emerald eyes - DNF/gream

regret

                                                   TW//emetophobia, sickness, selfharm

dream lays in bed staring at the ceiling wondering how to talk to george after whats just happened

he really doesn't love me huh, well fuck him i dont need him

..i do need him i just cant believe he doesn't love me

i might be headed in the opposite direction

dream continues on with his week normally tweeting and working on pre-recorded videos so it doesn't seem like anything is wrong but dreams on his last thread. hearing george's voice every time he goes back to edit the video slices a piece off his soul. 

god i feel fucking disgusting not only because i haven't showered in weeks but im so nauseous 

realizing hes about to throw up he quickly shuffles to the bathroom. dream leans over the toilet trying to force it to come up, he feels something in his throat, thinking its bile or vomit he tries to force it up more. 

what the fuck is in my throat its blocking my air way

he starts to cough as he slowly starts suffocating, as dream gasps for air the thing in his throat comes up..a flower petal covered in blood

the hell is this all that for a little petal?? where did it even come from anyways?

dream flushes the toilet grabs some water and slowly walks back to his bedroom to start a quick stream of speedrunning

but id love to drive you home

hey guys!! im just gonna speedrun 1.16 for a while and possibly go on the smp after but probably not.

after speedrunning for about an hour on 1.16 he decides to try out 1.16.4 so he switches to speedrunning on the newer version. he gets a dono saying "where's george and sapnap? theyre watching ur stream y arent they in the call?"

where's george and sapnap and why arent they in my call? um i dont know they can join if they want to

please no please dont have george join, sapnaps fine i guess but please not george

another 20 minutes go by and sapnap joins his vc

whats up daddy?

oh hey sapnap i dont know im just trying to get a pb

george told me what you said

dreams heart stopped and he took his hands off of his keyboard

w-what?

yea he told me that you said my mom was hotter than his

dream relaxed a little bit and chuckled nervously

oh my god i did not say that i dont think ive ever seen george's mom anyways sapnap

sapnap stayed in the call for a little bit more until he started streaming and dream raided him

that couldve gone so badly, i wonder if george actually told him or he was just testing to see what i would do 

dream forced himself to forget about it but after a few hours of binging youtube and scrolling through twitter he started to feel nauseous again. he walked to the bathroom again and started to cough up another flower petal, again only one.

what the actual fuck why am i coughing up flower petals

he glanced at the shiny blade covered in dried blood on his counter and meticulously sliced a few more lines into his wrist adding physical pain to the mental pain he was already feeling before getting into bed and dming george

to: gogy<3

i miss you gogy wogy 

he put his phone down, rolled over and slowly dozed off to sleep

oh, im in trouble now

                 

                                                            --- 586 words ---