{kagehina} he smelled like oranges

Chapter 23.

It had been a couple days since Hinata's death and Kageyama was exactly where he didn't want to be: the hospital. Kageyama had tried to overdose on the pain medication, but he hadn't been able to, because right when he ingested them, Kuroo had shown up to check on him. Kageyama had been rushed to the hospital to get all the drugs out of his system. They told him he was lucky he'd been saved in time, but he didn't feel lucky, he just wanted to see Hinata again. He didn't strongly believe in anything, he wasn't sure if there was a heaven, hell, or anything at all. But even nothingness would be better than the reality of a lifetime without Hinata.

"I know what you're thinking," Kageyama looked up at the voice. Kuroo was standing in the corner of the room. He had barely left Kageyama's side since he'd found him and brought him to the hospital. Kuroo walked over to Kageyama's bed.

"I'm not going to let you do anything. After they release you, you're coming back home with me until I can find a better place. Kenma may not like it, but it's better than you being alone." Kageyama began to protest, but Kuroo held up a hand, "You don't get a choice in the matter. It's bad enough that Hinata's gone, there's no way I'm letting you die too." Kageyama felt frustrated, him and Kuroo weren't even that close, they'd only become friends because of Hinata's friendship with Kenma. Why was he doing all this? Surely it wouldn't affect Kuroo that much if Kageyama wasn't around anymore. Kuroo continued speaking, "I want you to know that there are people who care about you. People who would be devastated if you were gone. I'm including myself among those people. Think about how you feel about Hinata, others are going to feel that way about you. You don't want to give them hurt like that."

"What do you know about what I feel?!" Kageyama burst out, "Hinata meant everything to me and now he's gone! I'm the reason he's dead! If I hadn't been so goddamn stupid, he would still be here right now! Obviously, the world is better off without me in it! How could you possibly know what that feels like?!"

"I don't know what that's like," Kuroo relented, "But that still doesn't mean I agree with you or want you gone."

"That's not my problem," Kageyama responded, "I still don't want to be here, no matter what you say, you're nowhere as good as Hinata, so don't you dare think you can replace him."

"I'm not saying that I can," Kuroo said hurriedly, "I'm just telling you that I'm here for you."

"I don't want you to be," Kageyama said angrily, "Just go away, I want to be alone."

"I'm not doing that. I'll stop talking to you if you want, but there's no way I'm leaving this room," Kuroo told him.

"Fine," Kageyama growled. He felt so much hatred for Kuroo in that moment. He didn't want to be here anymore, and it was his life, Kuroo had no right to stop him. He glanced around the room, was there anything he could use to... wait. This room looked familiar, it was probably just because all hospital rooms looked the same, but he just had to make sure.

"Kuroo, what's the room number?"

Kuroo got up and leaned into the hallway to check, "4878. Why?"

"Get me out of here," Kageyama demanded.

"You're leaving later today, so it'll be a bit..." Kuroo trailed off as he saw Kageyama's expression, "Oh, you mean like right now? What's wrong?"

"Get me out," Kageyama repeated more urgently as he began to climb out of bed.

Kuroo concentrated for a moment, and then he seemed to remember something and realization dawned, "Is this where... Oh my god." He moved to help Kageyama out of bed. As soon as he was standing, Kageyama pushed Kuroo away and quickly went out into the hallway and collapsed on the floor, shaking. He'd just been where Hinata had died, he didn't think he'd ever be back there, and he didn't want to be.