Love Kayla

What is this?

     It's September and I had finally found it. Stability, a steady flow of income, my parents are proud, and I have the world at my fingertips. January of this year, I joined the military. The United States Army. I finally completed my training in May, and I was on to my first duty station in Colorado in June. I automatically had friends, and with them came even more friends. And one of them, a boyfriend (which is also my bestest friend). I'm also doing pretty well at my new job. Sounds great right? Sounds like I should be expieriencing pure happiness? Yeah, I thought so too. Don't get me wrong, I'm comfortable and grateful for what I have, and I have a smile on my face. I am good, I am satisfied.But I soon begin to realise, that I wanted more. I'm not talking about money, people, oppurtunity, or anything. I'm talking about true bliss.

     You see, satisfactory means: acceptable, though not outstanding. But I'm reaching for full gratification. I hunger for it. But that type of happiness starts from within. So I placed in my mind a promise to myself. I promised myself that I was truly gonna learn who I was and love myself. I was gonna love Kayla. She deserves it. So I started with health. I decided to become a flexitarian. I am already in the army, which required me to workout daily to keep me looking fit, but we all know that just because you look the part does'nt mean that you ARE the part. Not gonna lie, after training, we could finally eat ANYTHING. And being fro the south, New Orleans to be exact, I naturally craved sugar and salt. All I had to change was my diet...or so I thought. I then remebered that health was far more than just physical.We all know that it is very important to be mentally and emotionally healthy. So the second thing I did was pamper myself. So i drew a bath. I put all sorts of soaps, flower petals, a bath bomb and bath salt. I loved the pink color it gave me. I rested in it and prayed to God for self love. I had the idea to create different baths with different meanings, so i wrote down the different baths and ingredients, but i wanted to know what else I could incorporate into these "self-discovery" baths. I did what any 20 year old young woman would do.

     I went to Youtube. Not only did I find what I was searching for, but I found out that these baths had a name. It was called, "spiritual baths". I was already practicing these things and I got interested. The videos spoke of something called a spiritual awakening. They said that it was apart of one's spiritual journey. I dove deeper...hesitantly. Being a daughter of two ministers, and a product of southern Christianity, which is very strict. I began to fear the unknown, but still...I searched. What is this "spiritual awakening"?
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"The purpose of your life isn't to look for love. It's to delete all barriers, which prevent you from loving yourself!" -unknown