❝ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴜꜱ. ᴛᴡᴏ ᴋɪᴅꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴɢᴇʀ ɪꜱꜱᴜᴇꜱ ꜱɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢꜱ.❞
❝ᴀᴡ ꜱʜɪᴛ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴘᴏᴄᴀʟʏᴘꜱᴇ.❞
and that brings me to the final m...
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MY DAD HAD CALLED ME SAILOR for as long as I could remember.I was sailor and he was captain which eventually turned into cap. He came up with the nickname after realizing how much I loved the ocean.I felt at peace when I was there.Went surfing to clear my mind after a fight,Or went out on the boat with my dad or the pogues. now things have changed. None of my friends call me that name, they all have their one nicknames for me, Cam-bear for Pope, bonnie for jj, Cam's for John b, Mae or Mae-Mae for hunter, Sailor for my dad and Rynnie, or ryn is what Amelia used to call me. No one calls me that anymore, things have changed. everyone knows I love nicknames, I have them for everyone, John b is booker or bird. Pope is popesicle, JJ is clyde. And Kiara was princess. The last one hasn't really been a thing for a while. If I see her I either call her Kiara or Kie. Princess was because she was a kook by association. She didn't act like it though so I would call her it to piss her off. Now things have changed. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
february 26th 2019
it had been a few weeks and the divorce was finalized, As I predicted, my mother didn't even bother for custody over me and my brother. We got the house and she moved to god knows where. That was the nice thing, we didn't need to unpack or anything of the sorts, all we needed to do was get rid of my moms stash of drugs, me and hunter told our dad we'd "deal with it" which he didn't buy but gave up on. Which is how I'm here. At the chateau with the boys, getting higher than the clouds
While Pope watches.
"H-hey hey guysssss.." I giggled
"..Yeah?" Jj asked half asleep,
"W-we should t-throw a partyyyyyyy!!" I laughed and they all nodded
"No. No way am I letting y'all throw a party high." Pope said and we pouted
"Tomorrow?" He offered and I sighed dramatically
"Fine dadddddd.." I groaned
"My dad's gonna whoop my ass if I'm home late but none of you guys are anywhere near sober so I have-"
"H-hey.." John b interrupted "I-I'm sober." He patted his chest for emphasis and promptly burped which put me into another fit of giggles,
"Jesus Christ." Pope sighed
"You need a cold shower." He directed me towards the bathroom
"Heyyyy y-you can't do that a-against my willlll" i whined, cracking up and trying to breath i was laughing so hard. he rolled his eyes and then eventually, somehow got us all sobered up.
"Are you sure your okay?" Pope asked me for the 5000th time
"We're fine Pope-sicle, go work on your scholarship." I said we did our pogue shake as he grumbled about my nickname choice.
I were exhausted but I still asked John b: "Hey can I use your phone?" as, I kept leaving mine at my house.
"Yeah sure."he gave it to me, like he does every night and I called my dad,
"Hey pop's." I said, Sitting on the couch while the boys played video games.
"Hey sweets what's up?" He asked
"Just checking in." I said "are you okay?"
"I told you I'm fine pumpkin. You should go. Live your life okay? Don't always worry about me. Go have fun with your friends and if anything happens hunter will tell you okay?" I nodded, but then remembered that he couldn't see me
"Yeah. Okay." I sighed
"Love you sailor." He said and I smiled
"Love you too cap." We hung up and I laid on the pullout couch, watching as John b went to his room and jj came back from the bathroom, coming over to the couch i looked up at him as he looked at me expectantly
"yes?" i asked and he used his hands to make a moving motion, telling me to scooch over. i sighed, rolling my eyes but moved into the couch, opening the blankets as he slid in,
"you good?" he asked drawing shapes on my palm
"...i think so.." i said hesitantly
"whats up?" he asked, realizing something was actually wrong.
"i guess...it's just like all so...real. ya know? i mean i know my mom was a crackhead bitch and all, and my dad doesn't deserve all the bullshit that he went through with her but like..." he looked at me with pity, but also he understood. the same thing happened to him when he was six. his mom left. dad hit her and she couldn't take it, she dipped and i hate her for it, i hate her for it, i hate a woman i haven't even laid eyes on. why? because she put this boy through so much pain, he doesn't deserve this life, he doesn't deserve all the pain. he doesn't deserve any of it.
"i dunno, just pisses me off i guess." i concluded and he scoffed
"it doesn't piss you off. it hurts. it hurts really fucking bad." he told me honestly and i looked down.
"yeah." i whispered "she didn't even care jj." i said to him, tears welling in my eyes "she didn't try to stay with us, she doesn't care. she never did." the few tears rolled down my cheeks, i didn't have the energy to wipe them but i looked up at him.
"cam's.." he said pulling me into a tight hug, he pulled me on top of him and i cried silently into his chest.
"i'm so tired jj." i whispered through tears.
"of what?" he asked softly, playing with my hair, trying to calm me down.
"everything. it's- its too much. i'm tired of fighting, i'm tired of-of crying, i'm tired of the pain. when does it stop jj?" he looked at me with so much sympathy and hurt, hugged me tighter and said,
"i don't know."
a/n: damnnnnnn got a lil emotional this time ngl🥲 but were learning more abt cam and her family life here so thats a plus
