The Fire in Our Souls

History

"What do you mean she's gone?" I yell as he tears apart the house. "I don't know, but her stuff is gone, she hasn't been home in days.." his sentence cuts off as he stares at the broken open box on the bed. "And that little bitch took all of my money." He throws the box across the room, it smashes to the floor leaving a hole in the wall. I stand in the doorway completely frozen. Thinking about my little girl, she left on her birthday and we have not seen her since. I remember the day she was born, it was the best day of my life. She came out screaming and crying but I've never seen something so beautiful. I watched as they put her in an incubator, hooking her up to tubes, right next to her brother, Alex. He died shortly after and I never told her about him. I wish I had, I wish I had left her father and took her with me. 

"What are we going to do?" I whisper, she looks over at me after running his fingers through his hair. He stops pacing in the room, his eyes like daggers. "Well if you weren't such a shitty parent, maybe she would still be here?"

"ME? The shitty parent?" I say louder than expected. I don't stand up to him, because who knows, one day he may just kill me. I walk down the hall before he can react, hiding in Callie's room. Her bed still sits along the wall, some old clothes strewn around the floor. I lay down on her futon, hearing a crinkle as I lay my head on the pillow. I slide the pillow out of the case and a small, crumpled piece of paper falls to the floor. 

Joanie, 

I know it's shocking that I left so suddenly. But I'm sure you know the exact reasons why. I knew you would find this letter eventually. I couldn't just leave it lying around since he would find it. I want you to know, I did not leave because of you, I thought for a long time about taking you with me but I need to do this on my own. I'm sorry I took all of his money and left without telling you but I knew you would try and make me stay. I need to figure out life outside of California, outside of the constant arguing. I will come back, one day. I can't tell you where I am going but until then, stay safe. I love you mom. 

-Callie. xo

She has never called me mom, never said she loved me before. Maybe when she was little but once she got older, it was all first names or nick names, avoiding the use of "mom" and "dad." I wonder where she went, I wonder if she's safe. I hug the small blanket she has. "I love you baby girl...always." 

As we did last Sunday, Henry waits at the table outside the office, his cane laying on his lap. He sits patiently, quietly, enjoying the view from his chair. He turns his head and begins to stand up as he sees me leave my room and lock the door behind me. "Ready to go?" I say as we begin to walk. "I'm always ready my dear." We make our way down the road and Henry holds the door open for me. "Why thank you sir." He smiles and shuffles in behind me. "Hey Henry!" The waitress beams as she sees him. "Ah, I see we may have another regular?" I send her a grin and head to the same booth we sat in last week. The waitress brings out milkshakes right over and sets them in front of us. "I know Henry's usual order but what can I get you?" She places her hands on her hips as I scour the menu. "Banana's foster French toast and a side of bacon please." She smiles and walks off to the kitchen. 

"Now my dear, tell me more about how you ended up at my motel in the middle of a rainy night in March? Shouldn't you be home with your family or in school?" He asks, slurping on his shake. "Well, you see.." I stumble my words, trying to organize my thoughts. "I left home, it was my eighteenth birthday that night and I knew I had to wait until I was a legal adult. I took all the money I could and everything I owned and ran. I didn't grow up in the best of circumstances. Frankly, I don't believe it was ever a happy place. I graduated school a year early so I could get out. So I left in the middle of the night, bought a bus ticket to wherever I could afford, and that was it. I got off here and walked until I found somewhere to stay." I swirl my shake in the glass. Henry sits back in his seat, observing, listening. He nods for me to continue.