celestial strings | h.js

two.

"Jisung, I know you're excited, but please stop shoving me."

Jisung flashed an apologetic smile at a frowning Felix. Carefully pushing himself off Felix's back, he kept a hand on Felix's shoulder to steady his pained knees before poking his head between Felix and Hyunjin's arms to watch Seungmin enter the convenience store. Hyunjin nudged at Jisung's cheek in annoyance, but he made space for the enthusiastic boy by stepping to the side just enough to still be covered by the pedestrian bush.

Seungmin tried to hold back a hefty sigh when he approached the automatic doors. But between going inside and telling you his purpose of being here at this hour and turning back to watch Jisung's eyes fall flat for what would probably be the rest of his life, he chose this. He chose to give you the unasked push that everyone who was in the know needed. He chose to be the hand that brings the glue closer to the one missing piece.

The automatic doors slid open with the usual welcoming chime. He looked to the left to find the register counter vacant, so he turned and checked for the aisles. As expected, you were sitting at the window table having a dinner break, but he could tell you were keeping an eye out for whoever walked in the store just in case you had to ring a customer up. When you saw that it was just Seungmin, though, you relaxed.

"Hey!" You called with a wave. "What are you doing here?"

"Jisung is outside." Seungmin wasted no time.

You were chewing the remaining food in your mouth, the slow but steady movements of your mouth showing the reluctance you didn't with words. Your gaze followed suit with unease and distrust, the chopsticks in your hand falling.

It wasn't that you hated Jisung. You could never. All of this happened because your devotion to him was blind and faithful. It was the unknown that haunted you. Jisung's repulsed gaze reflected in the mirror every time you looked at yourself. Did they remain in his eyes until now? His violating words mirrored your judgment about yourself. Did he still think of you that way now? He hurt you because you hurt him first. You hurt him first. This was your fault.

You couldn't take the risk of spiraling. You had to avoid him at all costs. You needed to walk away from the chance of making another mistake, even if it meant bidding a silent farewell to him forever.

"I'm so sorry," Seungmin added. "But he's hurt. He's really hurt. He's bleeding."

Your brows furrowed sorrowfully, and you perked up from your seat. Your eyes darted out the window to look for any signs of people, but you saw none. Barely anyone walks by this area at this time of night. "What happened?"

Seungmin breathed a sign of relief upon your concern. He had been rigidly afraid of having to resort to violence, which just meant he would kick you off the chair and drag you outside by the ear. Jabbing a thumb behind his shoulder, he recounted what happened briefly. "Jisung tripped and fell on the ground when you teleported away. He stayed on the floor crying. He was hitting himself and everything."

What you felt reached beyond mere guilt. From the sound of it, he must have been crying because of you and hurt because of you. Huffing out a shivering breath, you allowed the pain in your abdomen to dissolve into acid and spread through your limbs. It was painful. Your feelings were painful. Everything was painful.

"Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep hurting him?" you whispered, tongue filled with violent accusations. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Hey, nothing is wrong with you," Seungmin urged after he quickly approached you. "Nothing is wrong with you. What happened was a gross case of miscommunication. You two suffered the consequences. It's all done. Jisung is out there right now. He needs to be healed, and he wanted to see you, so please–"