The Fire in Our Souls

The Lonely Girl and the Empath

I roll over in bed, my eyes still shut from the full nights sleep. The sun creeps through the windows, making the dust in the room more apparent in the light. As I lay on the warm sheets, there's a soft knock at the door. I slide out of bed, my oversized flannel hangs off of one shoulder. I fix my shorts, pulling them down so they cover me. I peek through the door hole to see who is knocking. The older man from the front desk stands there, waiting, holding a tray with food. I slide the chain off and unlock it, slowly opening to see him. He smiles, the sun peering through the clouds. "I thought you might be hungry. Figured this would be better than corner story grocery food." He leans out the tray to hand it to me. I grab it, the smell of bacon emanating from the covered lid. "Would you care to sit with me for a bit?" He nods, taking his hat and jacket off. I sit at the small, circular table. He slides the chair out and eases into it, his hands falling together in his lap. 

"So my dear, what brings you to Seattle? You don't seem much of the traveler type and by the look of you on your arrival, you seem lost." He looks at me, his eyes are soft, his face calm but I can see the worn of his wrinkles. His smiles lines point to happiness in his life, but I can see the hurt in him, he has seen sadness. "I, um...I" I stutter, trying to find the words. "You don't have to tell me. I understand. You come from something harsh, traumatic. Whatever brought you here, brought you here for a reason. I read people, it's been something I've had throughout my lifetime. I feel things more deeply than most. Some sort of a gift to the other side, I sense things, those who have passed on before us." He stops, giving me a moment to take his words in. "What does that mean?" I ask, my mouth full of bacon. "May I hold your hand for a moment? I will show you." I nod, wiping my hand off on a napkin. I hold out my hand to him, he holds it one hand on top and one on the underside closing his eyes. We're quiet, I can almost hear the dust flying in the air, the room is still. The only sound is the air moving in and out of our lungs. He smiles, without opening his eyes at all, a grin from ear to ear. A small chuckle escapes his lips and his shoulders bounce up and down. I watch as the happiness drain from him, his smile falls to a frown, his body slumps back in the chair, almost lifeless. He opens his eyes, putting my hand softly on the table. He runs his hands through his silvery hair, sighing while looking at the ground. 

His silence is deafening, the only things to go on are his expressions. He stays this way, finding the words. Finally, he breaks the barrier between us. "You have been through much sadness, but there is someone, somewhere looking out for you. Someone you do not know, you have not been told about. Someone who has been with you from the very beginning of your existence but did not make it into their own. They have seen what you have gone through, but they have pulled you out of Satan's grasp." My lungs let out a sigh as if I was unable to breathe before. "Now my dear, I do not believe in a God, or a powerful being above who conjures our every existence. I believe in the cosmos, the aligning of our universe to create a Big Bang. The moments we cherish, the moments we push down so deep we forget they ever existed. In this, we cannot decide the good or the bad that happens to us, they do. I know what your parents did to you, your father. I know what he did to you when you were unable to stop it. I know how you felt. But there is someone here for you, someone watching over you. And they cannot prevent what happens. They gave you this opportunity, and much more that will come, believe that...believe me." He leans forward now on the table, taking my hand in his again. 

"Callie..." His voice soft now, almost breaking. His hands are slightly shaking as he holds mine. I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. "You had a twin brother. He died shortly after he was born. He had a heart defect that didn't allow it to work on it's own outside of the womb. Once the connection was severed, he had moments to live and he stayed next to you. Your bodies close and hands touching as he took his last breath with you. And he has been watching over you since." In this moment, I lost it, I hold both of his hands in mine now. Our eyes full of tears, they fall off our faces like a pouring rain off a rooftop ledge. We sit there for a moment and our tears turn into laughter, a slight giggle between the two of us. He smiles at it feels like the darkness has left me. 

Our hands let go and I turn back to my breakfast, sniffling and wiping my eyes. "You know, this isn't a proper breakfast. How about I take you to Sally's? They have an amazing breakfast spread and I could use the company." He stands as he talks, shuffling to the door grabbing his hat and jacket. "Sounds great. Let me change quickly and I will meet you out front of the main office?" He nods as he shuts the door softly behind him. I sit for a minute, absorbing all of this information he has given me. I kind of new I had a sibling. When I was little, my birth giver would take me to a cemetery, on the better days when he was gone or too drunk to function. She would take me only a once a year on my birthday. We stopped going once I was getting older because it was too hard for her to explain when I started asking questions. But how did this man know that? How did he know about my past, with my life givers, about the night I couldn't stop what happened to me? 

I grab my things and change into some leggings and oversized flannel. I throw over my jacket and a beanie, locking the door behind me. I see the old man sitting at a table and chairs in front of the office, his cane sits next to him against his leg. He sees me, standing up slowly from the chair. "Shall we go my dear?" He shuffles off down the road as I follow. He walks fine without the cane he could get rid of it. Maybe he has balance problems? 

I follow him across the parking lot when a small VW Beetle. It looks old but like he's taken care of it for many years. He slides in the drivers side, leaning over to unlock my door. I climb in, admiring the perfectly crafted seats and interior. He turns the key, igniting the engine in a roar that's like music to my ears. I've always loved older cars, they were always so beautiful. The way they look, the way they drive are so much better than any expensive, luxury car. He smiles from the drivers seat as we head out of the city and into the country side. "I've had this baby since 1967. I've kept her looking nice all these years because she's worth it. I've never been without this car. He slides his fingers over the dash, admiring his handy work. Looking out the window at the trees flying by, the sun lurking through the leaves and the lines on the road as we drive. 

"Hey Mr. Edgar nice to see you again. And you've brought someone with you." The woman at the front smiles, turning to look at me. "Yes, my friend Callie. Wonderful day." He heads over to a side booth next to a window. He slides in motioning for me to sit across from him. "Hey there Mr. Edgar! The usual?" The waitress asks, not even holding paper to write on. "Yes please and a cup of coffee." She smiles. "And for your friend here?" She motions to me smiling wide. "Um, I think I'll need another minute to look at the menu." She nods and heads to the back. "So, Mr. Edgar, you seem like a regular." I grab a menu from the holder at the end of the table. "Been here once or twice." He sits tall, proud of himself. "Alright, you get enough time to look?" The waitress puts down two cups of coffee in front of us and a large vanilla shake in front of the manager, who I now know is Mr. Edgar. "Yes, I would like the oatmeal pancakes with raspberries, a side of home fries and a large chocolate shake." She smiles and nods walking away and through the kitchen door. "Milkshake huh?" Mr. Edgar smiles, sipping his. "Looked good!" 

"I would love to have you join me for breakfast on Sunday's. I always go to Sally's every Sunday morning. It's my favorite place in Seattle." He parks the car in the lot and I follow him to the main office. "I would love that Mr. Edgar." He stops before going in the door. "Oh please, call me Henry." He smiles, unlocking the door and walking in. I nod, even though he isn't looking at me. I walk down the path to my room and unlock the door. 

Henry. My first friend.