banana fish ep 25+ :p

10. the damaged boy

tw : rape, pedophila

*in ash's dream*
i could feel myself breathing slowly, through my nose, into my lungs making my chest rise.
i wriggled my fingers and felt bed sheets wrapping around my finger tips, i was on a bed.. a big bed, i couldn't reach the sides even with my arms stretched out
i could smell strong aftershave, its sent was familiar.....like i wouldn't forget it then the wave of sweat hit me. it polluted my nose giving me a concoction that reeked.
i held my breath and turned my head to the left in an attempt to escape it... as i did i felt my head sink deeper into a pillow....
It was soft and smelt like floral washing detergent, specifically daisy's.. that brought me a little bit of serotonin
daisy's remind me of griffin.... when we were younger we used to sit for hours on end and see who could make the longest daisy chain, of course he always let me win, he was always scared of what i mite do if he won
i let out a little giggle
for some reason my eyes were shut, i tried opening them but its like they were glued shut
as i stared into the black abyss and i started hearing faint voices... deep voices... familiar voices... it was getting louder and louder, i could now hear the shutter of a camera clicking over and over - click.... click.... click -
pain rushed through my body and my eyes shot open. i saw three men standing over me, one had a camera... i looked down and my trousers were pulled down. they started laughing louder and louder
my shock and confusion was amusing to them
i tried to move but i couldn't, i was paralysed in this spot, unable to move..... to run..... to defend myself
i had a horrible taste in the back of my throat, tears started pooling in my eyes and falling down my cheek
they were laughing harder and harder
so i screamed..
at the top of my lungs i screamed for help but no one was coming.. so i screamed again and again until my throat was hurting
the middle guy pulled out a gun and started walking towards me
i tried to run but the room was locked. he came closer. he was behind me. he turned me around  and he placed the tip of the gun in the centre of my forehead
i looked into his eyes...
he had pretty eyes, deep blue eyes like the darkest part of the ocean..
he looked into mine and a silence built in the room...
he smirked at me and pulled the trigger with no hesitation
*BANG*

i jolted awake, eiji was sat on my feet and he screamed
its just a dream......... its just a dream

i looked at him, i must have had some sort of sad puppy expression on my face because eiji face went from angry to confused to concerned,
i slowly shifted my knees up to my chest and just thought about what just happened.
i should be able to shake it off b-but i- i
i felt a small tear building in my left eye and it rolled down my emotionless face

"a-ash?"

eiji knew something was wrong b-but i- i couldn't tell him, i wouldn't want to burden him with such a stupid nightmare
i closed my eyes and wiped my tears of my cheeks, took a deep breath and looked up
i moved to make room for eiji and then i felt a sharp pain in my side

"ah eiji w-what?........w-"

"you ripped your stitches open.... remember?"
i looked at him and relaxed

"cain and sing fixed you up!" he said with a smile.

eiji always smiling in any situation no matter how bad...... thats why i l-
what?! f-fuck w-e i felt myself going visibly red
i-i cant think about that now i-

"wait here i need to tell sing your awake" ejii said excitedly

eiji leaving the room lifted a weight of my chest
also gave me time to think...... s-so lao was....most likely..... dead.. i- i have to tell sing
even though he tried to kill me i don't relish the thought of telling sing his brother is dead..... because if me.
but whats done is done........ i cant change it now.