𝕄𝕒𝕪𝕓𝕖 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤~𝒟𝒶𝓋𝒾𝒹 𝒩𝑒𝒶𝓁

~*𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞-𝖘𝖎𝖝*~

******--------------------------𝙰𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚒'𝚜 𝙿.𝙾.𝚅.--------------------------******

Ashanti: Hey miss gurl why'd u tell me to come over?
"I have something really important to tell you."
She looks at me with a concerned look. I guide her into my bedroom so we can sit down and talk.

Ashanti: Girl tell me!
"Shhh! My sister is here, and I don't know what she'd think of me if she heard."
Ashanti: Bitch just tell me. Close the door or something.
I run over to the door, and quietly close it. Ashanti looks at me annoyed, gesturing for me to sit down.

"Okay...promise not to judge me, be mad, or tell anyone."
Ashanti: Promise...
"Alright this is gonna sound crazy, but ya know how Derek got into the fight with David right?"
Ashanti: Yeah?
"So I went to his house after, to take care of him and stuff."
Ashanti: Sis get to the point!
"Okay! I was like cleaning him up, and we like made out and stuff."
Ashanti: Is that seriously what you're going all crazy for? Cmon Ailani i think you're old enough to kiss boys. Why would i judge-
"I lost my virginity shanti!"
She goes silent. Oh god I hope she isn't mad at me. What the heck she probably thinks i'm a slut. It seems like it's taking her a while to process.

Ashanti: Wow...Wait you said you lost your-
"Virginity yes."
Ashanti: Oh. That's big. To Derek?
"Yes Ashanti, to Derek."
Ashanti: Wow. Girl...was it good?
My body un tenses, as I playfully push her shoulder.

"What the fuck I thought you were mad at me."
Ashanti: Girl you're sexual life is none of my business. I happy for you, but-
"Oh god I knew there was a but. What is it?"
Ashanti: Didn't you wanna...lose it to...David?
"Shanti what the fuck! That's so random I don't know why you're even bringing him up right now."
Ashanti: You literally told me you wanted to. I'm just saying. Nothing is wrong with Derek, but I know you really liked David, and wanted that special moment to be with him.

My heart heavies as I remember the times we had. I always spoke on Dai in a way that sounded like I wanted him to be my first everything. First hug, first kiss, first date, first relationship, first...ya know. I found out David didn't like me like that, and I decided that I liked Derek almost as much as I loved David. Derek was my first relationship which will always be really special to me...But David was my first friendship, and my longest. I don't feel like I treasured him enough as all of my other firsts.

Ashanti: I'm sorry for making you angry Lani...
"No it's fine Ashanti. I did really want that moment to be shared with David, but it's over now. I can't take it back.
Ashanti: Don't doubt yourself girl. As long as the moment was special, not forced, and you enjoyed it, then it's good. I hope my first is special.
"I hope so too. Im very happy about the way it went. I really do love Derek."
Ashanti: But you wanna be with David.
"Sheesh don't say it like that...I don't know how to explain it. Derek is a great guy and he makes me feel really special. It seems like David and I have drifted apart anyways.
Ashanti: Don't doubt your relationship with Derek just because you don't know how to feel about David.
"You're right I won't but I can't help but think about what you said"

I look at my vanity drawer. It's where I keep my piece of the friendship bracelet that I also gave to Dai. I haven't worn it in months. It reminds me of the day I gave it to him...The day I had...my first kiss. That was one of the most special moments in my life, but I never knew if he felt the same. Now it's years later, AFTER we got into an argument when he wanted to confess- Well get Brielle to confess, that he liked me.

Ashanti: Don't even think about him right now girl. Shake it off. Think about how happy Derek makes you.
"Yeah...he does make me happy. Thanks Ashanti."
Ashanti: No problemo.
"So. Do you wanna tell me what's been happening with Mattia?"
Ashanti: Uhh...we've just been talking a bit more. As friends ya know.
"Yeah OKAY."
Ashanti: Seriously. I mean...i'm not saying I don't want it differently, but what can I do about it...
Her smile starts to fade, as she breaks the eye contact between us.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"
She nods her head yes, as she climbs further into my bed, leaning against the headboard. I sit next to her, holding her hand, while we sit still for a moment.

Lol i love posting at night.

If you wanna hear the story with Ashanti start reading my other book :))

And i'm Jessica da coolest

PEACE YALL