guns in the house so I don’t have that problem. Yes, I have the potential to kill someone but I never do. Something else I know is why they do these things. I know because I have felt it. The police are thinking too far into it. Adam didn’t have a real reason, he was isolated! Our inability to communicate can make some of us aggressive. I have friends who snap at random moments, one of them threw a table at me once. Basically, no one was forcing him to talk to people when that was all he needed. I am forced to talk to people and that helps me to keep from becoming aggressive. Adam’s mother was practically encouraging the behavior brought from the bad side of being gifted. All he had to do was process information, all day. When we do these things we can find loopholes.