Internal Screams

An open letter.

To his new girl,

"Mahirap kalabanin ang first love"

You have said that straightly to my face. I nearly scoffed but I fight the urge not to.

Kung mahirap kalabanin ang first love, bakit nanalo ka na? Bakit ikaw na 'yong kasama?

You told me that he was referring to me as his "first love". His form of "once a upon a time", his "basis" and his "everything".

I loved him more than myself and anyone else. He was my moon that lightens up my darkest nights. He was my Achilles heel. I don't do fights but when it's all about him then I'm ready for war. He changed me.

And you came.

Panatag lang ang loob ko noong una. I am confident on what we have. Our foundation was tested and not a girl like you can destroy it.

Nagkamali ako. I don't know what happened. In a snap of second and a blink of an eye, you got my world.

I maybe the first girl he shared his heart with but you have him now. You have his eyes fix on you. He maybe promised the world to me but he's fulfilling it to you now. I may get the chance to know his dreams first but he chose to conquer it with you.

You are so lucky because he looks at you as his form of "happily ever after". Please, take care of him. Because you can always have him in the ways that I can't anymore.

Nanalo ka na. There's no even an existing competition because when he chose to give up on "us" and pursue "you", I know whatever the fight maybe, nanalo ka na. Tapos na. Wala ng dapat pang magkompetensya.

Alagaan mo sya. You may not know but he's random and unpredictable at times but you just need to double your patience and understanding. He's not clingy but he always wants assurance.

Give everything to him. I know you can be better than I am for he will not choose you if not. Just love him and I will be the happiest. Congratulations.